Uni stories thread?

Uni stories thread?

>first semester
>roommates with highschool friend and his bud
>mutual friend dating girlfriend who lives close to our dorm
>she takes 'purity' super seriously, but she's nice
>make friends with a guy from the floor, we'll call him floorbro
>chilling with roomies and floorbro one night
>drinking and doing all sorts of things you shouldn't in a dorm
>mutual friend breaks up with his girlfriend for reasons unknown
>she comes into our dorm having an emotional breakdown
>apparently she made sexy time with friend and now he doesn't want to see her anymore
>her breakdown is coming to a peak, while she lists all the things she was upset about
>she pauses for the first time in an hour to stop crying and talking
>floorbro, being the drunken sympathetic that he was, tries to disarm the situation
>"and he took your virginity"

Anyways, uni stories thread

i'm a uni dropout but have no good stories
bumping anyway

>first bf
>go to movie
>sitting next to each other
>super tense
>grabs my hand
>feels amazing
>oh gawd it's like heaven
Still masturbte to it after 6 weeks.

Tripping on acid at the highest point in town in the middle of winter - watched the sky and earth change places

Wait.... Was that the story?

Sounds like some shitty punchline to an in-joke for you and your Faggot friends to giggle about when you're drunk.

Please lurk more and discover what would pass as a quality story before you post on an image board you discovered an hour ago.

floors in dorm r separated male/female
i go to female floor to meet ladies
girl's picture of her on her door disappears
get called in
she claims i took it
have to go to campus security
didn't even take it
stupid bitch margaret

Were you born retarded or do you have to work at it, cretin?

fug m8 dont remind me

that story is a fucking mess.

the first time i read this i thought you were calling him floorbro cuz he was lying on the floor

>addicted to porn & rsdnation but wanted to quit cuz finally in uni in dorms
>couldn't

Only absolute madmen lay on the floor

the maddest hatters lie precisely on the floor to be lush with meaning, as they spin yarns of untruths

and floorbro was an absolute madman

whenever i saw him, that guy was always lying on the flor. saw him crawling around way too often, too.

literally creeped me out.

this thread got me thinkin':
is floorbro lilbro from that one thread???

he was crawling around in the showers too
we had to throw a swimsuit on his face to get him to stop

but he didn't stop

that's not even the worst part
the worst part is that actress who plays the grudge girl always dresses up like the grudge girl and they're dating and crawl up and down the street together strutting they stuff

oh no, that just made him crawl slower

...

>be me
>be autist
>studying at uni
>something I found to be a little funny happened to someone else
>idea.jpg
>decide to post on Sup Forums for the lulz
>they're all autists as well so they will find my story funny
>get called out on how shit my story was
>better start calling people retarded and a cretin
>got them good
>back to studying a degree I will drop out of anyway

Holy shit

remember when he followed that cat, crawling for nearly an hour?

Being this fucking stupid

Let's play spot the judgemental insecure newfag

Kek

best story here

/thread

>(you)

>didn't even happen to me
>mfw I will masturbate to this story for six weeks

and the cat led him thru the trees to a sheer mountain cliff
"that cliff is too steep to crawl up slowly" he said looking regretfully back on his crawl

Typical Uni yob

so he crawled even slower, that was key to make it up the steep mountain precipice
moral of the story, if you're crawling slo, crawl sloer

Kek/10

>hallway reeks of weed
>everyone is mad chill even the RA so noone cares for a while
>smell so strong you have to close your door so your bed doesn't smell like pot
>finally cops
>cops walk up and down hall sniffing
>everyone knows exactly who it is but don't want to tell cops
>cops bend down and smell each closed door
>they know too
>but they have to be really certain to legally enter
>cops leave
>stoner none the wiser
He didn't know to put a thing under his door.

Dem shorts look angry

and at the top of the mountain he found that bastard from resident evil 3 who locks himself in that crate in the beginning
dude from resident evil 3 is complaining about how he's going to die in the crate, listing the things that are going to suck about it
floorbro pipes up "i'm spent."

Which Uni?

Floorbro crawls to bed and goes to sleep.

The End

i went to uwm marquette & loyola new orleans, but i'm not op

>be me
>go to a high reputation university
>go into aerospace eng.
this shit is fucking hard, study all the time to not fail so i don't have time for bullshit stories
>not fail so far

I envy you guys with a job lined up and the option to go for a shit degree with no worries

keep going

No, stories over.

artful

At least someone else here is trying to do something with their life.

when floorbro wakes up he's not wearing the coonskin cap that the old koon bequested him
that's cuz ol jim from huckleberry finn took it

ol jim is fucking that dude who killed that bitch in that one faulkner book (or is that all faulkner books) in the grass by the sanctuary but grudge girl is crawling close
"give that back to floorbro" she calls
"oh shit" they say, fucking while running away

...

first day @ cal poly
came dressed up as po from teletubbies

Cops came into our room while we were smoking weed and me and my roomate were on Kratom, immediately after they left we passed out for like 8 hours from all the Kratom, acting like nothing happened

nothing did happen, you were on kratom

it was super embarassing cuz my professor @ my industrial engineering class was dressed up as tinkywinky

It actually wasn't that bad, they took our grinder, weed and gave us a court date, we didn't get kicked out luckily

that's because of all those dry, charismatic donald duck impersonations you did at the cops

cops busted in the door while i'm smoking heroin while the navaho blanket bitch is fucking my ass with a strapon, the other end in her pussy
"shit, don't you guys knock?"i said
"sorry"morris and deputy borris said, leaving, morris asked, demoted between the sorry and the time they were out the door, "do you want me to close it all the way?"

That's a very specific reaction to have to cops lmao

i'm a ra, i dress like this when i'm in my single alone
i quickly change anytime any1 comes to the door

i wore my godzilla suit to the first day of community college

Congrats on your diagnosis.