Most fucked up stories GOOOO

Most fucked up stories GOOOO

I fukd a girl once
Came on face
Told her to leave

I listen to vaporwave unironically and genuinely like it.

I'm too afraid to ask a drug dealer for weed
so I've been re-vaping the same 1/8th for the last 7 months

I also jergged off once

You vape weed? that is really fucked up

That's pussy shit.

Why don't you share before you talk shite

bump

Coworker was into me but I didn't reciprocate, for a lot of reasons. For two months she tries to get it, but I brush her off. Had to be gentle about it though, cuz I didn't want things to go to shit at work.

Office New Years Party. When it ends, we're both fucked up. She says she knew she'd be no good to drive, so she got a hotel room ahead of time; do I want to stay? So I make a huge mistake and say yes. I don't want to do this but can't think of any way to back out. We go to her room; we fuck; we fall asleep. She's happy cuz she thinks she finally got her way.

Middle of the night I wake up. I'd been dreaming about fucking my last gf, who'd dumped me, and I was horny and angry. And meanwhile I've got a willing cumdump next to me to take my anger out on. So I roll on top and push inside of her; she wakes up about three strokes in and urges me on. My ex was into choking. I put my hands on this girl's throat and her eyes go wide with fear. She puts her hands on mine, tries to force me off for a bit, then relaxes and wraps her legs around my waist and lets me choke her.

When I'm ready I pull out and cum on her face. We're both gasping, trying to catch our breath, with my load dripping over her. Without a word she gets up and goes to the bathroom to clean off. And I realize I'm not done. I follow her into the bathroom where she's wiping mascara and blush and jizz off her face with a washcloth. She's looking in the mirror and looks a bit frightened but when I step behind her she spreads her legs. We stare at each other in the mirror while I fuck her.

Then I pull out and put it in her ass, unlubed. She's trying not to cry while I force it in her, but by the time I cum she's stifling sobs. I wipe my dick off and go back to bed. She joins me after a shower.

She thought we'd date after that but I kept pushing her away. Finally flat out told her it wouldn't happen, and she quit her job and moved to another state to start over.

THAT's how you fuck someone up.

no shame, im on the same boat
You sound like a pussy bro. man up and get high l

Lol wut. You can't even get high doing that

There's a house on the corner of my street with a brick wall around it and a brick garden box. One brick came loose so I took it home. After that I got a taste for bricks. I loosened many bricks and took them home with me. His garden box wall is a level lower and the pillars on his wall are getting lower.

Pic related it's a few of the bricks. I can't find the rest.

wait.... a taste for bricks? What do you do with them user?

Nothing. I just like taking his bricks. I was drunk one night and took 2 bricks, I was on a bike and they weighed me down. I ended up putting my foot in the spokes and going down hard, buckled thr wheel and broke 3 spokes. Gained 2 bricks that night though. He's got a dog now but by the time he starts barking I've got a brick and I slip off into the night.

Crummmble them up in a big bowl, add milk and sugar, and eat for breakfast

I found a few more lying around

More

Found a few more

Dude what the fuck you're like the opposite of trump

Bricktheif for President

Nah, Trump promises a wall but won't deliver. This dude's actually -doing- something.

To the victor go the spoils.

All hail Bricktheif

I take wood too.

Somebody make one of those shitty epic thread image macros from this glorious wizard
I'll even post a "reaction image" to help

Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.

Top kek

I am building your wall.

OK, sweetie.

I'm just always surprised. Some motherfuckers like to watch granny porn and you're just obsessed with your neighbour's bricks. Can you draw a dick with them ?

I have run out of bricks, but unlike other candidates, I act first and talk second.

can you please time stamp i think this could be epic bob the builder.....you just steal bricks does he know?

Ok

...

...

As if there was ever any doubt

To the moon

Are you a legit autist?
Why would he need to timestamp?

...

Thanks. Please keep us updated on the brick thief status Bob.

I think that's why his house is on the market and he got a dog. The dogs starts up but I slink away like a cat in the night. Nabbed me some wood on the way back from brick job one night too.

top kek .... have you almost been caught before?

why didnt you date her lol, at least keep her around for a fuck buddy or something, damn

...

This motherfucker just chilling with bricks

Because honestly I wasn't attracted to her, at all. She had fucked up teeth and I found her personality abhorrent--she was one of those Midwesterners who moves to NYC and instantly believe they are "true" New Yorkers, and after she moved out west all she would talk about was how great NYC was and how sad we were. And she sang all the fucking time. AND a whole bunch of other shit, about how desperate she was for a relationship/marriage (she had left her husband, in part, so she could be with me). I got super-tired of being around her at work, no way did I want to be around her in my off hours when I'm trying to destress--even if, frankly, she was a good fuck.

Nah man. I'm suave as fuck in the night.
I fuckung tanked off my bike one night after a good drinking session. Wheel buckled and I was hurt, his dog started going off but my accomplice came back and helped me. Think we got 3 that night.

steel a new brick right now

Ancient relic.

It's the middle of the day brohymn. There's a reason I'm on Sup Forums and not in a Federal Penitentiary.

My sister's a partier; goes out, gets drunk til she can't stand, comes home and blacks out. Several times I fucked her in her bed while she lay there senseless and unaware. One night a friend of mine was staying over and she came home wobbly. I knew it was going to be one of those nights, but I couldn't sneak away without my friend getting suspicious. So I invited him along and we took turns.

nice cat bob
steal brick now or show pic of his lowered wall

He'll see me if I go during the day. I'm a night demo man.

You need a doctor, my friend.

What would you like done with the bricks?

Hmm... spell out "hi"?

can we archive bob the builder? also include me in screen caps

No. (^:

...

Thanks buddy.

hey you a psycho? :D

Nah mate, just like a good hand made brick structure.

Bricks give him the tinglies.

Fuck off mate. I just like stealing the cunts bricks when I'm drunk.

>tfw brix-ET is alive