Would you?

Would you?

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>GDP of a small country in return for touching a rat with my shoe

I would step on 1.8 billion puppies for 18 billion dollars nigger. Sage

Dumbest question I've ever heard
Someone actually took the time to make that picture.

I would smash it with an oversized steamroller slowly over the course of a year for 18 billion dollars. It would grow as I smashed it, extending its suffering, and all I'd be thinking about is what island I want to buy first.

...

The fuck? I'd genocide every dog on earth for 18 billion

Is there someone out there who wouldnt?

For 18 billion I'd skullfuck a nun to death on live television.

I can't think of anything (other than suicide or self mutilation) I wouldn't do for that kind of payout.

/thread

i would for waaaay less

Would you assassinate the president of the United States for 18 billion dollars?
Think carefully.

no fuck you

You all are whores... I wouldnt harm that innocent puppee for all the money in the world.

You pathetic fucks should be ashamed.

I'd step on my own kids for that kind of money.

nope, rather keep the puppy

I would step on 18 billion puppies for 1 dollar.

Doing that is the same as suicide.

Can I wait until whoever gets elected first? I mean, I'd be doing the world a favor regardless at this point.

18 billion dollars is so astronomically big.

I could literally go and buy an island and import a bunch of third worlders and have them be my slaves forever and I'd still have enough to buy myself literally everything I've ever wanted.

What's that? I couldn't hear you over my private island yacht party.

I would step on that puppy and spin around on one foot for a tenth of that money

wait till Trump is president then kill

18 billion is an absurd amount of money for one person, even for 2016.

To be like the holy papa franku himself,
I'd step on it for free.

This tbh

OMG!!! I just realize i can't do it. Unstead, i will adopt the puppy.

i couldn't spend the money knowing the way i got it

im not sure what the exact amount would be but im pretty sure my "kill level" for the puppy would start at around $5k

I wouldn't. I wouldkeep it instead and have a friend, not a bait.

>gently put foot on puppy
>it counts as stepping
>adopt puppy
>spend my days doing every drug available while fucking strippers

Could I pay someone to do it? Or do I have to do it myself?

The pilgrims tried this with the "united states" and you saw how that turned out...

What does the word "You" mean?

$4k and I'd do it.

For 18 B I'd assassinate every president you fuckers ever had. And so would the secret service asshole who's going to have to read this and decide whether or not I'm a credible threat.

I would kill it just to pay rent

I opt for that over hurting a dog... Soft spot for dogs. But cats can meet genocide for much less

Fuck yes because there's a world of difference between stepping on something and destroying something

Kek, true

But I'm paying them and offering them a chance at making their own country

When I die I wanna be a hero for my country of 10 million hardworking poorfags turned rich fucks

Just a tid bit: cats are 10IQ points smarter than dogs

I like dogs more cuz they're amazing pets, but I want ppl to stop memeing that they're better in every way. To start, dogs are 30% stupider than cats

>b me, getting high with my bros by the canal
>we hear meowing in the bushes, wtf?
>4 kittens look like they were left for dead out here in the middle of nowhere, too young to open their eyes
>we start feeling bad and decide to each take one, 3 dudes, four kittens
>notice one has fire ants crawling on it, they are fucking harvesting this things poor eye, taking turns climbing in and back out of its now empty eye socket
>guess I have to do it
>I stomp on the little tortured kittens head, and it is still alive, it's head just sinks into the mud, I stomp over and over
>my bro brings me the pellet gun and I shoot it once, it's still screaming, I break the cheap buttstock over it, still alive
>I finally shoot it again in the heart and it deflates and goes limp
>still sad about it because I am not a monster
>18 billion dollars you say?

Kek

Understood. Loyalty> shitting inmy house for one thing. And cats who want to be pet, then decide theyre done and bite your hand/attack you. Fuck cats bra

How on earth do you give an IQ test to a cat and dog? How do you discern pattern recognition and logical reasoning abilities with an animal?

why do they fucking normies always make the amount absurd
of fucking course I would

i'd do it for free

>18 billion dollars
>over 80% of total pet food sales per year in us
>approx 170 million dogs and cats owned
step on one puppy or feed 140ish million animals for one year
>or buy a really really big plot of land that you can literally do anything on.

I'd eat 18000 of them for 18b

Excellent point (tokes grav lab helix) thank you. But we can all agree birds are creepy/can gtfo, am i right??

I would do anything for 18 billion if it doesn't involve harming myself in any way.

I don't have the study off the top of my head and admittedly it does have holes in it, but I'm sure if you Google something like "cats vs dog IQ" in Google scholar you'll find it

Great read, I'm finishing my master's in neurology with a focus on animal behavior so a lot of my thesis is influenced by this

>i'll take a ton of money so long as it involves zero risks
fucking pathetic

I hope I never meet you in real life. I bet you could cut me into a billion pieces with that edge of yours

I would do it for like 100 k

That is an extremely broad statement when you compare the difference between a dog like a yorkie or pug to that of a border collie or poodle.
That alone is like a 45 fucking point difference at least.

