Things you had to learn the hard way about sex

Things you had to learn the hard way about sex.

It has to be consensual

be careful who you fuck
t. chlamydia survivor

You dont have to actually date them to be charged with date rape.

...

kek
sad

You can't get any of it from whom you like.

anal sex is only in porn non-shitty

It won't happen

>Confidence and competence is key

I can't cum with a condom on.

some girls have a gag reflex
>puked all over my dick

That it's highly overrated. All the excitement is in the chase, but once you get that sweet reward you come back to your senses.

girls have a second butthole

Bitches prefer aids

...

if she screams force something into her mouth or cover her face with a pillow ( if in your house of course)
if in public blame the closest nigger and he will blame the cops and the cops will get shot and the shooters will get stabbed by other niggers because of drugs and the drug stabby-nig dealers will die of OD and we happy yes okay

Kek!

Fucking that hot Puerto Rican bitch from the office was a bad idea. Currently enjoying herpes.

Girls don't like a feminine penis

Women assume that guys always want it.

blood everywhere

No really means yes.
Fuckin women.

>Things you had to learn the hard way about sex.

That our ancestors had good reason to discourage masturbation.

After years of fapping with
> grip MANY time tighter than a pussy
> pump hundreds of times faster than a hip thrust
> edging to prolong the fun
> focusing on the sweet spot the way a pussy can't

all while looking at unrealistically beautiful pornstarlets in professional makeup and lighting . .. . when I actually got pussy it felt like fucking a bucket of warm water!!!

I was so disappointed in sex until I read that this is a common problem men have.

Stop fapping and start fucking!!!

i don't enjoy sober sex unless it's degrading and vile

Fart sounds will happen.
Something embarrassing WILL happen.
Your first time is always terrible.

>anal sex is only in porn non-shitty
not true but you gotta prepare for it.
She has to be on a certain diet. flush her system and clean herself properly inside and out.
It takes dedication from the woman.
google what the porn stars have to do to do anal.
Might as well just stick to vag

>common problem men have.
women get it too, unrealistic shape and sized penises with dildo, vibration too. They can hit their sweet spot and finish easy.

>women get it too, unrealistic shape and sized penises with dildo, vibration too. They can hit their sweet spot and finish easy.

Parents tell your daughters to finger themselves and not buy insane dragon dildos.

The pussy hole is closer to the asshole and not at the top near the clit...
>be me
>Try to figure out how to get my dick in the first time
> can't get it in
>go full retard

%99.9999 of women wont ever fuck you , its like finding a needle in a haystack. Hardly worth the trouble.

>Eating a 8/10 out
>starts with her body arched forwards towards me
>see she's nervous, use my hands to push her chest back and make her lie on her back
>queef in my face
>if it smelled and she wasn't a cutie I would have been too grossed out to continue

I'm no expert in sex (virgin actually) but i've heard a lot of people say that women get way hornier than man and want sex more often

I love pmf pmf pmf sound, though.

34 yo fucked a few good ones. Made love a lot. Been single for years. No sex in almost a year. My libido is gone. Its fucked up...
>i used to drink a lot. On medication now that gets me by but im pretty robotic. Dont drink a lot.

That if you're wearing a condom & you push too hard to go faster so you'll come you will fart.

>My first time fucking, wore condom, couldn't feel much & kept trying to go super fast to get some friction & sensation I guess.
>Also was "pushing" like you do (or at least I do) when getting closer to bust. Finally felt the orgasm come on, building, building...
>"Unnnggg!" and then it hits while simultaneously a loud fart errupts from my ass.
>We were missionary so nothing even to muffle it.
>She was very sweet didn't even sell it but I was mortified. I'm not a fan of fart humor anyway...hate the word even...
>Fart
>It's just wrong...fucking low hillbilly comedy
>Fucking farts...

some people are into that sort of thing ya know

The refraction period is around fifteen minutes on average, but he's not going to stick around that long after he's finished...

>finger themselves
true but same thing can happen, they get used to hitting the spot and sex doesnt do it for them.
well first time sex, a man has to learn a womans vag

Retroactive consent is a thing on liberal arts campuses.

Lol nothing to do with the condom.

I cant help but fart during almost every BJ ever. So refuse BJs. Not like get offered often, but when i do, i sah no :(

>I'm no expert in sex (virgin actually)
Get the fuck out of this thread

>Fucking farts
I do believe that is what you experienced. A case of the fucking farts.

