First of all,I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes for english is not my...

First of all,I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes for english is not my.mother tongue and deeply thank any feedback from anons who read this post.

I'm really fucked up in the head Sup Forums, I don't know, I need help. I got a family who cares, every member alive, mother lives around, so does grandpa, who is retired policemen colonel. I can't stop selfloathing and selfjudgment, my mind thinks too much, heavy, burden thoughts and more than often I have a negative outlook to all things in live. I concluded that if we have that mindset, deception becomes more bearable, but it's getting into my heart. I'm contemplating suicide. I am the autist type. Got raised on my mom's basement and can't hardly live in society, but I manage. I try to study, even though my colleagues have NO IDEA what they're doing and the world is falling apart and only I can see it. I want to go to medschool. It would make everyone happy including myself. I feel like no one understands me, and it's not your generic Teenage girl (no im no grill) rant, but really its hard to find anyone to have a conversation that empties my mind, full of observations. It's growing inaide my heart. On the other hand, I can see nothing but suffering and keep deconstructing concepts in my head to the point that just makes society a FUCKING MYSTERY. WHY do they do what they do so blindly? Anyway Sup Forums, from this brief description, might I be sick? Might I be crazy? Can i fix myself, or suicide is really the only way out? If so, if anyday I decide to end this, I swear I'll stream it here.

Wish you all the good.
Inb4 kill yourselF
Inb4 you got it all easy
Inb4 man up

pussy

couldnt be arsed reading

Nice new pasta

Fixed that pic for you

Tl:dr, do it.

It's no pasta and I can't do it yet, mother loves me and it would kill her too.

Then get yourself a gun, kill her, kill as many as you can, and SBC

Sup Forums, and esecially /b will not be the right place to talk with intelligent and constructive people.

To be happy, their is one thing you must know; you can't always get what you want (what a good song). But you seem to be a quite intersting guy and I'm disposed to talk a bit more with you.

'want it ?

*there

english is not my mother tongue to

*too

fuck

It's an option. I want to know another, that's just too easy and its my Card up the sleeve. I need to stay alive.

How can I contact you?

kill yourselF
you got it all easy
man up

I'll give you a temporary mail adress. I trust nobody on Sup Forums even if it is for me the best and the worst of internet.
'll do this in a few minutes. Get ready

Português ou Brasileiro ?

[email protected]

Vai tomar no cu caralho, e me ajuda

bread

stop taking medications

and start medicating (smoking mary jane)
take some mdma and let all your feelings poor out

i wish you all the good as well

nice titty dubs

Não sei oque posso fazer para te ajudar. Pelo email que você postou assumo que é de Portugal, então não tenho como te contatar. Mas se posso te dar um conselho ele seria: arranje amigos e pare de pensar nos problemas da vida.

I can't trust anyone either, and can't make fake e-mail addresses. Is there any online instant messaging service?

Search for a temporary email maker

I already tried weed and LSD. Never let any feelings out though, just got bad trips and depressing highs

Ok hear me out OP, I ll make a statement then ask a few questions about you.

First of all, there are (many) people like you including myself etc. The thing is I still manage to be happy by just forgetting that the human race is going to disappear (or at least how we know it) in a few hundred years and yes I know that seems a bit far fetched but by finding things to do like new hobbies, sports, working out, eating better you actually release more dopamine constantly (which basically makes you happy) and makes you comfortable in a social environment as a bonus.

Now a few question:
Are you good looking? (Serious question)
What is your personnality? From what I ve heard it's INTP (do a 16 personnalities test)
I assume you're underage? Nevermind that you don't have to answer

That's pretty much it

Caralho, não era pra ter postado com e-mail. Mano, eu não tenho dinheiro pra fazer amigos, e nem lábia tbm não. Todos os colegas que tive foram vagabundos drogados.

Society and a few girls from my school consider me good looking.
No, I'm 18 - INTP. And I dont like it. Did the test like a hundred times. I should try and do so, eat better and whatnot. but have you considered we're dying anyway? Nothing is permanent and it doesn't matter, I keep hoping to get hit by a car or something.

Não se precisa de dinheiro para se ter amigos, nem de lábia. Amizade é algo que acontece, apenas tente, funcionou para mim. E outra, boa parte dos jovens usam drogas, é difícil encontrar os que não usao.

ay bro when was the last time you went for a jog and just enjoyed the scenery? The world is beautiful so don't let others stop you from enjoying life. Stop caring so much, I wish I could tell you to stop overreacting but it's hard to do that online. I wish you good luck Sup Forumsrother

Well. First of all, your English is better than mine. I'm dutch by the way. Second, I had the same thing. I only saw the fucked up shit in the world and felt like I was the only one.
I started smoking pot with a friend, and we have the best conversations ever. We talk about everything in the world and I came to find out that I wasn't the only one thinking like that. I also tried shrooms, which changed my life. I don't know why, but I'm just so much more grateful for everything? It sounds stupid, can't really explain it.
I'm not saying you should try drugs to make all the problems go away, just try to look at things from another angle.

Hahaha ok I don't know why but this made me laugh, yes I ve obviously considered all of us being absolutely insignificant and useless.
So indeed what I ve said about being happy will seem trivial to you and me too but some part of me still wants to be happy you know... I think I d be lying if I said I was as far in as you because I still have little experience in life but I still understand myself pretty well now, asking myself all these questions (well that's our personnality type) that apparently haunt you

Pode crer... Tentarei
Thanks brother for the kind words.
And that is also temporary. All of the symbols, the words you Said, they're whispers of nothing, in the end, you're just lost - death is the only God that comes when you call.

Another aspiring medfag here, it sounds like the stress is catching up to you. Good news is that you're aware of it and trying to deal with it.

How's your sleep schedule? Still talking to people? When I'm overwhelmed with bad thoughts it usually boils down to one of those things. Mental health is a tricky thing since it's your mind that's lying to you; things aren't as bad as you think they are, so once your brains chemistry's back on track, you'll feel like yourself again.

Unless something traumatic just happened to you, you might be sick, but it's not something worth killing yourself over. Share it with your family (they're there for you) and consider psychiatric help. I never tried therapy, since I usually snapped out of it on my own but seeing the doctor probably the best option.

Best of luck, user.

Well, if you gotta be such an emo kid about it. Lighten the fuck up. The only one responsible for your own happiness is you.

Glad I made you laugh. Making people happy at least for a while still lights up shimmers of something good inside me.

Tl;dr
Kys
Livestream it

I have the same problems. Analytical minds are hard to find, so difficult in fact that we are considered weird or strange. Think Edgar Allan Poe, Walt Whitman, Rasputin, Andy Warhol. All are misunderstood, the only answer for all of them in their writings or artwork was to kill themselves. None of them did it because they recognized their higher thinking. Just think brother. Do what you want to do.

Fucking talk to a therapist, jesus.

I was wondering about seeing a doctor. will seek psychiatric help. Thanks for the rational and sound advice. I've also always snapped out of therapists.