Cats is cats though.

Filthy Frank sums it up pretty nicely
youtube.com/watch?v=GaGQ3KGOMto

They will cuck you and take your money before you ever have a chance to tell them your plan of being their noble king. Then Jamal tell the tale of how he over threw his evil ruler (you) and liberated his people... until some other nigger stabs him and tries to tell the same story

Yeah, it's a bad idea to try and establish a new country on $18B. It isn't enough. Just go live a life of ease in a stable, safe place.

funniest shit ive seen in a long time

Yeah sorry, I should be way more specific

On average, cats are found within 35-50IQ range with the standard deviation being at 45, and calico spaded cats being the smartest while tabbies are the stupidest

Dogs are found within 20-30IQ, the standard deviation at 24, with German ret crosses being the top and I forget the stupidest

Yes

This guy would

yes

Boy I'd break dance on that nigga

What kind of question is that?

Yes. Infinitely yes.

Yes. It doesn't specify how hard I have to step.

This lol

I've always wanted to do blow off a stripper's ass

As much as I love dogs and puppies, I'd fucking stomp that fucker into mush. I'd turn that puppy into crushed tomatoes, fuck I'd even put in on some pasta and eat that little fucker.

All shit aside, it says step - not kill or murder. So sure, I'd put my foot on a puppy gently enough to push it to the floor for 18 billion dollars.

I would totally step on that pup.
Now keep in mind you didnt say how hard but at any rate I would stomp him to hell then have satan bring him back so I can do it again for 18 billion dollars then erect a huge fucking gold statue the size of the fucking Trump tower to immortalize my pup stomping glory to strike fear into my pup sympathizing enemies.

Donald Trump wouldn't do it because he's a multimillionaire, but he'll still do it anyway.

It's a shame, but yeah you're both right.

In that case I would just gift a million to all my close friends and family and then go buy myself a cruise ship so I could travel where ever the fuck I wanted in luxury

I would step on shove it in my ass and then eat it for 18 million...let alone billion

This has been a really good thread. Took my mind off things for the first time in a few months.

Not thinking is such a good feeling, maybe that's why I drink so much

Thanks guys

I'll step on 18 puppies for 1 billion dollars.

I guess I'd have to OP.

Well i says nowhere u have to kill the dog. I'll just step lightly on the dog, like giving him a pat with my foot

Also fuck u guys u made me search up 3 pics of pasta

Hillary would do it for 18 billion, Trump would do it for free.

Thats the 2016 election in a nut shell

I'd do it for $30.

do you know how much are 18 BILLIONS dollars?
shit nigga, i would change my name to edge lord 9fag for that amount

Kek

I'd step on a baby for 18 billion

Yes.
I would give it a light step because the question doesn't specify if I had to kill it or not.

Shitt I'd do it for $50

That depends.

Is the puppy happy?

Underrated post

It was born on the streets and has been alone, never loved, for its entire (brief) existence.

Would you?

>I would eat the puppy for 1000 bucks
No joke

Try paying your student loans with that bit of kindness that you have there, bud.

light step ftw, now give me my 18 billion.

LMFAO

Id step on a billion puppies for a dollar

You would be an absolute fucking moron to refuse that kind of money to spare a commonplace animal. You could improve the quality of life of literally every other dog on the planet and still never need to work again.

Hell Yeah!! But I don't have 18 billion.

>say yes
>put foot on puppies head
>press down gently
>show idiot the definition of step on
>collect money and take puppy home for some tender vittles
>ball out and get fat with puppy >10/10 model sluts sucking my dick while I play with my phone
>diamond encrusted Louis Vuitton dog collars in multiple colors
>goyard puppy carry case
>Mfw meeting me best thing that ever happened to pupper
>Mfw meeting pupper best thing that ever happened to me
>drive a Maserati monster truck to Starbucks
>crush OP's car on the way there with OP still inside of it
>do it for free
>noragrets.jpg

Such an obvious answer its stupid.
Now, would you crush multiple puppies EVERY DAY for the rest of your life for said amount...
>taking into account you must then kill your mother

youtube.com/watch?v=vFlDLwDChL0

I would then adopt it as a pet and spoil the fuck out of it.

You never said it had to die or be permanately injured you faggot

Damn bro I sat and thought about this for a minute fuck you. I kept imagining all the nice shit and easy whores, but the idea of the puppies head being smashed in and me being responsible would be traumatizing...,.FUCK

Wow I'm sure that 18 billion will definitely help you get bernie elected next time

Me too dude. I don't know what it is I just do not like the idea of animal cruelty at ALL, it seriously bothers me. I was never able to handle scenes in movies where animals were killed I just don't like it. When I see a person die I barely bat an eye it's kind of fucked.