>when I actually got pussy it felt like fucking a bucket of warm water!!!
my sides

>women get way hornier than man

wishful thinking. Every study of male vs. female desire for sex has shown males desire sex more.

Some women wipe back to front. Meaning you can get shit-related infections in your urethra/ bad deferens/ testes even if it had been years since you had anal

Most girls don't fucking understand what "sit on my face" means

No, I don't want you to awkwardly hover above my face, no you won't hurt me, no I won't suffocate. I want you to take your fine ass and your sexy satin panties and sit firmly on my face and if you have the reach jerk me off

>feminine penis
>feminine
>penis

That's not true at all. Western women have more partners than men and get turned on by a wider range of sexual activities.

Eh, it was more so religious organizations than just our "ancestors" who discouraged masturbation.

>wishful thinking.
More like you're underage. Women at orgies go on after the men are done.
>Every study of male vs. female desire for sex has shown males desire sex more.
That's just not true

neither one of u mouthbreathers cited ur sources

i've banged two girls and they both initiated sex every time. trust me, it varies from female to female and male to male but all humans are perverted as fuck and always want the d or v--or both, if they're a faggot gay/bi

Most grills are NOT pretty princesses who might be romanced into doing something naughty. Most of them are horny manipulative bitches who put up a pretty facade.

H.I.V. presents with almost no symptomes

This
Liberals give me a fucking head ache.

it's not all that great considering other extatic states.
better take drugs kids!

Fingering a girl is not just jamming a finger in and out of a vag as fast as you can. Actually didn't learn this until recently and I've been sexually active for about seven years (I'm 23).

>january of this year
>second or third time having sex with girl
>fingering her
>she grabs my hand and stops me
>"no, do this"
>holds up her hand, wiggles her two middle fingers back and forth
>start doing that
>she's visibly more turned on
>mfw

Oh it's happened with BJ's a few times but thankfully I dont recall any huge thunderous butt wind since that one. That was the thing, had a few BJs but that was my first time having intercourse, just felt like I ruined it & always have the memory of my first time umm, clouded.

I can't give up BJ's, my wife is too fucking good to do that. She has taken my advice & added her own techniques so that now she is a certified master, unreal.

If I ever squeeze out anything dring a BJ ( very rare) she ignores it, she's never said something embarrassing, as I haven't said anything the times she has farted.

The Fucking Farts, like user said, they're fucked.

>Women at orgies

hardly a representative sample of all women since very few women are willing to participate in any kind of group sex. I was speaking of the average women compared to the average man. Of course there are situations where in a male female couple the female happens to have a higher sex drive. But the reverse situation - married women who almost never want sex is much more common. Why do you think there is so much talk of finding a pill to boost female libido ?

All it took for me to begin enjoying sex was one willing girl whom I was in love with.

We earnestly had sex probably

foreplay matters,
first time or two I went in dry and ended up "snapping my banjo string" (unsure of the name of the strip of skin that attatches your foreskin to your shaft).
regardless it hurt like fuck and i ended up bleeding all over the bed and couldnt fuck again for a week or two( did get my balls sucked tho,not a total loss)

>Eh, it was more so religious organizations than just our "ancestors" who discouraged masturbation.

Religious traditions often spring from societal experience rather than just superstitious randomness.

Rules regarding sexual behavior, commerce, etc. that seemingly have religious origins are usually based on societal needs.

women, in general are turned on eas7y as men
are sexually active more than men
have more sexual desire based on a broad rage of desires and fetishes
and experience more pleasure from sex

Start with foreplay, middle two fingers, bringing them in almost like you're going to make a fist.

Many girls like getting spanked, but don't put too much power into it. Start slow and get stronger if she asks

Start with missionary. Reach and grab the ass with both hands and lift it up a little, this will let you get deeper and pound harder. Alternatively put her legs on your shoulders

i still remember figuring this out in my teens... i blame Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations that all women were beautiful little angels and all you had to do to get them to fall for you and get in their pants was to be nice and friendly... i miss being young

FUCKING THIS!
every damn time

>Most of them are horny manipulative bitches who put up a pretty facade.
this
no point putting them on pedastals

Anal isn't like the porn videos. Sometimes poop in your bed

just fuckin grab the top of her thighs and pull her down?

