Anyone else got some REAL embarrassing masturbation/caught fapping stories? I mean REAL bad.
>Be me
>It’s around the year 2010
>I am a horny 14 to 15 year old can’t exactly remember
>I don’t want to remember more than I have to
>Real horny kid, a real fucking horny kid
>At that point I got bored of masturbation and had pretty much done just about everything you could have imagined
>homemade fleshlights, vacuum cleaner, fruit, showerhead, clothing items
>lots of panties I kept stored away at the back of my sock draw along with printed pictures of porn I kept just in case the internet wasn’t working I could have a good old fashioned jerk sesh
>you name it, I had done it
>numerous times
>I had tried every online homemade fleshlight that was possible
>latex glove and sponges, that corn starch thing that barely worked, towels, bubble wrap, water balloons in a bucket
>I got so desperate to fuck a pussy I’d even play a game with my friends where we had to go up to a girl and grope their ass and sometimes their tits and then run away without getting hit
>I always won
>obviously
>became a master pervert
>One day got so bored that I actually purchased a fleshlight online
>one of those ones with the crazy inside ridges and bumps and shit
>Had to wait 2-3 days for delivery and was getting super anxious checking the door constantly making sure I’d be the one to get that package first thing without nobody noticing shit
>got bored while waiting decided to fap with banana peel I had from recently deceased banana I ate
>as I’m schlicking away with this wet banana peel wrapped around my dick I get annoyed that it doesn’t wrap all the away around my penis
>get second banana peel from bin that is also fresh
>wrap it around the otherside my dick is fully coated in banana peel
>with the toilet paper near me I get an idea
>lightbulb.gif
Anyone else got some REAL embarrassing masturbation/caught fapping stories? I mean REAL bad
>push out the cardboard roll and put the two banana peels inside the hole
>squeeze toilet paper to create a tight hole
>have trouble getting my big dicker in and with having to hold the thing together is a nightmare
>grab my two pillows and put the toilet paper banana fleshlight vagina between them and wrap it all together tightly with the only belt that fits me
>get on top of my bed and mount this thing and stick my dick in with a little guidance from my hand
>begin pumping away
>feels like I’m fucking a real wet tight pussy from a girl on my bed
>put laptop at the end of the bed and plug headphones into hentai video
>make love to this complicated contraption and spurt way more cum than I expected staining my pillows with dry crusty baby batter
>decide this is the best thing ever
>if you haven’t tried this can you really call yourself a Sup Forums user?
>a few hours later I’m hungry and horny again
>If I’m going to the local supermarket up the road then I’m going to bring this thing a long with me
>strategically poke erect dick from the crotch hole in my pajama pants
>place banana toilet paper pillow fleshlight on my dick
>walk to the store with the sensations of the tight banana hole pleasuring my dick with every step
>I’m wearing pajamas so i act like my excuse for carrying around two pillows and hugging them against my chest and crotch is that I just woke up so it looks more authentic and no one will look at me or question me
>go to store and grab my chocolates
>sensation on dick is getting so unreal I can’t continue like this
>go to the cat food and miscellaneous aisle (the emptiest one) and fuck the banana toilet paper pillow fleshlight quickly and cum inside it.
>go to checkout and buy items, etc. All good no one sees me do it and they just assume I’m a typical teenager who just woke up
>next day mom and dad take me shopping after they pick me up from school
>begin freaking out as mom makes a huge scene when I try to stay inside the car and forces me to go inside with her for some dumb bitch reason
>fucking dumb bitch females
>we’re in the fruit and vegetable section AKA the biggest section it’s just a huge open space with no aisles so people at the meat section and deli section can see us as well
>”EXCUSE ME YOU NEED TO COME WITH US”
>Big security looking motherfucker flanked by two other beefy employees
>one is the store manager
>mom and dad questioning them but they just take us into the back and upstairs into the manager’s office
>”Is this your son?” they ask as they pop in a tape
>Ruh-roh!
>imsofucked.jpeg
>security surveillance footage from the cat food aisle camera
>the footage edits to zoom in on me as I stop, face some kitty litter products and quickly fuck my banana toilet paper pillows fleshlight which is easily noticeable along with my hard penis
>mom, dad, manager, security chief and random employee watching slowed down zoomed in footage of me fucking some homemade overly complicated fleshlight while accidentally drooling
>I am sitting there furthest from the Tv my face has never been so hot and red
>at the end I pull out my dick and a bit of my white sticky cum drips off from the head of my cock onto the floor
>tape ends
>eyes all avert to staring at me
>Dad has never been so disturbed and angry
>’CONSTANTIN!’
To make matters worse, we get home that day and they find the package of my online purchased fleshlight and decide to keep the front door locked and hold me up on the front porch as they open it up to see what I bought. I never got that fleshlight back or my money refunded.
pity kek
bump
>dank memes
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damn thats sad dude I thought you people would enjoy my fucked up story.
You people? Who you callin' you people?
that one guy who replied to my thread and maybe a second user who posted shitty unfunny memes but maybe they're the same person. Who knows?
your story is the shit user, no doubt it will be reposted numerous times in best of Sup Forums threads
sarcasm or?
I've been masturbating daily for pretty much forever.
Nofap is a shitty meme I don't believe in but it's not my problem, I don't see anything wrong with masturbating and think it's healthy.
I ceased masturbating a few nights ago because I didn't feel like it anymore, actually just cause I want to nut this (pic unrelated) chick, and now I have insomnia.
The first night I couldn't sleep for like 2 hours of trying.
The second I slept but only 5 hours and couldn't get back to sleep, I had to nap later.
I just slept 2 hours, woke up with the shitty REM leftover dream stuck in my mind's eye and I'm unable to go back to sleep.
Each time I ended up with sexual thoughts and an erection for a while when trying to count sheep.
If I try harder to fall asleep and supplement with naps as well would the insomnia go away?
If fapping right now lets me sleep will the insomnia just continue the next day?
Should I just cave and fap every day again?
Just want to minimize my suffering, leaning towards the latter choice because I think it has the highest chance of working, but I'd like other people's opinions and experiences with this.
no sarcasm, I really enjoyed it
No man, that was actually a really good story
bro you gotta kick that fap addiction that sounds unhealthy as fuck.
don't torture yourself and fap
what's the point of not sleeping well AND denying yourself pleasure you need/want
>>I’m wearing pajamas so i act like my excuse for carrying around two pillows and hugging them against my chest and crotch is that I just woke up so it looks more authentic and no one will look at me or question me
what the actual fuck went through your head
how horny were you
OP you cringey fuck. Why would you need to jack off in a public space like that
It is pretty unhealthy withdrawal but I don't believe it's an issue if maintained.
Yeah, I'm just gonna do this.
I'm the same bro. I tried to stop but I got too fuckin horny and gave in after 2 days. If you wanna try not to fap still, I recommend watching, terry crews: dirty little secret. Terry battled with a porn addiction and is trying to help folks over the net kick thiers. Really uplifting stuff
Haha lost it
I don't have a porn addiction per se, maybe a sex addiction. If I can't access porn I can fantasize and get off pretty easily.
OP Here
Hurry up and post your stories you pathetic cunts. I'm here for a good thread and funny / super humiliating stories. Make me proud, cunts.
I've rubbed myself off in public beside the road at a fireworks event.
I once fucked a snowman outdoors in my backyard.
But have I got caught?
Nope.
Git gud.