ITT: weird shit you did as a kid

ITT: weird shit you did as a kid.
>Be me
>Be 6
>Mom leaves house
>Have to poop
>Watching Barney
>Fucking loved Barney at the time
>Don't wanna get up
>Strip
>Shit in hand
>Need to hide it
>Rub Shit into hardwood floor while watching Barney
>Finish rubbing shit and sit on couch
>Barney gets off tv
>Sitting in room naked
>leave shit stain on couch
>Sesame street comes on TV
>Grover says to try new foods
>Start licking shit covered foor
>Throw up because shit is nasty
>Try to eat throw up
>Mom comes in and screams
>We move
>Don't end up getting sick somehow

More stories?

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Are you a dog?

bump

no

just a faggot

I became a faggot, after I first sucked a friend's dick

You want story?

Yes.

When I was 8 my grandma had a dog that would sniff your crotch. She always hit the dog when he did that. I thought that was cruel. Anyway we where there in the vacation and she lives in the middel of nowhere. She was very mean and I got homesick. I sneaked away to the garage in her giant villa. Crotch sniffing dog came up to me and I felt bad for him I let him sniff my crotch and he started licking and closing his eyes like he was enjoying it. I felt extremely aroused and took of my bikini and let him do his business. Eventually he fucked me too and I was super scared I would be pregnant and would get a half human half dog baby and I worried about for days.

wtf

So, did you?

>be me
>Be 10
>Be friends with Brother and sister for long time
>They were a year older
>Start to get inferiority complex, from them saying I was immature all the time
>Brother is super aggressive
>Beats me up while play fighting all the time
>Sister thinks nothing is wrong
>One night Brother and sister are having a sleepover at my place
>Sister leaves after a while, because she had trouble sleeping at other people's houses
>Brother and I say up super late
>We make up a game to play where I am a slave, and he is a princess
>(He later ended up being transgender)
>He pretends to whip me
>Forces me to kneel in front of him
>He whips out his dick
>Tells me to suck it
>I do, because I am totally submissive to him at this point
>11 year old cums in my mouth
>Tells me to admit I like him
>I tell him I do
>Never talk about ever again
>Develop sissy/sub/femdom fetish because of it

When I was a young child, I thought black people pooped white.

y

>3rd grade, in class
>have to shit
>its that constipated kind where its a bunch of hard turd nuggets
>hold it in because autism
>one nugget falls out my ass into my pant
>shit shit shit
>reach into pants and grab it
>throw it under the desk in front of me
>5 minutes later girl at desk picks it up, thinks its trash, starts freaking out because it smells awful
>never got caught
Lol

Because white people poop brown.

...

Reminds me of when I jacked off in class
>Be me
>Be in 6 grade
>Teacher talking about poetry
>Kid in class with me makes up a limerick
>"There once was a robot named Chong
>who acted as if he wasn't wrong
>But deep down inside
>He had little pride
>Because he always wore a thong"
>Kids laugh
>Kid gets in trouble
>Goes to office
>Start to get horny because of earlier described fetishes and mentioning of thong
>Ask to go to the bathroom
>They wouldn't let me go, because they were bitching out us for laughing
>Stick hand in pocket
>Grasp dick
>Began to masturbate
>Try not to moan
>Pants get really sweaty
>Cum
>Ask to go to the bathroom
>They let me go
>People laugh at me, because it looked like I wet myself, due to the sweat
>Go to Bathroom stall
>Strip
>Lick cum out of underwear
>Jack off more
>go back to class
>Still looked like I wet myself
>mfw everyone in the class thinks i'm a loser
>mfw when I am
>mfw i have no face

There are worse ones

Top kek you faggot

Why dont you, i dont know...maybe kill yourself

>Still friends with both to this day
>Both are tumblr feminists
>Their rhetoric feeds into my fetishes
>I come over and they make me do housework
>Their house is REALLY dirty
>The transgender one still plays with my emotions and act hyper sexual around me
>Not sure if the sister knows what happened
>If I stay for the night, I either sleep on the other side of the Transgendered one's bed or the couch
>It's a massive cocktease
>I come home depressed, and fap to Femdom videos

Too scared

For show and tell I would recreate what it looked like when bad guys got shot and fell down. I would do it like 5 times falling in different ways.

How do I avoid begin this much of a faggot? I'm trying to get a girlfriend, so I won't be, but I barely feel attracted to anything at this point, unless there is a humiliation aspect.

why?

