ITT we pretend we are in an office

ITT we pretend we are in an office

I'd Frick the receptionist

Flick*

why do we have to share the bathroom with the niggers, we need "no blacks allowed" areas

You clearly didn't get the memo HR sent out last week. And where the fuck are those reports??

Also if trips we get twin towered

This isn't the 50s anymore terry. When are you gonna retire?

Goddammit, who stole my tuna on rye again?!?!?

Michael!

we sure are in an office, huh guys?

You know what, that's ok. That was the bait sandwich, enjoy your projectile vomiting and diarrhea fuckwit.

Who touched my waifu poster?

what the fuck are you talking about? this is an office there are no niggers or women working here. I also think you should retire, your senility is getting out of hand.

Okay everybody I have heard some complaints from Sally that somebody is ejaculating in her lunch. Please stop and if you are going to be touching yourself, do it in the bathroom pleae

You know the rules. No modifications to your desk area

She was probably complaining that there wasn't enough jizz in it, she's a fucking slut. I totally did her at the last Christmas party, along with Chuck and Larry.

I'm not going to let a fucking nigger have my job, or a nigger loving faggot like

Uh, yeah. I'm working on those reports.

Don' forget about old black Charlie. Would you like me to clean ya shoes maser?

Sally signed for the first turn for this Friday's bukkake session, so please save your cum for Sally's mouth

Look. I will not deny that she did it with me and I'm a woman but this is still sexual harassment. Would you have any idea who it was?

You better not be on Sup Forums again

The blade.

Well, I can tell you it surely wasn't me...>.>

Fuck the IT guy he cant even fix my make my excel document load fast its only 400mb

Toilets clogged again

If I rape the recepcionist but make her cum it still counts as rape?

I'm kinda low on my rape rate for this semester

I can't help it, it's the pre-workout

Look people I know the fucking server is still down but I can't do anything about it right now, I'm playing Doom.

I did fix that for you, I deleted it.

shes a slut man i dont think you would have to rape her

>Toilets clogged again

SEE?? It's because that filthy nigger old black Charlie, he only eats KFC and watermelon and clogs the shitter every time he uses it

i rebooted my pc 3 times like you said but it still isnt working

Fuckin Charlie and his atomic shits. It's a good thing he's the janitor, huh?

maybe but someone stays in there for hours and gets paid?

Try it again and get back to me in about 3 hours.

WHAT?!!

Hey bill, how's it goin? Anyone else hear a 737?

he just fucking leaves it

> slips a whopee cushion onto someones chair without being in sight
> wait while working on stuff

...

Jim put my things in jello again!

WHY THE FUCK CAN"T THE PRINTER EVER WORK WHEN I HAVE TO PRINT OUT MY FUCKING R37-BTs!!!!!???????

Oh and don't forget to submit that support ticket.

What board are you on? If it's not NSFW you can stay on it as long as you also do your work

I thought it was overheating so i put water on it to cool it off

Fucking Charlie....

Fuck your jelly

I hadn't realized so many of you didn't need your positions. and here I sat worried about downsizing.
This user log sure will make the meeting Monday a lot easier.
I'd like to see you in my office

Let me update adobe reader

Right, I'll sort that tit out.

JIM, PACK YOUR SHIT UP, YOU'RE FIRED!

fuck off asswipe go kill yourself, gonna go masturbate.

i forgot my password to open a ticket make one for me

Hey everybody calm down, this is Bob from security I don't want to cause panic but we have a nigger alarm

This is not a test, this is a real nigger alarm, please proceed with the nigger situation plan

I'll be in the bathroom with my laptop, don't disturb me.

Who is playing porn on their pc? Can you play it louder, its hard to masturbate quietly and stealthily with that being quiet

im scared

Guys, someone needs to put more toner in the printer. I need to print out this week's schedule and it's the only printer in the office.

Security, escort this gentleman out please

who the fuck are you?

Well I don't know why it's not working now then, that totally should've fixed it. You're going to have to submit another support ticket for it I'm afraid. It'll be next Thursday before I can look at it tho.

its on fire now does that raise the priority?

It want me I gots ta use a bucket in the basement maser

Has HR decided when the meeting for this week is? I need to now which day it is so I can plan my vacation to Cleveland, Ohio

Yeah I just got the support ticket for the printer like last week. It's going to be next Thursday before I can look at it. In the mean time submit another ticket and I'll see if I can't get it escalated.

I don't care if the fukin build has to get delivered tomorrow, fallout shelter is looking like crap. Fix those art bugs

NIGGEEERSS !!!!!!!

I'm going with this guy with my laptop, and... Don't disturb me too

we have weekly meetings am i in trouble for not going no one tells me anything

Winrar. We just got towered

Hey, when you get a minute, can I talk to you? My gameboy emulator keeps freezing and it's a REALLY slow day

Use the IT guys printer

Your going to have to talk to hr about resetting your password. Then they'll have to submit a support ticket. But I'll tell you know i'm really backed up and I probably won't get to look at it until next Thursday.backed up

Don't worry, it's only for supervisors and office directors.

Friday at 2 I heard

5$ and I'll take a picture or my ass via copy machine and put it on boss's desk

hey guys im the new intern! ill do the best i can!

you gota reboot 3 times like he ways says dumbass

Right on that bos........he put all the guns and keys in Jello


MICHAEL

You know that big mahognoy door that past reception? The one that says "Director"? Has the window with the shades half drawn. Suited man usually making calls? Or in meetings. You know, the one man on this floor you should know.

Herro Tom, dee supavizor tol' me dat you need help rearning how to use git. I cum halp u nao, but I onlay gote 9 meenutz.

do it yourself im in my lunch time

That explains the screams I was hearing in the building

>Fuck I have to complete my time card.
>That butch better approve my PTO.
>Performane review is near guess I better start kissing ass
>I really hate these murhafuckas. Oh uh, morning Mike how was your weekend?

Office thoughts

He always keeps his room locked and I don't like the way he hides in there all day watching his weird shows with little girls

What are you talking about?

Sorry I am really backed up, you're going to have to submit a support ticket for me to come to your office. And I'll go ahead and tell you, I'm really backed up so it'll probably bee next Thursday before I can respond.

Ok, man, thanks. I love me some Mario Land

You two better not jerk each other off

timecards? this aint the 80s

Good afllternoon people
I am mohammad the administrator and this is my beefcake security team
This company is being bought out in a hostile take over by isis to be turned into a mosque
You may take your wallet and keys, anyone resisting will be beheaded
Now get the fuck out

GUYS! I need you to sign for the sexual harassment seminar I want everyone to be a master at harassing women

IT, I think one of the niggers has gotten into my computer. Can you reset the password please?

The real Michael

Make sure there are separate tickets for each of these things, ok? But I'll tell ya i'm really backed up so it'll probably be next Thursday before I can answer the tickets.

Stop fucking using my stapler, Janice. God damn whore.

Oh, you're the office director's receptionist?
I was always told you looked like a bitch, but fuck man, get it together

> still waiting
> quickly assume it was Jims seat
> stealthily moves it to another seat

go help the IT guy he seems real damn busy

Sorry I can't hear you over the sound of you sucking cock filthy nigger loving jew

You can't use my printer, it's password protected and I don't even have it on the network.

Shut up Moe, you have a report due at 7