What do life and a girl have in common?

What do life and a girl have in common?
They're both a bitch.
Thank you! I'll be here all night

The younger the better.

ha ha ha *claps loudly*

Why can't zoo animals take tests?

'Cause there are too many cheetahs!

stop

Thank you! You've all been wonderful!

Now slow down. This is Bill Burr, surely this is the first part of an excellent joke.

The government is crazy, am I right? I'm very angry about women as well. Thanks for watching.

A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.

How do you kill a tranny?

Don't shift.

Fuck you, you had a chance!

The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"

knock, knock

...

I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day!

At this hour?

...

fun sponge.

Nobody knows who I am.

Please, kill me.

"Fun sponge" who?

Me first. Also checked.

Dubs all around.

Best bread ever