Alright Sup Forumsros, I'm back. Any of you guys know if this fucker is dangerous...

Alright Sup Forumsros, I'm back. Any of you guys know if this fucker is dangerous? My brother thinks it's an orb weaver but it isn't anything I know to be local to the Midwest US

Its moving. Its a spider. Therefore, it can potentially hurt/kill/rape you. beat it to the punch and hurt/kill/rape it before it does the same to you. This is a cold cruel world, there is no room for mercy, because in the game of life, you either win or you die.

Fuck that spider up

looks a little like a wolf spider. take more pics, from different angles.

slap its shit a little and see what happens

KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

eat it alive and find out

post pics when delivered

My friend ate a spider like that one time or atleast the size of it. You should be fine

Looks like a pecan sandlewood derby spider native to Midwest US specifically. It can kill an elephant with it's venom or give people AVM. Kill it before it (possibly) kills you

eat it

Ah yes it's August. The "Spider month" I look forward to when every tree has a huge spider web with spider babies everywhere.

who the fuck cares if its dangerous? Its trespassing on your property. Give it a verbal warning, and if it does not comply, use force to escort him off your property. If he resists, use the force necessary to subdue him, even if that is deadly force.

It's not an orb weaver. If it's outside let it be they are very useful to have hanging around your house. If it's inside capture it and release it in your front yard and it will find a new home somewhere outside your house.

Wait for that little bitch to cpull out the phone a check his spider ass Facebook status...then stab him from behind

1 shove up butt

2 analyze and report

3 determine generousness

4 ?

5 profit

Let it crawl on your penis.

Also, pics.

Do the universal edibility test on it to see if it's dangerous

stick it in your urethra. I hear they offer a wide range of sensations hard to replicate

...

>pecan sandlewood derby spider
Did Google. Damn.

Feed him eggs. He'll get gassy and shy about it and he'll leave. O, and dont use over easy eggs its more complicating than putting scrambled eggs in a web.

Not a wolf spider. They don't make high webs. They mostly make ground webs

OP, That spider isn't poisonous to humans. Keep him as a spiderbro. Feed him moths n'shit. He'll protect you from other bugs.

Not a wolf spider

Do you know what kind it is? Can I high five it?

>keep him as spider bro
This nigga tryna get you killed.

This nigga is a pussy and scared of spiders.

...

Thats a obviously a daddy long legs u dumb ass hole

>not knowing spiderbro

Definitley dangerous

Nope, not a wolf spider.

KILL IT NOW

oh shit