God damn. I have sex with my girlfriend less often than Liz Lemon has sex in a relationship

God damn. I have sex with my girlfriend less often than Liz Lemon has sex in a relationship.

She's probably getting it in all three holes from another guy. One with a better dick. Sorry. Dump her and date someone you can have sex with.

This.

Nah.She's just as anti-social as i am. No opportunity to meet another guy.
Also she has low self-esteem and doesn't realize how hot she is.

And as much as i wish we were having more sex it's not the most important thing

>obvious samefag is obvious

so you came on here to tell Sup Forums about it or is this just a random joke/statement?

Yes.
....and?

thank you?

You're welcome, sport.
Move along

>Tina Fey
Is it true that quirky situation + snappy one-liner = literally all comedy?

No OP. It's easy as fuck for girls to get laid. If she's the same level of attractivness and social awkward as you, she can probably find dick about 100 times easier than you could ever find outside pussy.

You're not alone friend. I married a girl like that. Sometimes the best you can hope for is that she just lets you in to cum in her and move on. Try working that out. Also tell her you feel neglected

i guess

Well she's a bit our of my league and could easily get a lot more D. But i'm not sure what your point it

I guess so. Bitch just has a low libido. I do get the hand and the mouth more often. Just wish she wanted the D more. Unfortunately my dick is kind of painful for her

>Also tell her you feel neglected

Nah, that turns them off even more. It's a catch-22, really.

My point is she's not low libido. She just thinks your nice but ugly as fuck. She's fucking someone hotter. Probably someone with higher sex drive. She just keeps you around because she likes you as a person. I'd dump her or like resign yourself to your fate of raising some other dude's kids. "It's so weird, she let me fuck her just once and sure enough she delivered 8 or so months after."

Nah. I'm 100% secure in the mutual fidelity of our relationship. Turns out i know her better than a rando on the net lol.

Keep telling yourself that. Have fun tasting some other guy's jizz everytime you kiss her.

Fag

Hot + Low self esteem = the cock meats her.

Post pics. I'm curious to know how hot she is.

Also how did she meet you? She may be cheating, brah.

lol trying to make me feel bad because your own life is shit.
Sorry tiger, not gonna work.

no you are
lol

Yeah I'm a fag
Still sounds like she's cheating tho
Trust me, us fags hear all girlfriends' dirty secrets

Heh. Your girlfriend doesn't put out (probably bc she's cheating on you). Why would you assume my life must be worse?

We met in college. She was a virgin (complete with hymen blood) and had only had one boyfriend before me.

She's an easy 7-8/10 (i'm a hard 3-4) but i'm afraid i won't be posting any pics without her permission on account of trust and respect.
I understand if you feel the need to dispute her hot bod as a result

>Believe's the hymen myth
Dude. Hymens don't work like that. Virgin's don't have to bleed, sluts can still bleed. Read a book for fuck's sake. Did she make a point of showing you the blood and claim it meant she's definitely a virgin?

wow, you're so insightful. Such certainty from only a couple details.
You should probably start your career as a psychologist
lol

Fuck you disputing. I just wanna see her.

If you are gonna be all faggy go ask for her permission then. Hurry the fuck up too, I'm almost done shitting.

because you're on Sup Forums putting serious effort into trying to convince a stranger that his girlfriend is cheating.
Reeks just a little of bitterness.
lol
Excuse me while i ignore your attempts to regain the upper hand

It's easy yo
Girls want sex as much as dudes. I SEEN IT. They just don't go shouting about it bc people'll call them sluts
If she's not getting it from you shes getting it somewhere else. Maybe they're not even hotter. That's purely conjecture. Your girl might just be in love with someone else. (They're probably hotter if you're just a 4 like you say though.)

Well coupled with her inexperience, discomfort, her own assertion AND the blood, i feel it was reasonable to believe her.
But i guess you would know better than me...
lol

post pics of you at least

lol sorry bro. You'll have to do some dual fapping and shitting to someone else's girlfriend

now why on god's green earth would you want to see that?

>I have sex with my girlfriend less often than Liz Lemon has sex in a relationship.
Been with the same woman for 11 years. We have sex maybe once a month. I know the feel. At least she doesn't care if I masturbate.

Weird thing is when we're in public she'll whisper all kinds of dirty shit in my ear like how she's going to suck me dry when we get home. When we get back home? PJs are on and she's watching youtube.

Well i suppose nothing is impossible.
But i'm 100% confident that this is not the case.
And of course you have also seen that different people have different sex drives, yes?

I've got this huge fetish for beta cucks. Humor me?

lol that sucks. At least on the rare occasions my girl talks dirty she delivers. Maybe yours just finds it exciting to talk like that in public

Think my gf and I will break up soon

She's upset I don't call her everyday. I don't see what is so important about calling someone every fucking day

Well then i guess that relationship isn't right for you

what a cunt. tell her the lack of sex is making you unhappy. Say it bluntly in a way that implies that your overall relationship shit because of it.

Spoken like someone who has never had a real relationship. And please don't embarrass yourself further by denying it

It always happens, I think it's just me. It sucks because she's awesome and when we're living close enough to talk face to face things are great. It'll be hard to find someone that ticks all the right boxes

Sometimes I feel like I'll be better off alone

thats how my girlfriend is except with texting. then when I do text her she just replies and doesnt start conversations and gives me one to three word replies. its like I dont even want to text in the first place so why am I forced to make the conversation?

I suspect if we break up in the near future it'll be when she goes back to school because shes taking a lot of classes and probably will meet new people.

This.

Solid advice bro.

>tell her the lack of sex is making you unhappy
It's more of a mild annoyance at this point. She's an amazing woman, she's clever and funny and comes up with all these ridiculously great meals to eat. It's awesome. I also get to watch her walk around half-naked most of the time, so that's pretty good.

I'm not going to stop hanging out with my best friend cause she doesn't touch my dick as much as I'd like.

>Weird thing is when we're in public she'll whisper all kinds of dirty shit in my ear like how she's going to suck me dry when we get home. When we get back home? PJs are on and she's watching youtube.

jesus fucking christ, I hate this shit. my girl does the same fucking thing. that and she'll tell me "oh i was so horny the other day" meanwhile if im over and in the mood she tells me she has a headache or a stomach ache or just wants to relax.

Well i don't think you'll ever find someone who is exactly all the things you want. Turns out people are people and not fantasies.
But if you care about her enough then you'll do what it takes to give her what she needs and she'll do the same for you. Compromise

>I'm not going to stop hanging out with my best friend cause she doesn't touch my dick as much as I'd like.


Well said. Just don't try convince the high schoolers giving you advice of that