Mormons keep trying to break into my house...

Mormons keep trying to break into my house. Literally I watch them ring my door bell then they open my storm door and try to wiggle the handle and get in. Isn't this shit illegal? Can I shoot them if they enter my house?

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hello? bump

never thought i'd say it, but in this situation the mormons arent the creepy ones. if they do it again call the police and tame your fucking murderboner, freak.

In america you can shoot those niggers. Here in canada i couldent even hit them if they broke in

mormon detected

bump

I don't know which I would prefer, to be honest.

If they're Mormon their parents are probably rich and would sue the shit out of you
I wouldn't risk it OP

Castle laws don't exist in every state. And no in canada we can only hurt them if they attempt to harm us first. If you harm them for being in your home or try to detain them you will be arrested and charged.

Unlikely you'd be okay to shoot them, but it does depend on which state you live in. Where do you live OP?

Yes, if they enter your home without permission you can use deadly force.

kansas. i wouldn't shoot them but I would probably smack them with a baseball bat at minimum

>State pending

Its all within reason really. I know i guy who beat the living shit out of an intruder and got jailed for it. Its fucking silly here

I can and will here in Texas

Same user here. Like i just took the non restricted corse last week and they tell you that if you use your firearm you will be jailed in any circumstance.

Just leave beer cans around, works on the Mormons here in Cali.

>answer door with weapon in hand
>look very pissed
>the fuck do you assholes want?
>never get bothered again

Then what's the point of having it?

this is probably a good idea. they've been harassing me for years

put up a big ass sign on your door saying no soliciting

next time they knock on your door after you put up the sign call the cops, tell them mormons are harassing you and you put up a no soliciting sign.

Make a pit-fall trap about 7ft deep just outside your front door so when they come back you can trap them and use them as sex slaves for their little mormon boipussi's. Then profit.

Don't do that because they can sue for the injuries sustained.

>6 weeks pass
>mormons have their transfer
>new googly eyed mormon bastards arrive in town
>don't know about the gun thing
>knock on door
>repeat ad nauseam

that won't work op. the mormons trade areas every 6 weeks-6 months. at BEST it will buy you a year, if it was a really horrifying story and the dumb bastards warn other missionaries about you. but after a year it'll be all new fresh faces and you'll have to do that again

About 15 years ago I was in the 7th grade and was home from school with strep throat. I was up in my room trying to sleep. My parents were both working and my aunt was keeping an eye on me. She stepped out for maybe 15 minutes to go get me some things from the store and during this time 2 Jehovah witnesses "both women" came by. They literally spent 3 minutes knocking and ringing the door bell. Then they went to the back of the house and walked right in. My dog started barking and I reluctantly went downstairs to see what the commotion was. I walked into the kitchen and they were both at my kitchen table. I was just in my boxers. And they looked at each other and said hello. And asked why I wasn't in school. Anti told them I was sick and asked why they were in my house. They said the door was unlocked. And asked if my parents were home. Just then my aunt came back with a look off disdain on her face. She asked if she could help them? And I told her they just walked in. She glared at them and asked if they could please leave. They then tried to talk to her about their shitty religion. And my aunt threatened to call the cops since they essentially broke and entered. They got a panicked look on their face and got up and left. And they snappily said hope you feel better, to me. After that day if I was home alone I made sure both doors were locked.

they try to convert people on the bus where I live. I just make fun of them calling them bus mormons and pointing out their little tucked in shirts.

is it against their religion to hit me?

I live in utah.. Mormon fucking central.. If they try this shit at my place i might make one get on there knees and demand some head lol

Think of creative ways to fuck with them each time they knock

Post proof

????


profit

they won't hit you or they'll get in trouble

>get drunk
>forget about pitfall
>fall in
>break a testicle

OP the only real answer is to put up a no soliciting sign. Mention no FUCKING mormons specifically

if they then knock on your door, quickly call the cops and quietly and tell them the mormons were trespassing.

It's the only thing that will work. Unfortunately you live in an area where the retards go "tracting" so you're going to just have to deal with it. Or find out where they live and constantly harass them until the mission president pulls them out of your area.

Not if its a "Stand your ground" state. See: Trayvon Martin

Oh yeah for a fire arm assult. What I meant was if he attacks you can attack jim back with in grounds of self defense of yourself or another.

find out where those fuckers live

throw a brick with a threatening letter on it through their window, letter must be profane and racist against whatever race they are and must include death threats

repeat as needed

enjoy no more mormons

crack their skulls. duh.

>be me
> hungover from drinking night before
> dingdongdingdongdingdong
>fucking doorbell won't stop going off
> go downstairs open door to see what the fuck is going on
>fucking Mormons
>"Hi we're from the church of..."
>"No no no no fuck no not inerested fuck off!"
>"But we have this book"
>"I got books too I don't need yours fuck off"
>go to close door
>fucker pushes his foot into my house to stop me
>forces the book at me repeating the same stupid shit
>fuckthis.jpg
>take book
>take zippo
>light book on fire in front of them
>light cigarette with book
>toss flaming book back to them
>give them a "Hail Satan" before closing the door
>never see Mormons around my house again.

Buy some road flares, and pull the end caps off of them and put some bell wire into them. Run wires all over the place and run one end into an electronic egg timer.

