Be american

>be american
>go on vacation
>kill yourself

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youtube.com/watch?v=QqHOTuvMWMw
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"""""suicide"""""

>Netherlands
>drowning

Who's surprised?

>Sweden

>Americans come in your cunt to end their live
How depressing.

>Suicide
What makes them wrong?

Amsterdam is full of canals with no fences so drunk people sometimes fall in.

>be German-American
>want to tap into your German heritage
>start taking German classes in university
>it's really difficult, but you press on
>start getting the hang of it
>go on language exchange apps, meet some German speakers
>your conversational German improves
>begin taking higher level German elective courses as you improve
>you're $100k in debt, barely scraping by as a student, but you still put some money aside to save for a trip to your ancestral homeland
>in your last year of university, you figure you will travel to Germany as a graduation gift to yourself
>[language studying intensifies]
>download several advanced language study materials online and go through them all, sticking to your language learning schedule
>you're speaking German with tutors and language exchange partners a few hours every week
>you graduate from university and start making your travel plans
>you decide to spend a month traveling through Germany, planning out your journey
>hop on the plane while listening to German music and watching German movies (without subtitles)
>after your non-stop flight, you arrive at the airport
>walk outside the airport
>see Germany
>kill yourself

>be american
>Can't into motorcyle
>die

>go to germany
>so bad it makes me want to fucking kill myself
>kill myself

""""""suicide""""""

Yes comrade, kidnapping and extortion death was pure coincidence! Man was very depress! Body found with suffocation and torture marks!

>be American
>go to a Saharan landlocked country
>drown

>be American
>goes to Bangladesh
>wants to swim in a designated shitting river
>gets drawn
>die

No low HDI countries allowed

thanks

>Car accident
>Africa and Brazil

>Implying Africa and Brazil have roads

>homicide

>drowning in Malinese pussy

>Romania
>both accident and suicide
heheheh stupid burgers, they suspect nothing

>americans

How exactly does someone drown in Mali? isn't it a desert?

>Their country is so shit that Burgers have killed themselves upon visiting it due to how shit it is.

>drowning in Sahara
wew

Just because we all are not shitting in mall, it doesn't mean we are so shit

Good, they had it comming desu.

>suicidal
>spend money on one way ticket to nice country
>Blow savings on a nice vacation
>Kill myself in a beautiful country that I have an ancestral connection to

makes sense to me.

t. not suicidal

Kek

Ok I am now a bit more worried about coming to Colombia and Venezuela

Adapting to the local culture.

>le not differentiating between white and black americans meme

>Sweden
>homicide
I'm unironically pleased by this tbqhwy famalams. It's probably some shitty reason though, like 2 Burgers have died here in total and one was murdered.

youtube.com/watch?v=QqHOTuvMWMw

How the fuck you drown in Mali?

Russia so depressive for all foreiths. Only vodka can stop depression.

>be proud american
>decide to finally break the stereotype and travel to one of those terrible overseas country
>hmm in Australia they have shrimp BBQ, it might be a little poor kangaroo riding country but at least I can eat properly
>touch down and go through customs, take off shoes, pants, peg willy to stomach and throw hands in the air in surrender
>customs officer waves me through with only a quick dog sniff, doesn't even remove my prostate for analysis
>decide to have a burger in the airport, ask for the biggest one hoping it is at least american snack sized
>meat patty, 2 fried eggs, beetroot, pineapple, cheese, bbq sauce, lettuce, tomato, fried onion, all fresh non-processed ingredients
>eat with tears in my eyes, this place is heaven but its obviously just a show they put on at the airport to trick people
>get out of the airport, not a black person in sight how can this be?
>hear a loud bang and dive to the ground breaking my wrist, but it wasn't a gunshot
>get my wrist fixed and start the process to mortgage my home, doc says 'it's free mate'
>can't take it anymore, find a bridge to jump off and get a pie on the way to remind me of home
>bite into the pie just before jumping and its filled with delicious beef and gravy instead of dry apple
>I flew to close to the sun

accident master race

>get out of the airport, not a black person in sight how can this be?
You blew it m8

>Be American
>Go to Australia
>Get off the plane
>Immediately develop skin cancer
>Die

>Australia
>1st world

>be american
>be abroad
>rent car
>can't drive stick
>crash and die

Actually, I think the colour is the "drug-related" one, not the homicide one. Though naturally I would be quite pleased if you were right.