>wrestle with my stuffed animals
>eat white bread for the hell of it
>eat a stick of butter that's been covered in salt
>at one point, had a booger wall
>do poses I saw in anime
>stick my finger in my ass and smell it

Join the Army and die like a man
Or reverse-isis, isis, and scream Ackbar Allahu inside one of their bases before setting off fireworks

Cause I played a lot of golden eye on the n64 as a kid and they had limited Seth animations. I even ran around once "in an all slappers match" fighting invisible people in the classroom.

im both disgusted and checkd at the same time

twas my life

>be me
>be young
>Put like twenty stuffed animals in my bed
>Put on audiobook
>Pretend to go to bed
>Grind my dick on stuffed animals for like three hour each night
>This was before I knew how to fap

I'm a conscientious objector

Hey, I did the same thing! It's how I learned textures.

>This bear has a rough texture, so it doesn't feel as good.
>This bear on the other hand has very soft fur, so I use it more often.
>I wrestle both of them by day, cuddle by night.

>had a spongebob fold up tent
>put blanket over it
>me and sister would go inside it
>not sure how It got to this but we would always pull down our pants and show each other our "PP's"
>I remember one time and it was when I showed her my dick and she pulled down her pants and I told her mine was bigger
>years later I remember us being bored and standing in our driveway and I asked her if she wanted to do it again and she said no but I'm not sure if that was a dream or not

>be me
>be 5
>family friends comes over
>family friend dad gets drunk (mom is MIA, hes a washout so she left him)
>family friend son has to stay in my bed
>tell him he needs to put his mouth of my pee pee, everyone does it when they sleep over
>he sucks my pee pee
>they leave they next day and I never see them again
>probably my fault
>first and last gay experience i had at age 5

>be 5 or so
>Parents get gateway computer
>keep box in basement next to my new n64 (Mario party NIGGA)
>have to poop, but same idea as OP, won't go upstairs all the way to the bathroom
>Cut hole in gateway box with scissors (more like stab hole)
>Push ass cheeks to hole in box, and proceed to shit in box
>do this 4 or 5 times
>Moving day rolls around
>mom says nothing
>Sheknows.png
also piss in bottles ect.

...

>After a while I started looking at this illustrated Dictionary all the time
>It had a picture of a woman in various sexual clothing
>Corset, Pantyhose, etc
>This was at my Grandmother's house, so I had no stuffed animals to grind
>I grinded on my grandmother's pillow while looking at a dictionary
>cringe forever

>be 8
>move to new neighbourhood
>meet next door neighrbour and tell him that my family is different
>"we dont use toilets we just use pots"
>have large flower pots inside house since just move
> next 3-4 times we hang out we pee in the pots because its what my family does
>one day dad finds the pot with piss in it and it stanks like high hell
>ask what the hell is going on
>say its neighbour kid and his family is weird
>dad forever banishes kid and hates the family
>again my fault
>i ruin potential relationships

Young kids seem to do this shit

wtf

>pillow-fucking
Yep, you're me. I didn't stop fucking pillows and blankets (or even couches) until I was about 19.

Are you that fag again that needs to read whole stories to get off?

>be me again
>be 13
>my friend come over for a sleep over (didnt make anyone suck me off tho)
>one friend passes out at 745
>me and other friends want to bug him
>one friend finds a air mattress pump
>puts pump in ass and pumps air into colon
>we spend the next 3 hours farting on my friend who tries to sleep
>4 friends are now constantly farting on one kid
> next morning my dad comes down to basement
>"what the fuck is that smell, did someone shit themselves"
>friends all roar with laughter
>I lost another friend after that night
>i ruin relationships

tfw my only friends were people that made me feel like shit, pillows, and stuffed animals

tfw I still sleep with stuffed animals

I too jerked it in class
>Be 12 year old me
>Class is taking test
>I have always gotten really turned on by frustration
>Purposely don't answer any questions on test
>Repeatedly rub pants over penis to the thought of the clock ticking down and me not answering any questions
>Cum hard in pants
>People likely noticed but never said anything because shit like that was expected of me
>Fail test

no

>Be me
>hanging out with 7year old pall, he has a 16 year old sister.
>Notice her diary on her pillow
>Hear my dad arrive to pick me up
>We both look at eachother with a sensable chuckle
>thisisgonnabegud.png
>we both shit on the current page of the book
>wiping our butts on the other written pages
>smearing some large chunks of shit arround on the uncovered surface of clean potential toilet paper until our hands looked like the general populaton of Africa.
>closing the diary like a sub with too much in between
>closing the lock
>me runs down stairs to my dads car, enter and tells to leave
>thank god he left quickly.
I really had a good feeling when I saw her chasing our car as we left, but not fast enough to get to it.

