Congratulations, you've won a prize - sort of

Congratulations, you've won a prize - sort of.
You can choose between:
Your ideal house - all paid for, no bills, rent or other accommodation cost.
Your dream job - infinite job security, insanely good pay, and flexible hours around you.
Free travel and hotels for any holiday in the world - any time anywhere.

However, if you accept, you must be stuck with this girl for 5 years. She's incredibly desperate for attention, prone to wild mood swings, and publicly acts like a slut to embarrass you - you MUST treat her well, though she will fuck on command.

What do you do? How do you put up with her?

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I shame her and kill myself after a hefty binge.

How often? You don't mind the chub?

Shame her how? And I'll see you on the other side brother

Use her self-image against her and demean her for her inability to get through the day without needing mindsex with a complete stranger to feel pretty or some stupid shit.

Nice, you fuck her too?
What would you say?

Sure 5 years for dream job and good money is a good deal

Torn between house or job. I suppose job gets house, so let's go with that.

Physically, she isn't too bad. She's overweight, but not quite orca levels of blubber. I'd probably hit that.

I could handle the attention with sex.

Mood swings, I'm used to.

As for her acting slutty in public to embarrass me, that's a damn shame for her. I don't really go out in public.

Are we assuming any common interests, or what?

How do you deal with her?

Many common interests, a couple she looks down at you for specifically entertainment-wise, very superficial and shallow.

Well thats depends. She have to be with me all the time? Like if im working and i have to be alone what will she do?

I'd say 'get out ho' and probably fuck but only for fun

I'm unemployed and have no girlfriend. Sign me up.

90% of my interests ARE entertainment. If she tries to change me, that's her problem. In the immortal words of Popeye: I yam what I yam.

Yeah. Sounds do-able.

She will dress in her underwear and walk around like its okay because beach or whatever.

Lounge about the house, pester you with texts until you're home, if you ignore them she'll be moody.

You'd keep her after the 5 years too?

Won't try to change you, just be a bitch about it in general.

Dream job, easy. And that would be owning my own charter jet to fly around the world. Optimally, I would only take flights for places I wanted to go. Due to weight restrictions of planes, and needing to take care of passengers and their luggage, I would not take her with me. I would keep in contact with her as much as possible, but due to international phone charges, even being in the air with no service, it would be minimal. I also wouldn't have much time to be around her for her to embarrass me or to have to deal with mood swings. I'd prob still hit on occasion though.

Fuck how?

My dream job would entail being away on business trips 365 days per year. She can stay at home waiting for me if she likes, not my concern.

Lol

Sure i can reply when i have time. And after getting home i would fuck her asshole eat somethig and go to sleep so no big deal. Sign me up OP. Btw do you have some more photos?

The dream job.

Go on vacation in the woods/another country, have her killed.

Problem solved.

Any specific pics? I don't have many unfortunately

over

Lol

Well shit. Would like to see her asshole

Close enough

I've had people passive-aggressively bitching about me my whole life. Think I can survive 5 more years.

Another pic

She won't be so bad the more you appease her neediness

Yeah can be but post more if u have

...

Then I'll just fuck her when she's needy. Still definitely a manageable 5 years for a lifetime of smooth sailing.

Yes.

How would you fuck her?

Accept the dreamjob and cheat on her constantly

How do you deal with her?

Dreamjob and on-demand sex anyway I want, sounds perfect, and she isn't that bad, I get really needy in relationships and have mood swings too, and since I'm a fat fuck too, maybe convince her to go to the gym together or some shit, could even be manageable after the 5 years

Not bad at all, nice

Take the job I'd like to be a senior VP of any of the top electrical manufacturers, don't want to be a prez, CEO or board member to stressful. fuck that fatty all the time, and try to get her in as many 3 ways/4 ways as I can pull off. I'd have a blast dude.

Are you a relative or something? How do you know her?
You seem to be getting off on imagining how people would fuck her.

Not a relative, I used to know her but she'd tease and lead me on but never fuck me

Nice, man. Her the only girl? You mind the chub??

So why not just lead off with "how would you fuck this chick" if that's the goal?

That's less interesting and would get no replies tbh