I need help. I have OCD and Anxiety Disorder

I need help. I have OCD and Anxiety Disorder.
I am not capable of relaxing after I've been outside or when I've suffered from my OCD. It feels like everything I wanna do after that (like gaming) will get 'infested' by the thoughts/feelings I had earlier that day.
In order to relax I have to be in bed before 0:00, only then I can relax the day after.
So I have to plan 'game-days' and 'non-game' days.
I can't even live, see?
Help, please.

Diazepam 2mg 3x a day.

Go to a fucking doctor.

I have sertraline 150mg a day. Have been to doctors and therapy for 6 years, man. Just got out of youth mental hospital where I lived for 5 months.

Then it's not working and you need an alternative method. Is your doctor WebMD?

No it's not. I have had a lot of doctors and psychiatrists.

Bumping my own thread because desperate.

You probably just have autism.

Got tested on that. Scored 2/10. Probably because I can't take big changes a lot and since I hate people too fast.

Still waiting for good reaction.

If you were trusting straight off the bat, that would be bad. Not liking people is normal. I still get amped up for a fight when I'm anywhere at night. I don't live in Bradford any more but I still hold the aggressive prejudice.

You're probably fine and there's fuck all wrong with you. My friend has diagnosed OCD and has diazepam prescribed (UK), and went through cognitive behavioural therapy which helped her massively. My gf went through CBT also for social anxiety and it was life changing for her.

Guess I'm lost.

Stop being a pussy

Had CBT lots of times. Did exposure and response prevention as well. Why I don't want to let gaming get 'infested' by negative thoughts/feelings is because I then have something which is still 'clean' and which I can live for. Sometimes I just wished I never had the luxury.

>'mom I posted on Sup Forums after lurking for 10 months!'

What do you feel you're infesting, the actual game, the controller/keyboard? What will be the end result if it does become infected?

When my friend was going through the therapy for it, they asked her to leave one item out of place when she leaves her flat. It comes back during times of extreme stress. If you have anything consuming your thoughts, just start sorting that problem if possible, immediately.

>I'm genuinely interested, not trying to diagnose you lol.

I jut took 1mg of clonazepam to calm down from a panic attack, havent had to take any in few weeks what sucks though is it takes hour to kick in ugg

My doctor has me on 1.5mg a day it makes me so fucking tired I hate it, I cant drive when I'm on it either, be careful it can become VERY addicting or habbit foming and withdrawl is suppose to be horrible not trying to freak you out..

Thank you for listening and trying to help.
No, I feel like I'm literally infesting that game because I like it so much and it may not touch the unreal thoughts I have during the day.

In addition, I believe I have more than just OCD. How did my stupid mind make up this system?

Clonazepam never did anything for anxiety for me. Well, stimulant psychosis fueled paranoia. Knocked me on my arse though, which is what I had to rely on.

I have PTSD from years of deployments, never had anxiety my entire life then out of blue it appeared and crushed me, I'm suppose to be starting a 16 day CBT and exposure thing well see how it works, I'm to anxcious to go into treatmwnt in a hospital for weeks on end like they want me to..

It helps me just takes while to kick in, I was on xanax but they swapped it I try not to rely on it makes me paranoid I will become addicted then I start freaking out lol

Is it a real hospital or one of those houses with other kids/people where you live and have therapy?

Are you NEET? I'm a old fag so ontop of my military benefits I get SSDI, if you have enough credits you can apply for that i not aorking

Yes, NEET because of this problem. I think moving will help me, but I'm 18 and NEET so I don't have money. It's a cycle.

It fits the OCD profile. Are you in a bad point in life? I got dropped from my job 10 days before Christmas, with no real reason given, but I'm pretty sure it's because one of the manager's was douchecrushing over one of the new barmaids who I got on really well with. Anyway, I had to resort to doing dodgy shit over the Christmas period to make rent and pay bills, now I've got two jobs so I have life held by the balls. One bollock per fist.

I don't know. I just don't wanna work. I want to do exactly what I want only.

SSRIs don't work you fucking cuck

Then tell me what DOES work? Please.

Congratulations, you're smart enough to realise that working for someone else at minimum wage is a joke. I wish I was dumb as fuck and could work in a supermarket without getting a coke habit just to cope.