>Canada
>"Accident"

If you want to go to northern south america always try to go in planned tours

>Drowning in Mali
Poor burger must have fell into a well.

ha ha haha hahahaha hahahaha HAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAA

I might have to kill myself later this year, I've been considering going to Mexico and fuck with a drug cartel or something.

Just go to a no go zone in Sweden amigo.

This is kind of irrelevant but I've seen many americans in our beaches doing fucking yoga moves like what the fuck? I thought that was a gta meme

hahahaha

wtf, I HATE mexico!

Dying in a warmer country will make my ghost more yang.

Why do Americans go to Sweden to do drugs? Seems like a weird place.

>Mexico
>homicide

I thought this was just common knowledge.

>Americans drown in countries that don't even have a coast

>be amerifat
>Go to Quebec
>traffic sign are in french
>Crash and die

>Go to Thailand
>Buy a gallon of cocaine and all the underage dick you can find in Pattaya
>Die

>most common cause of unnatural death of Americans in Mali is drowning
okay what the fuck
how is this possible
Mali is literally nothing but desert
how the fuck
?

You're all the same to us, De'Shawn.

So you're calling yourselves retarded?

Looks like I'll be traveling to Serbia and Belarus

You have to go a long way out of your way to see something like that.

You shit on the road instead.

no he's calling you a racist

NT is the freest, least nanny and best state m8.

>southern cone = civilization

damn, wtf latin america. Bolivia are fucking disgusting

We should stop them on driving here.

I actually saw them crashing once.

>greece

>instead of dry apple
Apple pie is supposed to be moist like your dad's wife's pussy.

BRAAAAAAAAP

>NT is the freest, least nanny and best state m8.
They're not a state you mong.

why are these krauts and other foreign shits so obsesses with us. it takes a lot of time to create all kinds of meme maps about us.

i almost feel bad that i don't give a shit about you.

>hurr durr people need to know the different colors of americans because it's important for some reason
one guy is as bitchy and violent or faggy and limp-dicked in this country as any other

Sweden has a lot of H, doesn't surprise me

Be American
Go on vacation
Travel to exotic, distant lands; meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

...

hahaha

kek, very good

Nice.

should have said

>walk outside the airport
>everything is in English
>they're all speaking English
>kill yourself

I'm planning to go backpacking with a friend in South America once he graduates

just crossed Venezuela and Colombia off of the list

that struck me as odd too

Sweden is definitely not where I'd go if I was planning on drug-filled debauchery

More like Cambodia or Goa

>Mali
>Drowning
wat

It's always amazing seeing yanks drowning on land locked countries

>drowning in a land locked desert
ftfy

Don't you mean Turkish?

kek

memes aside, everyone in berlin knows english

>be American
>go to the Netherlands
>drown

''''''''''''''accident''''''''''''''

excellent post

based mehico

desu, im pretty sure the largest killer outside of illnesses is car collisions in canada, we're shit tier drivers

drunk driving is also pretty damn normal here

I'd kill myself if I went to Europe too

My first time ever visiting Europe, I flew into Frankfurt. After seeing how gray, modern and depressing that Frankfurt was, I considered killing myself before I could be further disappointed in Germany.

Your post is too accurate.

Pretty sure Frankfurt is exceptionally modern and trash. Try Bavaria or Austria next time

Americans can't swim at all. It's not taught in schools or part of their culture at all.

It probably has something to do with preventing slaves from running away.

that's not homicide
that's drug related + accident

Seems about right. Last year some American nutjob that believed in the apocalypse died in a shoot with police. He had a stash of like 50 rifles and a ton of ammo. The thieves here tend stay away from tourists because the cops take that seriously.

>all fresh non-processed ingredients

I've learned over time that that varies by state.
Here in the midwest are are all taught to swim.
By Middle School we are supposed to take a swimming course, but it isn't learning how to swim. It's just expected that they know by now.

Sounds like a fucking great way to die. A bit romantic yes?

>be super depressed and going to end it all
>go to europe on a backpacking trip
>buy that German EU infinite train ticket thing
>buy some sort of EU gym monthly membership
>travel europe by train, for only like 800 or so bux a month
>sleep in train, eat in train, whatever
>take showers at the international gym chain
>travel and experience the beauties of this world
>smoke weed in amsterdam
>go to oktoberfest
>watch bullfights
>drink coffee in venice
>chainsmoke in the french countryside in some random wine bar
>fuck a guy in stockholm
>romance a random polish villager while you work on her father's farm for a week for food/lodging in his barn

When it's all coming to a beautiful end, and you know life cannot become any better than this, just... let go of the railing.

it's a US map