This is Bert. Bert is stuck in a room with a glass of water, a mirror, a note, and a fucking table...

This is Bert. Bert is stuck in a room with a glass of water, a mirror, a note, and a fucking table. Bert needs to go to his mom's funeral but Bert can't figure out how to leave the room! Help Bert out!

Dubs decides what Bert does.

Break mirror, see if there is anything behind it.
If you can't use your hands, use table.

masturbate furiously

Bert reads the note

pour the water on your dick

pour the water on the note

Eat the mirror

Winrar

soak note in glass of water

I was gonna say that, thanks.

Bert pours water on the note. The note is now soaking wet. While pouring the water the text on the note distorted and read "Dear Bert. This is your mother. Fuck you. You're the reason I'm killing myself. Kill yourself. Love, Mamma Bert"

Bert is touched by the note, considering it's the first time his mother referred to herself as his mother. He cries.

poor bert.

He eats the mirror.

Cries in the cup then drinks his own tears

roll

he also eats the glass after

bert gets over it gets neked

roll

Bert smashes down the wall with his own hands, grows wings, flies to the funeral, takes his mums body out the casket and masturbates over it while reading the note.

Bert becomes his mother.

Bert dies

Smash mirror with table to see what's behind it.

roll

Rollex

Bert eats the mirror and gains the powers of reflection

this

Bert eats the mirror

Have sex with table

roll

Bert sucks his own cock

This tbh fam. It's what I'd do.

Mirror is code for acid, right?

bert kills himself

Roll

/thread

Well shit, winrar

sheit

well there goes the thread

wrought with grief Bert ends his life. He goes to heaven where he meets the angel of his dead mother as well as his Brother, Bert who died a few days ago due to being shot by the police.

Dubs decide what happens next. This adventure ain't over yet

Plot twist, Bert is her own mom! The reason she can't escape the room is because she's attending her own funeral.

His corps gets raped by a black guy

well shit

Bert is resurrected and eats the mirror, drinks his own tears from the cup and then eats the cup

Bert leaves all those people who have never cared about him, and goes to find a sexy girl angel instead

Life is just a room you can't escape, while you slowly, inevitably attend your own funeral. Everything you experience is just the insane imaginations of your dying self, from the last time you realized this ultimate truth. All this is a hallucination, and your corpse is back in the previous reality, being raped by a black guy who paid the coroner $20 because he has a necrophilia fetish.

Do all of these

Bert is the universe gaining awareness of itself.

Bert eats himself.

what the actual fuck did i just read

This

It's raining on Mt. Fuji.

While in heaven bert feels his ass being pounded. Suddenly he is ressurected and immedately eats the mirror AND drinks his own tears and eats the glass. The sharp glass cutting his mouth and insides as he eats them but he does not care. Only then He does he see a nigger with two guns raping his dead corpse from before. Bert isn't happy.

What happens next?

Bert gets revived, rapes niggeer, then dies of heartattack

gets raped by a different black guy

roll

this

Black guys kills himself, goes to heaven and rapes bert again

bert rapes black guy

Bert becomes a brony.

Bert fucks his mum

Fucking wasted dubs

roll

So: Bert becomes autistic?

fucking waste of trip dubs

immidiately after he kills himself and goes to super heaven

This. Death is a helluva drug. It can make you retarded.

Bert runs for president

Bert getsdubs

Bert disarms and kills the nigger then fires a thermonuclear missile at the church where his mums funeral is happening which he somehow survives but because of the explosion he was blown into the middle of a desert

WINRAR

Bert gets a sex change and changes her name to Petunia. People who aren't following the thread and still refer to Bert as Bert without changing her name back are ignored, even if they got gets.

Sauce?

...

I wish I were dead.

Bert remembers watching MLP when he was alive before he was alive again and immediately would of gotten a boner if he hadn't lost so much blood due to eating glass already. He ignores the pain and instead informs the nigger about his favorite pony, Rainbow Dash or whatever the fuck it's called. The nigger retaliates by correcting Bert, saying that "FLutshy is the best".

Bert is now autistic and cannot communicate with normal people anymore.

What does bert do?

Roll

>that filename

Winrar

Oh god

Bert shits out a philharmonic orchestra and conducts it through beethovens 5th, Mozarts lacrimosa, and Less than Jake's entire discography then they all shit and piss on each other and Hillary and bill are watching and eating chili dogs and furiously masturbating respectively

wasted trips

>break mirror with glass
>tear up note and rearrange the characters for a suicide letter
>cut wrist and make the funeral a twofer

HOLY SHIT! IN A TWIST OF FATE BERT ROLLS DUBS REVIVING HIS OLD BODY! THE NIGGER IS SO SHOCKED THAT HE STOPS RAPING BERT AND GROVELS AT NEW BERTS FEET! BERT'S MOTHER IS REVIVED AND IS SO PLEASED AT WHAT HER SON HAS DONE! OLD BERT IS ALIVE AGAIN! BERTS WOUNDS ARE NOW COMPLETELY HEALED

BERT HAS ACHIEVED ENLIGHTENMENT AND CAN SEE INTO THE BEYOND NOW!

Bert turns himself inside out and exposes his insides to children

bert sleeps for 1,000 years

winning

Now get a sex change.

The nigger, both berts and berts mum eat mirrors and drink their tears to celebrate

That was me, I did that, my name is charlie and today I saved Bert with an extension of my dubs attaining proficiency

winrar

Also, mirrors is street talk for mind shredding deliriants. They become sadistic freaks, wearing bizarre costumes and makeup like this is some kind of shitty comic, and go around causing mayhem / murdering people because in their delirious state of mind they believe they're helping the world get to heaven.

...

BERT GETS A SEX CHANGE AND RENAMED HIMSELF BERTETTE! HIS MOM REMEMBERS WHY SHE KILLED HERSELF, OLD BERT HATES NEW BERT, AND NIGGER LOVES BERTETTE'S BOOTY!

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

Bertette kills its self

so, this becomes the middle east?

Since there were no mirrors around Bert and Bertette eat a table instead to compensate. We here at Bert industries apologize for the inconvenience. We intend to commit suicide tomorrow at high noon.

dubs decides what ahppens nexxt.

...

Bert joins isis

Bert kills everyone in room, rapes corpses, kills himself, goes back in time and rapes his fresh dead body.

Isis accepting bronies now?

War... war has changed

roll

Bertette enlists and goes to the middle east.

then gets killed for being a faggot

When you're fighting for Allah, you can't be picky about your recruits. The whole world is counting on them.

Bertette goes to the Middle East and joins Daesh. (ISIS)

Bertette becomes Sheldo from Big Banger Hypothesis