Hey Sup Forums...

Hey Sup Forums, I'm a male user who has been roaming the internet for a while and is constantly met with people who claim anal stimulation feels good and makes masturbation better. I am here to say from experience that this in not true!
>be me
>be curios about anal
>grabs zucchini and carves end into dildo
>pushes in ass while faping
>hurtslikehell.jpg
>dick goes limp
>pulls out
>blood and diarrhea fucking everywhere
>wtf
>didn't cum that day
>continues to see blood in toilet for 3 days
To anyone curious about anal save yourself the trouble of feeling like a fagot and DON'T DO IT!
pic related (it's not me tho)

Its like cleaning your ear with a cotton swab.
If you sucking shove it in badly, you're gonna get fucked up.

Dont be shit at it next time.

I haven't put a zucchini in my ass and I still know that either you're doing it wrong, or there is something wrong with your body. Maybe don't get jacked on coke and roids before strongarming a vegetable up your stovepipe?

>Based on an experiment that I did with my asshole and a zucchini, I can conclude that anal stimulation is a lie, and it leads to discomfort followed by diarrhea.

You solved the riddle. Gay guys everywhere are just pretending it feels good to get railed, and then they spend the rest of their week shitting blood.

Your name and address would be helpful to me, as I plan to nominate you for the next peace prize.

I was pretty gentle putting it in there. My point is that it didn't feel good at all and a poop hole isn't meant to have something go up it.

Hank speaks the truth, tough I'm not retarded enough to give away my address.

You should probably try pooping before and getting an enema, and don't try getting a zucchini up your ass. It's better when you try thinner things at first. I've done it with tooth brushes, markers and my fingers of course. It feels really great if you take it easy. Try again.
Btw, use any kind of lube, soap works fine

I used lube and started with my fingers but didn't hardly feel anything. It was like pooping but more uncomfortable so I figured I needed to try something bigger.
ps im pretty sure soap would fuck up my ass hole way more than lotion

>use tons of water based lube
>use something thats actually designed to be stuffed into an asshole
>realize prostate orgasms are extremely intense and pleasurable

homosexuality is sadomasochism

kek'd unbelievably hard

there is no such thing as a prostate orgasm
there is only one kind of orgasm and it has nothing to do with the hole you shit out of

This is the gayest shit I've seen on here all night.

Op talks to friend day after:

>friend: hey man your walking kinda funny, you ok?
>op: no I shoved a giant zucchini up my ass and now I cannot stop shitting blood.
>friend: you, wha....
>op: well I wanted to see if it would feel good, and you know what I think I'm going to stick to sucking loads of dicks.
>friend: if you do not reply to this post you will wake up in the morning with a 12" zucchini inserted in your anus, and shit blood for 3 days staight.

fucking idiots, you have to fast and douche and lube up, you can't just go all gung-ho

It's all a matter of training. Use smalö objects first. It doesnd have to feel good, you got to accomodate to the size. Then make it bigger, but not till it really hurts. After some days you will be able to have the greatedt orgasms ever while you jack of.

brilliant meme user!

this

This coming from someone who has not had a prostate orgasam

op here this made me kek
Despite the fact Ive never been attracted to man, ever since the incident I've felt like a fag with down syndrome and deeply regret even trying it.

You have Down syndrome the way you describe it, but you are only gay if you fuck/want to fuck a man. You don't so you ain't.

Op is ok. We all make mistakes, at least yours was privately done, with a zucchini - and not with Terry the homosexual black man down the street, who secretly video tapes all of his encounters and posts them on his website, terryFucksDemWhiteBois com or at least you didn't get it stuck up there and have to get it medically removed and become a meme on this board. So many worse outcomes you know.

Always see the positive in a bad situation, sorry about the bleeding asshole.

looks like someone is butthurt

Best thing to use when you run out of lube?? Go

OP i think this would up your alley no weird dick fruit and you won't need to shit

What is go?

*whilst
SMH

can't tell if newfag to internet or just autistic

the neighbors dog (have you seen the tongues on those labs?)

Did you use lube? Nigga I don't shove shit up my arse but if you went in dry you're going to end up with hemorrhoids.

Heh

>get hungry
>YouTube video, "how to make healthy snack"
>instructions not clear, zucchini stuck up my ass
>consequences will never be the same.

Related best lube for op is obviously ranch dressing, that's how I always get the vegetables to go down or in OP's case up

I used lotion

Did you put the zucchini back when done. The next time someone gives you a bit steaming plate of zucchini will shame and remorse fill your soul or will you put that warm, moist zucchini back inside you?

if i fucked myself with zucchini I'd put it back where it was a little prank

Real op here and i hid that shit an Mcdonalds cup and buried it in the trash. Also all zucchini tastes terrible and I would never eat one.

>eats mcdonalds
>doesn't eat vegetables
Stay Amerifat.

But shoving it up your ass is ok.
Deep fried zucchini is good, also steamed with some butter is nice.

Never tried zucchini Ala Chocolate Fudge with Cherry Syrup but hey we all have different taste buds.

still eat other vegetables plus i have a high metabolism so im not getting fat any time soon I probably would have tried it before the horrible experience but now, not a chance.