Useless super powers
>the ability to grow a unibrow at will
Useless super powers
>the ability to have a two inch penis that grows to twenty inches when cold
The ability to fuck any woman in the world when you have already become a wizard
The ability to shit poo flavored chicken nuggets.
>The ability to pee tabasco sauce
Necrophilia dude
Read the mind of anybody you've already slept with
>The ability to summon a single snail at will.
That isn't useless
There could be a porn related use for this
That is not useless if you are a masochist
This is actually pretty useless
Nope, wizards still want blow jobs
Didn't mention blowjobs. Only fucking. A wizard has no use for that
The power to keep the little glued paper things covering screws on furniture.
>the ability to control someone's mind, but only when you are asleep
The ability to travel forward I'm time but only by 1 second at a time
>Be driving
>Have drugs
>Cops following you
>SpAwn snail on driver cop face
> cops crash
>Get away
Not usrless
>the ability to breath on land
In time* fuckin mobile
>x ray vision, that only work on fish
>I'm time
Kek
>an ability to grow a huge round ass
>you're male
>Be space man
>Go to mars
>On land
>Can breath
Not useless
Assuming all guys are straight, especially on the chan.
>the ability to get a brain freeze at will
>can post awesome OC on Sup Forums but only in trap fap threads
the ability to turn into a nigger but only when cops are around
>Be Lonely fag
>Activate trap mode
Not useless
>The ability to have terminal cancer
In a lie detector test. Want to throw off results for false positives? Brain freeze. Not useless
Not really a super power if little kids get it everyday
The ability to shit from peepee
Lie detectors are not really being used anymore except for shitty PI companies and shitty Day time TV
Right, no guy has ever wanted to know what his girlfriend was actually thinking
>the ability to die when you get old
>The ability to shrink the size of your third toe
>on your right foot
>every leap year.
I could make allot of money with that ability.
>go to Japan, become instant tv celebrity
> Ability to speak all of the language in the world but cant understand it
The ability to go forward in time at a rate of 1 sec/sec
Or your girlfriend
You're a suicidal fag. Not useless
>become cop
>fuck all the white women
>shoot other niggers
Not useless at all
The ability to sweat cum
The ability to create an asteroid In a different Galaxy at will
>Black Power
Now that is fucking useless
See
I already said that
Sell it to sperm banks, 10000000000 women and you're the last man, repopulate earth. Not useless
>Be cumslut
>Best superpower ever
Not usless, you could use it in sports to find out what opponents would do
Well fuck you
>the ability to loose your ability
>an ability to summon sexy dragon girls
>they will appear in a random, unknown to you place
Are you stupid nigger
>yes, yes you are.
The ability to exhale quickly
The ability to only fly north
Go public and make it like a groundhog thing every leap year. Not useless
>randomly spawns in a scaly's house
>not useless
Keep doing it until there is enough population to find one
We are already traveling forward in time one second at a time. And even if you were somehow able to adjust faster there was no mention of traveling backward so you couldn't react any differently.
The ability to make a single child in China sneeze at will, once per hour.
The ability to checkem
>sneezes and spreads pandemic
>biological weapon
>not useless
Checksum
Until you've done it so much the toe disappears and then you're fucked
The ability to get 2s
The ability to get quints
Not even close
...
Ability to shrink 1 strand of hair 1mm once a year
witnessed
>The ability to burst into flames, but only when completely submerged in water.
The ability to control your own thoughts
>have depression
>control your own thoughts by saying dont be depressed
>not useless
>The ability to download excessive amounts of porn and then feel empty inside
This is a paradox.
Make millions of dollars as a performer. Not useless
The ability to spawn Harrier jets by pressing triangle triangle square circle X L1 L1 down up
The ability to fart in HD 3D
The ability to get explosive diarrhea at will unless you're in a sex situation. Ie no point or scat lover satisfaction, also can't be used to determine button rapist
>Read the mind of anybody you've already slept with
says the virgin
>that permanent stale-jizz smell
>no matter what you do it's there
>it's powerful enough to out-stench even expensive colognes
>everywhere you go people curl their noses and avoid you like the plague
That isn't just useless that's downright cruel
>the ability to breath on land
how about you try to lose that ability. see how useless it is once you dont have it.
Hey i have that power!
The power to give yourself a paper cut on your eye at will
The ability to cough up random bones
the ability to fucking die
Not useless
>Survival scenario
>No food
>Keep skipping a second
>Survive twice as long
The ability to be sad anytime you want
You could shave off those hairs infinite amount of times and burn them for fuel.
The ability to run at 150 miles per hour but only while underwater
>the ability to get 72 virgins in the afterlife, regardless of how you died.
>ability to turn into a 93 year old woman with bladder problems
Being black
>"The Chan"