Attach said apparatus to a belt or some other garment.

Now you just wait.....

The next time you see them working the neighborhood, but on the above apparatus and when the knock on the door, open the door wide, and yell "Allah Akbar" and then smile with a maniacal look on your face. If they run chase them.....

Trust me, they won't come back.

>implying it wouldn't be worth it.

Fucking normie

mormon radar is tingling

hey texasbro

>itt things that didn't happen

Rule number one of home defense: kill the bastard so they won't be alive to sue you

Depends on the state. Here in South Dakota you sure as fuck can. Few years back drunk guy pounding on door. user comes to inside door and warns he has gun. Drunk guy ignores and breaks screen door. user shouts to leave and that he has a gun. Drunk guy breaks inside door and user shoots and kills him. user was never charged with a crime.

I remember when they came to my apartment when I was in college.

I put a porn on the TV and turned it up really loud and asked them if they wanted to join me, and jerk off with me.

They abruptly left, and the troubled look on their faces was priceless.

If you were in Texas you would have already broken the law by not shooting them

you think thats bad?
mormons keep writing numbers throughout my house.
every day i wake up and find one in a new place.
they are counting down to 0.
i don't know what the mormons will do when they reach 0 but i am scared

lmao

do something like this op

KEK
underated post

Here in Colorado you can.

It's called the Castle Doctrine if you want to know more.

stop being a little autismo bitch. open the door and tell them you're not interested like a normal fucking person. if you're not a nigger about it, they'll kindly leave.

What you mean. Fuck i would love to shoot someone.

Well here in pa you can shoot them in the back even if they are running away I fucking love this state

Hunting

>itt gutless cowards who think everyone else as afraid of confrontation as they are.

What

what if they said yes?

>dat look on your face when....

HAIL SATAN

NIGGUH, we do not have that here in Colorado. We have "Make My Day". GO FUCKING READ THE LAW

i have. They've even caught me when I'm out getting my mail and I told them I'm not interested. This has been happening for years and I have a no soliciting sign too

call the cops

They aren't soliciting it's almost as bad though

vocaroo.com/i/s1Axabt1P4zM

Wait are they always the same ones?

*tips fedora*

well fuck, idk then. put a crucifix on your door?

Shoot to kill user. They are trespassing if you don't answer the door.

Sacrifice one of their number to the dark gods and hang their desecrated body in your yard.

It's really the only way to get through to these people.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

...

Lamb and or their son named Michael. Grab em from school and then effigy he becomes

that sounds like burglars dressing as missionaries as a cover for entering unlocked unoccupied houses and apartments
>no thinks mormons going door to door is suspicious
>they regularly go into other's houses for extended periods of time
>carry backpacks so what they steal is concealed when leaving

op where do you live? mormon here, i can contact the mission president. i will do what it takes to make them stop

just tell me what city you live in, that's enough

Seems plausible.

Hand an upside down star and have some candles by the door with a picture of Mormons

my first thought at the 'try to wiggle handle to get in'

...this is a good thought.

have some real mormons standing by to question the ones that roll up on the house to see if they are fakes or not

>Think of creative ways to fuck with them each time they knock
this

If you pull down your pants and wiggle clap your ass at them they'll run and not come back trust me

>threatening them
>answering the door naked
>propositioning them for sex
>asking for their area leader's number, calling him and telling him that you do not want missionaries knocking on your door
while the individual missionaries rotate out quite frequently they have an older guy that is in charge of all the missionaries in an area
he keeps a "do not knock" list of any house that does the above

They're probably fakes, you could get their names and report to police or their mission president

flim-flam

>Castle laws don't exist in every state
That is false

let them in

offer them water

come back in a bathrobe and with some wine

offer the wine

ask them if they've ever had a mmm threesome

Samefag

If you really want to get rid of them
> put a sign at your door or on your lawn. NO MORMONS beware the dogs
> proceed to buy said dogs, pretty sure they can't be charged for attacking an intruder.

Actually the mission supervisor would add you to a obstacles of places to never go again. Returned missionary and ex mormon here

If your in the US then yes if someone that is uninvited enters your house you can legally shoot them but make sure the firearm you are gonna use is legal and your allowed to have it. if not then just stab em.

>Can I shoot them if they enter my house?
depends on the law where you live. where i live i could. wouldn't have to, them and the jehovah witness fuckers are scared to death of dogs. rottweilers and GSD are great for keeping the missionaries away

mormons make me think of the mcpoyles from always sunny idk why

Hail Satin.

To a list. Fucking autocorrect

This faggot is afraid of a couple of Mormons. I bet he'd shit his pants of some black jehova's witnesses came by

>black jehova's witnesses

you mean Niggas 4 Da Lawd

I never went on my mission, but as an ex mormon as well, I can confirm this man is correct.

Depending on your state it may be legal to shoot them for attempted burglary, you can definitely videotape them doing this and report the crime as an attempted home invasion. if you really want to nail them leave the door unlocked and shoot them when they enter your home, to the best of my understanding, it is legal in every state to defend yourself with lethal force against intruders in your home.

>mormons attempting to break in and enter my home

were they black by any chance?

have you ever thought it could be two opportunist thieves in shirts? you should invite them in and ask them really in depth questions about mormonism to find out