>snapping my banjo string
Ive snapped my banjo string but from fucking for too long that she was all dried up. I still have a kind of knotch in it after it has healed.

>two
>both

nice sample size

They resist and say the usual "I'm shy, I don't want to hurt you, you won't be able to breathe"

KEK, that must be so cringe

It's like a girl giving you a handjob, you have to tell them how you like it

Never tried it for that very reason. Also, I just have no interest in having any trace of poop on my dick.

Std's are a pain in the dick to get rid of.

cant be any worse than poop on your fingers, you saying you're some kind of faggot that hasn't fingered themselves?

don't ride bareback then,put a jacket on

A couple with the girl I'm currently with
>whiskey dick is real
>Gotta get her off during foreplay, especially if I haven't nutted prior to sex
>balls hurt like hell if trying to cum more than 3 times in like 45-hour
>they want to fuck so much sex isn't even appealing anymore


Little teenage me used to think this would be amazing but it's actually just getting to be a chore

Eh, I don't even really like handjobs. I can't get off on that. The only time I get one is as a preamble to sex and I use that as my in to start feeling her up and getting down to business.

Also, it was just awkward to me because I'm wondering how many of the girls I've slept with have refrained from saying anything. Though I can't recall any of them being disappointed or anything like that lol

It's not quite as great as you think it will be. It's better than masturbation, but on the physical level it's only a slight improvement - It's hearing the girl moan and shit that makes it awesome.

This user has the right idea:

Still, there's the potential issue of shit in the bed lol

This is not true - All your girl really needs to do is squirt some water up there a few times before you engage in anal sex, to clean it out. Me and my girlfriend have done anal at least a thousand times and not even once was it unclean. Doesn't smell either, if your girl is clean. Get a submissive girl and tell her to do this procedure as part of her daily routine before she comes to bed at night, and just fuck her ass each evening. Stick to vaginal if you fuck her during the day.

1. Stop being a total pussy
2. Put a towel down
3. Get over yourself and try new things
4. Stick it in her pooper
5. ?????
6. Profit

true,the cunt is a much more purpose built thing to fuck anyways,not missing much

same im 4 months sober and discovered I enjoy degrading women :) now im all about raising my number so I can do this to higher numbers

Everything in moderation, nigger

Sex with a condom isn't worth it

I laughed at your misfortune. Shit, nigga, I can't believe you used that 'jamming finger technique' for seven fucking years. You live and you learn, eh?

it's never "free"

what do you do when your banjo string snapps? surgery?

they don't fucking wash their ass and it stinks when you fuck them doggystyle
also some have hairy ass nipples and they don't pluck
brb killing myself

third time I had sex i found out that I'm Rick Harrison, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, "Big Hoss." Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know what is gonna come through that door.

Virgin detected. Or your doing it wrong

Oh shit, a lot of things. Preparation is key in my opinion, make sure the set-up is right (condom, lube, toys, towel, even cold water if you want to drink something in between). Take some time thinking about what you want to do and what she would like. Try something totally new when you feel like it. Whatever you do, always start slowly. If needed: Just ask. If you don't like something, tell them. It's just like other aspects of life.

>mfw I could be having virginity-losing sexual intercourse right now with a really nice chick I met at a club who just broke up with her boyfriend of several years last week, but her presumably friendzoned af/gay best friend happened to be traveling like 2000km to visit and somehow convinced her to go on a sudden holiday to Europe
good on that guy if he manages to fuck her if he's actually been waiting for this moment for three years and had to travel literally over 5000km to get laid, but I'm still hitting her up when she gets back

What I have learnt about sex is that total strangers who aren't aware of your intentions, or possibly existence, have no qualms about unintentionally cockblocking you, the fuckers. Also it's about 1200% easier to bang an equally as attractive guy. If someone tells you that women want sex as much as men, they're either wrong or women need to try harder to get what they want.

beautiful picture manne

this

This. I would never do a one-night-stand because frankly sex with a condom on is worse than just fapping by myself. Find someone you love, put her on the pill if she isn't already, and skip the condoms.

I just let it heal,couldnt fap ,fuck or get bjs for a week or two tho.
all it is is the strip of skin tearing,hurts like fuck but i wasnt gonna go to the docs about it at 17 lol