O.O

holy fuck that's a weird fetish

oh god

Guess there are a lot of you fags around who can only get off by being humiliated

Yeah. I can tell by the size of the average sissy thread

fuck you my name is chong

I used to say the phrase
>Moose Goose Tities

ALOT
no idea where it came from
Even got sent home from preschool for saying it

>be me
>12 at the time
>used to own a wolf
>i would hide in the bushes and wait for her to find me
>we played this game for a week and she really enjoyed it, at least because she would run around in play mode
>i was hiding and it was kinda hot outside but behind the bush it was cold
>bush was fucking huge and had a big concealed space behind it
>she found me and i didnt want to leave so i sat there kinda just not doing anything
>i rubed her back and she kinda sat on my waist so as a 12yr old i got that tingly dick thing
>she was in heat i guess so i sat up an rubed her butt
>i kinda pulled my pants down and awkwardly started fucking my dog
>i remember it being really hard to do it because i was kinda short for her
>i also remember holding her waist and she turned around and licked my hand
>i also remember having a tough time getting myself in her, she would stay pretty still but i couldnt actually get my dick in her for a bit. But finally pushed in and it was so warm.
>i lost my virginity at 12 to a dog behind a bush

Bump

>be me
>be 11
>Love me super soaker
>Bitch up the street 15
>Has a pool, she seems like a 10/10
>dafuckIknow.png
>Sneak up to pool, gonna soak her with the super soaker
>PumpPumpPump.avi
>Fence to tall
>Can see Between cracks
>See Women laying out
>Get hard on
>Release the Super Soaker over the fence
>She screams, top comes off
>Start pecker pulling
>MFW my dad pulls up and starts Yelling
>user "GET YOU ASS IN HIS CAR RIGHT FUCKING NOW"
>MFW it was her mom that was laying out

I got my ass tore up BAD

even better it was a wolf not a dog.
>smells funny

It was a 75% wolf husky mix named dakota. Im not trying to make anyone believe me, im more ashamed than proud

>be me 12
>Mom's boyfriends younger sister would baby sit me all the time she is like 15 at the time
> One evening she tells younger sister to go play Vidya game while me and her ( let's call her Alex ) go play in the pillow\blanket fort
>"Hey user let's play a game , you will be the my captive and I'll be the evil queen ok?
> I just nodded happily that we were gonna play a new game
>Says I have to fit the part so she goes and gets a scarf from my mom's room and ties my arms up
>Scared but don't stop her
> Alex proceeds to say how Im her slave and that no one will come for me blah blah
> Alex then looks at me " now come here I have an order for my slave
> I just nodded and tried to crawl over
She legit tied my hands behind my back no wiggle room
> Manage to get over to her and she leans down to tell me that she wants me to kiss her
Uhh what girls have qooties ,I was 12 so it was normal
> "Come on user it's for the game , dont be a crybaby"
> I just nod , not wanting to be a wimp or anything so I leaned over and gave her a light peck on the lips
> " No no no user, here let me show you "
> Like a squirt of shit she was on me sticking her tongue in my mouth moaning the entire time
> Me still being tied up couldn't really do much , she had started to dry hump into my leg\crotch area
I didn't realise until years later what she was actually doing
> just as she goes for her shorts we hear the car door close
> She gets up and unties me and gives me a mean look
> " Now we are gonna play some more later , but you gotta keep this a secret or else you mom will get very mad
> I just nod being the dumb kid I am I believed her
This would go on for another year until my mother and Alex's brother broke up

I remember the moment it started too. It was my first orgasm.
>I had (pic related) Jurassic Park T-rex when I was a kid
>It was my favorite toy at the time
>It roared when you squeezed it's rib
>One day, squeezed rib and rib got stuck
>It wouldn't stop roaring
>I tried desperately to fix it but had minimal knowledge of electronics and general fixing shit
>I just sat there helpless and frustrated while the T-rex that I loved just continued roaring
>I didn't even touch myself and had a mind-blowing orgasm

>25 years later
>Love the idea of being a juicy grasshopper and my ex being a spider/human creature
>I'd voluntarily jump into her web and she'd wrap me up with her pussy web
>I imagine having to watch helplessly as she gets boned by her fuck buddy
>Her pussy juices/his cum mix together and become a powerful venom
>I willingly drink it from her pussy and drink her spit
>She feeds on me and my nutrients enlarge her tits and tighten her pussy and make him wanna bone her even more
>I may have invented a cuck-vore genre because frustration feels amazing
>All because my T-rex broke

sorry
I think it was rick originally but I don't remember how it went

wtf

You know what? I see shit like this, and im glad i lost my virginity to a wolf. I take it all back cause this shit right here is fucking weird.

