All right, Sup Forums, this is a story about how my house was nearly robbed three years ago.
>be me >15 >parents and sister are out for the day >decide it's a good time to fap. >engage fapping preparations >find video I like >make like a butcher and beat that meat >feelsgoodman.jpeg >30mins later >hear car door slam >fuck off, they can't be home yet >look outside >see two buff men in ski masks >one has a bag, the other a crowbar >they're eyeing up the house >FUCKFUCKFUCK.gif >why me >had to be me >oh fuck, I'm naked >don't want to be seen naked by two grown men >afraid of being held hostage or worse
Justin Reyes
Bumping for interest
Wyatt Cruz
Will probably end up in spaghetti. Bumping.
Jaxon Wright
Bump
Luis Collins
>make like a black man fleeing from the cops >run out the living room to check if door is locked >realise that was retarded, since they have a crowbar. >be retarded and run upstairs without grabbing a phone >running up them steps >calories burning >dong flailing >turn to go into my room >hit knee off radiator at like mach 5 speeds >fall into my room face first >panic, get up, slam door, hold breath >maybe I was wrong, maybe they're heading somewhere else >hear front door handle making noise >hear mail slot open up and close a few seconds later >theybepeepingforfolk.png >my heart was beating as fast I was earlier during the fappening
Ayden Gonzalez
Keep going
Oliver Walker
>the next few seconds felt like hours >hear a smash so loud it broke the sound barrier >there goes the door window >hear chain lock rattling, they open that >door was always stubborn, it took force to open it sometimes >hear them struggling to open it >hear another loud crashing noise >found out later that the guy with the crowbar literally kicked it off the hinges >oh fuck, they're in >shitting bricks >naked >can't protect my home >lawd help me
Dylan Sanchez
Bump
Landon Watson
Bumping
Jason Gonzalez
To clarify, the home I used to live in. Two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. Kitchen, living room and parent's bedroom downstairs.
>before my parents left, my mother got her box of jewellery out to put something on >in their haste to leave, she left it sitting on top of the shelf above the TV >this sudden realisation dawns on me >oh fuck, they're going to notice and steal that shit. There's at least a couple grand worth of jewellery in there. >shaking like a Parkinson's patient >can hear faint mumbling >hear "BRO, CHECK THIS!" >I assumed they found the box. >Begin to creep about my room to grab a pair of boxers so I'm not naked
Parker Powell
>ever so slowly open the boxer drawer >remove a pair even slower >shut drawer >turn around >being the clumsy fuck I am, I knocked a can of deodorant off the drawer >shit goes slowmo >I turn to catch it >Miss it by a mile >shit hits the radiator in my room >CLANGBANG HEREIAM CLANK
Levi Williams
>everything is quiet >like Helen Keller quiet >I hear the sound of running footsteps >they begin to go up the stairs at an unbelievable pace >OHFUCKNO.gif >Run to my door, and put my back to it. >Door handle turns, they push >I push back >I push this shit so hard it closes on one of the guy's hands, forcing him to pullout >door is closed >both begin to run at it >they hit the door >I spring forward, I close it again >they keep pushing >pushing >pushing
James Ortiz
I can see where this is going
Jordan Sanchez
>I had been going to the gym for a while, so I was surprised I held them off for this long >I spoke to soon >I fly forward after they hit it again >Open the door >get on the floor >everyone walk the dinosaur
Carter Gonzalez
And I thoght maybe, just maybe this was going somewhere
Brody Lewis
Not OP: how about I told you the story of the time I almost got assaulted and robbed in broad daylight?
Isaiah Roberts
Go for it.
Gavin Barnes
Sure mate, go on
Kevin Rodriguez
Here I go >be me >a few years back (around 17 yo) >walking back home >Nobody on the street >Except two guys watching me >One of them yells at me >Runs towards me >He pushes me and adopts a fighting stance >"Give me the fucking money"
Isaiah Jenkins
>Suddently realize I'm about to get robbed, and probably beaten up >Ohshitohfuckwhatthefuckishappening.jpg >Guy keeps pushing me >I quickly say the guy to chill >"I have no money. I forgot my wallet home" >Obvious lie >Guy repeats "The fuck? Give me the money!" >Tell the guy "Wait, wait. I told you I forgot my wallet home. I have no money" >I keep telling him to chill.
Angel Stewart
>Guy suddently lowers his arms and go back to his pal >His pal just stood a few meters back behind me, watching >I wait a few moments, expecting them to attack me from behind >Slowly turn my head: they are leaving >I resume walking >The whole thing lasted less than 15 seconds >A few minutes later, I suddently realize I just barely escaped assault and theft unharmed >Still have my wallet in my pocket >mfw
Ian Clark
That's it. I never got robbed or assaulted since then. That's for the better.
Isaiah Jackson
T.T
Austin Jones
>Went downstairs to find two windows broken in basement den >neither opened >nothing stolen, looks like they didn't get in >story over