Papa John's driver here to divulge all of Papa's Secrets

Papa John's driver here to divulge all of Papa's Secrets
What Papa Questions do you have?

Has there ever been a time when you weren't stoned at work, and if so, what was it like?

Yeah, why is your pizza shit tier?

i used to deliver for them too!

have you or anyone you worked with ever sabotaged an order? i.e. spitting in the wings, stuff like that

It was known as the weed drought of 2005. I had not reuped with my dealer and when he told me he was out i said..........,but how will i deliver pizzas?
and he replied: just smoke spice.
I replied ok.... now I'm a dead in a bed and I'ma real deadish

How much money do I have to offer management to allow me to come in and fuck a triple meat pizza...it has to happen by the ovens and there has to be an audience.

Uh, yeah, can I have two large pepperonis with a couple of sodie pops?

I haven't been stoned in front of Papa, but I would get high as fuck and work when I was at Pizza Hut and it was glorious.

Because they make us pop the bubbles.

PIZZA BRO!
FUCK DOMINIGGERS!

My go to thing is to shake the ever loving fuck outta their soda before I get to the door.
It's nearly impossible to blame me for, ruins their fucking night.

Papa cannot be bought this way.

Fuck off, grandpa, I can't work the till.

Is somebody asking for a driveby?

Look, we've tried peaceful coexistence. You guys are our neighbors, after all. But if you want to keep insulting us like that Imma send the Noid down there to take care of business.

Oh, yeah? You think your pile of shit fat ass could fucking catch me just because you've got one of those faggy sharkfins on your roof?
Papa only drives with the best.

Are your ingredients really fresh?

Also, I'm a domino's employee. Hello brethren.

Yeah, they actually are. It's the one claim to fame, but they still taste like shit.
I can't even remember the last time I ate that shit. Must have been more than ten years ago.

I honestly prefer you guys over our pizza. I got tired of our stuff like a month in, no joke. If I decide to get pizza it always comes down to you guys or Marco's. But let's be real here. Marco's is the real MVP amirite

Your shop needs to step it up, then. Ours is great.

I don't eat fast food 'pizza', I live in New fucking Jersey.
There's a pizza place every other block.

Who's Papa John?

It's not the service, although that is lacking too. It's the taste. I think after a while it just got old and I can't stand it now. Although once in a while I'm fat as fuck and I'll eat the cookie brownies and some extra cheese pizza. Cheese is gr8

>he hasn't heard of Papa

What's the biggest dick you ever sucked for crack?

Papa johns was my first job. I make as much as a of a papa johns general manager as a security gaurd.

like 3 inches, not trying to brag though

Why does your pizza taste like shit

Cause the standards are shit. They're more concerned with how a cartoon pizza would look like in real life, than how people actually want them. (With bubbles and less sauce, for one.)

We have a fucking pizza protractor thing you put over the pizza with all kinda angles and shit to make sure the pizza looks right.
Shit's stupid.

It must be something. Ingredients are supposed to be standardized across the company. Flavor should be consistent.

Dude same at domino's. There's a "perfect" way to make a pizza. Very true, it's all about aesthetics.

DRIVER OUT; 2 DRINKS!
also i fucked my manager working there; then she got fired for putting a customer on hold for 10 min. until the store closed

And I'm sure it is.. I got tired of the taste. It's not that I'm saying they're garbage, I just got tired of it. That's really it.

>pizza protractor

"flavor"...stop, yer killing me

>DRIVER OUT; 2 DRINKS!
This shit triggers the fuck outta me, I'm so glad our store is run by a manager who doesn't give a fuck, and a bunch of kids and we don't do that shit.
Any kind of 'scripting' makes me wanna puke.

a chicken pizza from my local papa johns almost killed me. was pissing out of my ass for a week.

I dunno, I like saucy pizza.

>Pineapple and jalapenos everytime
>awww yeah

Nothing should go on pizza but cheese.
Plain cheese or white pizza are the only acceptable orders.