Hey, you lost your virginity. All i've done is suck an 11 year old's dick

H...how normal are you? Besides the unique fetish

wow your dad's a dick

Too random to be false

>All i've done is suck an 11 year old's dick
Hey son, why don't we take a walk down town..

>not fucking her
>being beta
>realise I'm way more pathetic, as I did that with a guy

Hodges street, hahira georgia. House with a white dock in the back and a weird fruit tree. Yeaaaa...

I thought I was weird. I was so wrong.
>Kinda wants to see cuck-vore porn now

I was twelve , you fucking derp Besides shut got intense at times

That is the weirdest thing in thread. I feel less pathetic. Unfortunately being pathetic gets me off.
feels

I was ten, so it's ok

I still wanted to fuck my male friend at ten. More accurately, be fucked.

nigga u gay

I have a pretty normal life (other than my fetishes).

I have a full-time, well paying job (hospice) and I'm in a stable relationship of almost 4 years with a normal, well-rounded female (I'd never reveal any of my fantasies to her because I know better).

People think I'm a fine young man ...but if they knew I photoshopped my ex into spider pictures (pic related) then I'm sure they'd think otherwise.

How often did you fuck your dog?

I know. That's the worst part. I was turned gay by a 11 year old.

I had a pretty normal childhood, I guess.

wat is that pic

Look at them beef curtains

I used to have a huge Imgur folder of shit I shopped, but ended up deleting it because every now and then I try to be a normie.

Please don't tell me normies legit exist. I'm trying to cope.

POV getting wrapped up by pussy webbing

:(
Normies don't understand

O_O

Looks a billion times better than when we had it youtu.be/Z5E6TYcvsbY
Twice but the time between it was pretty significant, definitely months both times were stressful because i really liked her but i was scared to get caught. I remember it was pretty smooth. I kinda wish i could relive those moments honestly.

Me_irl

Are you still into fucking dogs user?

No comment

There was this one time:
>be me 11
>friend invites a bunch of kids over for his birthday
>parents pull out all of the stops
>rented PS1, N64, loads of games and moves
>everyone is excited
>group of adults are drinking in kitchen
>at one point the mom asks her son "Have you picked your special friend?"
>boy comes up to me and says he can only have one special friend to sleep over
>picks me
>everyone leaves, lights turn off, mom goes upstairs
>he sets me up on couch in the living room
>he lays down on love seat in same living room
>30 mins pass in silence.
>rustling upstairs
>footsteps
>mom is coming downstairs
>think nothing of it
>she walks into living room and kneels down at love seat and begins petting friends forehead
>I hear her whispering and listen very closely
>have trouble hearing but finally make something out
>"Did you save any ice cream for me?"
>"Yeah" he says
>"Where?" she asks
>he points to his crotch.
>I go numb.
>freaking out.
>pretend I'm sleeping while his mom gives him oral and he cums.
>wait 10 minutes. say I'm not feeling good and get the fuck out of there.
>....
>... wonder what she was whispering...
>... wonder why I was the special friend...

>weeks later him an I got in a fight and I told everyone what happened, they moved away soon after.

Ok yeah might as well admit it

You are, aren't you. You can tell us. This is a safe place.

Looks like you are normal. Fucking normies

Chekt mr. Investigator

kek
>be me
>be 4
>ask bitch teachers to let me poo in the loo, i really need to
>they say No
>darn you guys(Fuck never crossed my lips until i was 6)
>run off
>meet ugly2/10
>pull my pants down
>proceed to shit on the side of the playground
>uglyfuturecrackwhore runs off screaming
>they forced me to pick up the shit with gloves and plastic bags
In the end i never truly got my revenge because i ended up picking my shit up, i ended up destroying a little girls sanity, and the teachers never treated me well after that
>mfw years later 14 year old me goes back with grandma, meets this qt10/10 would impreg
>tfw she remembers me as the shit boi
>oh dat whaddup
anyways 4 year old me was dumb