Go to college and university. I went, failed my second year, but started selling research chemicals. Instead of handing in 1 assignment over the summer, I told them to go fuck themselves and was happy with the return I was making. But the whole experience of moving out, having to put up with things I didn't know annoyed me, because I'm living with these people for a year, completely changed me. You like video games, go into Game/Media Development - with VR just round the corner, it couldn't be a better time to jump on that wagon. Everyone that graduated with a degree went on to first salaries of £27k average.

>get an addiction
>beat it
>free confidence

Setting goals for yourself and workng towards them instead of looking for instant gratification like a child.

I am trying, fag. You really don't understand.

You need to take control and fucking own something in your life pal. Start with small achievable goals, go to the gym, start a sport (kick boxing/muai Thai I'd recommend) compete in that sport after 6/12 months, get a driving license and lessons/motorcycle, get into college, get into uni; something to ease your mind from thinking 'this is my life forever' as you stare into nothingness with dead eyes on the till in Tesco. If you have all these small goals and a few larger ones that progress you into another stage in your life, it will make the shit job just be a temporary shit job that you're just grinding to get what you want.

Thanks for trying to help. I want to study psychology so I can help kids like me.

I own something. I own my computer. All these things you mentioned require money. My very good mother gives me 40 euros a month and pays my health insurance for me.

Beat me to it.

I've got the same problem and I'm almost 22. All started in my late teens after a fucked up relationship. Since then I closed inside of me, lost a shit ton of friends, gained a lot of weight , but still managed to finish uni. Atm I have no idea what to do with my life, I dont wanna use drugs and i have 0 motivation for whatever, tried working out at the gym, but gave up 2 weeks after that. I feel i might kill myself in the future 2-3 years, we'll see

What you have is a vivid imagination and a lot of growing up to do. Start by going outside and actually talking to real people face to face for once you miserable shitstain worthless millennial.

I don't mean own a possession, I mean own something. Set a challenge, work at it relentlessly til you beat it. If it's easy, then you set the bar too low.

You have to start from the ground up then mate, shit job, 30-40 hours a week, stay with your mum so you don't lose all your money on rent. Save up for college, buy a gym membership, think of what first car you want, save up for it, eventually when you can afford it, you get gratification. Rinse repeat, die.

Exactly. If this is how it works then I don't want to be a part of it.

You got exactly the same?

I spend most of my days playing games and drinking, haven't had a good time in years
I feel out of place whenever im outside

Pick something, and work at it. Do you want to throw grenades at cows and shoot off an AK47 full auto at random shit? Save up for a 2 month holiday to Cambodia (I think it is? Next to Thai Land).

I think you guys need a drug problem to be honest, just to put a bit of ooomph in your life. Drugs are fun as fuck, and equally as scary when you're hearing stops working, your heart ramps up to an unbelievable speed where you lay down sweating a fucking river and calmly accept death, pass out, then wake up like a new man. Its exciting.

Both correct. Don't wanna talk to grown ups. I want to help kids like me who actually look up to me. I mean 14-20 yo.

That's the dumbest example ever. Sorry.

What drug has the best trips ?

That's because your universe is essentially playing viddy games and eating food your mum makes you. I think you can see what you need to fucking do. You're a young adult, not 13.

I alive along you faggot
My parents died 4 years ago

Live life at full throttle eh?
>#YOLOFGT

Stop caring about others, care only about yourself. If somebody does something you don't like, ask them to not do it again and tell them why. If they do it again clock them in the face as hard as you can without warning. Anybody that says anything about that not being manly is fucking retarded, its about winning and coming out on top...nothing more than that.

underrated

Ehh. I appreciate you're trying to help but I mainly face the problem of not even wanting to meet other people.

...This is for if somebody is bullying you or purposefully trying to get under your skin. If you know you're nutty and letting things get under your skin that shouldn't, just take a deep breath and pretend this is all just a test. It works for religious fanatics it can work for you to. We'll all be dead sooner or later, let your fear pass through you. (Read Dune, lots of good lessons and shit in it + its cool as fuck with all the sci fi shit....)

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to meet other people. You don't have to be everybody's friend, and I'm sure you're not going around being a dick to people. Just don't think about it so much bud; you're worrying about things that have not happened yet. Do you fear people interaction or do you even want to meet other people but something is keeping you back ?

alcoholism helps.

