Nothing happens: the movie

sooooooo slow. 2/10

Are you Michael Bay?

It was well acted, written, shot, scored, but it wasn't scary.

>It's an OP start a thread to let everyone know what a pleb he is
Here's a consolation (You)

>OP is incapable of living deliciously

faggot

...

I'm not sure it was supposed to be "scary." Advertising and the actual movies are often different and not done by the same people. It was more a psychological thriller with an emphasis on ambiance than a scary horror movie.

Stance, is it? Good to get to know you. For the short time before I put you on ignore, that is.

ITT: Plebs not understanding the difference between tension and suspense versus BOO SPOOKED YA startling.

The Witch was outstanding. Best horror movie in years, if only from a standpoint that there aren't any fucking BOO SPOOKED YA! jump scares. Jump scares are for idiots.

well to be honest with you i turned it off after 40 minutes. it was just sooo boring
who has time for a movie these days what with the facebook and the youtubes and such

>look at me! I'm a real retard who thinks he's normal and I'm pretending to be retarded! WOOHOO MOONMOON meme right guyz?

>look at me! I' ma real dog who's just running from these crazy Norwegians 'cause it's fun! I'm TOTALLY not just pretending! I won't absorb you! GRAAAGHAHOOooooWaaaaH BLAAGH!

kek

I haven't seen it but if you're pissing on a movie for being slow you're probably too ADHD to be reviewing film/movies.

>No boo sppoked ya scares

Wrong, the witch in the barn.

noice

That's not a SPOOKED YA scare because the camera sits in her for several seconds before she moves. A spooked ya scare is cheap because there is no lead up, the scare is purely in the noise.

I liked Tomasin's butt.

well consider me trolled senpai

The only jump scare was when the father got B L A C K E D.

>Corruption thou art my father
what did he mean by this