ITT: We all are scientists in a lab

ITT: We all are scientists in a lab.

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I've successfully cross-bred sperm whales and peacocks!

Who the fuck touched my syrums?

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Hey guys watch this! *Mixes ammonia and bleach*

>tfw probably one of the few people on b who actually works as an engineer in R&D

I have given my own mother AIDS. It wasnt from the sex, but from a blood transfusion.

Sorry I'm late. The lot was blocked with people protesting stem cell research and I had to park at the pay garage and walk.

You're not the only one user.

We makin crystals now

System automation here for a major company

what do you do?

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Yeeee boi, breath in those fine ass chemicals. You smell that science we're cooking?

Where's the experimental drugs at?

Sustainable energy.

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ahh

I used to be assigned to solar cell research but we outsourced that to a university lab

kinda sucks now cause work at a factory so I can get proper "exposure"

Hey, OP, why is this glowing?

GUYS I DID IT

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LOCK DOWN THE FACILITY the nigger hybrid kool aid mutant has escaped the lab

youtube.com/watch?v=aKq8u5XUGDM

Chill

Pharmacy R&D here

Nah, we don't focus on solar or wind. That's proven and not really my field. I'm talking nuclear or fission or fusion.

The kinda shit that'll either turn me into the hulk or give literal unlimited energy.

Although we do have a small division to solar, it's pretty fun to go out and out up a farm with those guys if I've got the chance.

Hey guys! Check this out! *Pours 2 pounds of KNO3 and C12H22O11 mixture on table and lights*

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Hey guys! Check this out! *Pours 2 pounds of KNO3 and C12H22O11 mixture on table and lights*

Ok, so the centrifuge for plates in the qPCR machine room is broken. Does anybody know where there is a centrifuge with adaptors for plates?

Yes, I know it should be in ice, but the ice machine is broken, we are in August and the technician is on holidays.

Why.
Inb4 Newfag

Which one of you guys opened that egg I got from LV-426?

Guys?

Come on - I put a fucking post-it note on there, you guys!

Chemistry R&D here. And yes, our company has a license for drugs but we dont make them at our site, it's another business unit.

>Not being certified to make your own repairs.

It's like you enjoy being a cuckold.

Fuck.

where the fuck is bernie? he was supposed to bring me that vile of green bubbly stuff an hour ago!

I just discovered a new Galaxy in the Boötes void! Current count of galaxies within the void: 72.

Pro tip: try to get work and try to repair something yourself.

You can get fired for it. Because it's about work safety, responsibilities and guarantees. I'm not even allowed to put back in a fuse.

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Oh shit, I rolled a 404. Guess it's time to sleep now.

Maybe it's what I do. But I run and do half the repairs at my workplace.

I just find the law or rule stupid, if you have the certification and experience, why not just source the job inhouse and save money.

He died trying to fuck it.

that useless bastard.
now how will we calm that noise machine in the corner? tim keeps pissing in it but it needs the goo.

Stick your dick in it.

I am a scientist in a lab.

Hello fellow scientists in a lab.

How are you?

Have you done plenty science today?

Me too.

I hope to make atleast 12 sciences before the lunch hour.

hey where's the ketamine?

But it was so cute,it is just like a cat

I have done it, I have successfully made a feminist robot!

forgot image

i can almost smell the mustard gas cooking now

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i would but tim lost his houscat in it last week and im certain its still hungry.

is steve here yet?
check his desk. there must be extra, he's been hoarding the shit for years.

No, you have successfully made a retarded post on Sup Forums

*Knocks on the door* Hellow do you wanna hear the words of our savior jehovah?

Fuck off we're Jewish.

I am Pastafarian

Just stick your cock in anyway, it is not like you are going to use it much.

Shut the fuck up Jerry, just go with it or else he'll sit hear and preach like a madman.

OH YEAH!

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if we have another lab related decocking incident in the media our research funds will be cut and we'll all be homeless within the year!
now unless somebody can get that green stuff outta bernie. we're gonna need more

I pushed him into the autoclave it's OK! He'll be in there for another half hour.

i do say it tastes quite good with lucky charms

I have a PhD in chemistry and am employed as a scientist. Study computer science, not physical sciences

Then stop telling the media about these things you faggot.

well when you have three promising scientists castrated by the hunger machine in one week.. its not easy to hide.
on the other hand im pretty sure tims wife still doesnt know what really happened to their cat.
oh imagine the face on that whore.

We are the scientists in the lab
Looking through a microscope
Those little glass slides they never lie
How can this small mind cope?

I've never seen anything like it before
This amoeba's got a mind of it's own
But don't turn your back you stupid science world
This is reaching for the telephone

Sure, if lucky charms tasted like liquid farts.

I used to work in a research lab, but then quit when I realized my friend delivering pizzas earned more per hour than I did.

Those were not promising scientists those were three faggots that thought the cat cloner was a man's hairy butthole. I do have to ask however why did you make the cat cloner look like a man's hairy butthole?

>Works in a lab
>Makes less than 4.25 an hour
Where the fuck were you working?

I was working in a University doing molecular biology.

R&D technician, working on epoxy polymers

Kek
You got fucked over user.

I discovered a lot of people doing molecular biology are underpaid. I'm in Cali. Was being paid like 15 an hour. My pizza friend with tips was making about 20+.

*accidentally blows himself up*

Oh shit. I figured your friend was getting delivery boy slave wage.

Nope, just Cali.

Okay everyone, I've been running the experiment over and over, and I keep getting the same result... It would seem the levels of Magnesium Faggotia found in the original poster are beyond anything we could have hypothesized...

I for onces think Evelyn is a wonderful woman. Our Men... Did she/he ever when through with the surgery? I can't quite remember.. Mhhh... Very well then! I'd deal with the media. You guys alert the rest of the staff, We can't let the feral cat get away.. does poor basters never saw it coming..

Yup. Higher minimum wage. Actual people with money too.

That is your blood you were testing.

woops i squashed another test subject,
me last week doing a behavioral manipulation experiment with small spiders

an absolute fuckton of us work in scientific research user.

you are not a special snowflake.

so my question would be: what happen if you mix bleach and toothpaste?

Hey Jerry, can you take a look at this graph?

Stuff happens.

Nice graph, and nice dubs

Mother ifor god!.... No one lives! JOHNSON! close the facility.. this is Code Red..

Drawing a blood sample for genetic manipulation tests. I will force a million years of evolution in a matter of days!

who the fuck contaminated the LB...again?

Can someone help me identify this creature?

That's a Cock Johnson.

That would be a straw colored bok-bok.

too soon faggot, he was a national treasure.

These monkeys in lab coats are starting to think they are scientists, fascinating!