Says person who doesn't know what he's doing with his life an plans on killing himself. I don't fucking know you, do I? Am I meant to decrypt some hidden bio of yours in posts throughout Sup Forums and /r9k/ to give you a well informed bit of advice?

Drugs are not to fill a hole, they are to complement events. That question has too broad of an answer, it's something you need to research, not have it spoon fed.

Lol. They most definitely faked their deaths to get away from you.

As gay as it sounds, yeh pretty much. It's not a good personality trait to have though. Addiction comes easy, and having a need to gamble doesn't stop at money - I ride a motorcycle and gamble my life with some of the shit that I think is acceptable at the time.

I fear getting intrusive thoughts and feelings accompanying them.

Never said I wanted to kill myself kek
At least read before shitposting.
Is this your first post?

Yeah, that's because your OCD is in no way getting treated by an SSRI. There's a lot of people that are only depressed that don't even find it working. I've been suffering from depression for 15 years, only that I've been pretty functional most of that time. My life derailed when I was about 15, made me completely sleepless most nights and just fucked me up completely. Got sexually assaulted in the middle of a personal crisis and things just went down the shitter. After a year or two of that I decided to get help, which eventually led to me getting Mirtazapine and Sertraline. The sertraline got me out of the suicidal period, and once I got my sleep back I started recovering. I'm now off the sertraline for about 2 months, and I feel like my mind is a lot clearer. I don't feel half sedated all the time anymore, something I didn't realize that the sertraline caused until I stopped. You need medication against your OCD dude. And therapy if you're not getting that at the moment.

>maxy clough
>more like max cough

9/21394,394

My gf has this, she will sit and cry because she feels abnormal for not wanting to be everyone's best friend, as user put it. She's the sweetest thing and wouldn't harm a fly, but thinks she's a fucking monster lol.

I don't think you know what an actual evil human being is like, so you can't reference anything you think to anything worse, that you have seen/experienced in your life.

Do it, if you want it, it will feel extremely satisfying.

There's no IDs is there you cunt! Lol.

It depends on what you want. LSD is very rewarding, if you want to go hardcore go DMT. Opiates won't give you an experience, it will fuck your life up further without any real reward.

ITT: pstjetic, angst-ridden millenials express their deeply distressing realisation that they're not a special snowflake after all, and that the real world doesn't give a fuck about them. Harden the fuck up, young men.

If you were abused you can't become a social worker in the field you were abused in. In the UK anyway, I don't know about NL.

Maybe that's how you can live your life. You are thinking this is wrong because most people don't have the same feelings you have but maybe that's just who you are. But seeing other people's lives and hearing a lot of different shit on the internet made you believe that the way you live is wrong so you are unhappy and you want to change.

Try for a week to do what you usually do while at the same thinking that this is the way you want to live and that's the only right way for you. Nobody knows what you are actually feeling except for you. And don't let anybody tell you that you are living the wrong way. There is no right and wrong for everyone. If you feel that this is right, then it is. Hell, you don't even hurt anyone by living like that so...

Never been abused. Think there are a lot of people who suffered from psychological problems themselves here who are in psychology.

Thanks mate!

I really don't care what people think about me, I just want to be happy.

OCDfag here - I've had it severely, where I couldn't get to work on time and all that. The best thing I can tell you is that you should just keep doing more and more things other than obsessing. The more you get involved in, and the more you keep occupied with, the less room in your mind there is for it to sit idle and start obsessing again. No, it won't be instant, but you'll probably see it lessen over time. I still have it to some degree, but have seen great improvement.

The book Brain Lock was also the most helpful. I liked the book How To Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything by Albert Ellis as well - don't let the title make you think that it's some unrealistic happy-go-lucky program, though it is defiantly optimistic. Albert Ellis was one of the people who was very skeptical about Freudian psych and started it on it's demise, so it's not like he's not skeptical - as a matter of fact, the book teaches you to be skeptical of your anxious thoughts and dispute them rationally and empirically.

Then be better than everyone. Or at least aim for it.

Yet are quite happy to seek attention from those people you don't give a fuck about on a public forum.
>millenials