>be fat
>go to /fit/ and find a solution
>main problem is i eat like a dumpster
>apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul
>"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
>go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars
>the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
>i dont shit that day
>next day i fiber myself up even more
>i dont shit that day either
>fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon
>can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore
>i dont shit the third day
>i dont shit the fourth day
>thefinaldaydawns.mp3
>i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way
>the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me
>it's whistling
>just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin
>no sound other than the whistling hiss
>suddenly stops
>the hole is plugged
>SOS
>this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
>hang on to the shower curtain and pray
>the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed
>my entire ass is covered in toilet water
>now the fun begins
>a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me
>solid and prefectly round nuggets
>the smell is killing me
>blacking out
>the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
>iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
>my guts are yelling in german
>sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly
>most of the shit isn't even digested at this point
>just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat
>after an hour it finally seems to be over
>im shivering and crying
>both legs collapse as i try to stand up
>my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet
>gondorcallsforaid.rar
>shakily wipe my ass
>completely clean
Be fat
my sides
>going to /fit/
Well now you've learnt your lesson, haven't you?
...
Here you go
wouldreaditagain/10
8/8 m8
Kek'd so hard I farted
My sides
My fucking sides
It was good advice
/Fit/ is the shit
I was actually pooping while reading, and would again.
Sides in orbit 10/10 OP
gondorcallsforaid.rar
Holy shit this is fucking gold man
20' Old classic
Uwut?
this
makes me feel better that im an alcohol and just diarrhea all day instead.
My fucking sides
Thanks for the laugh OP
i am an alcohol and i havnt taken a solid shit in 3 years.
didn't you listen to OPs story?
obviously you need more fiber
top kek
...
>my guts are yelling in German
Fucking kek'd
My sides are in orbit. Well done OP.
Same as my fellow alcohols i am an alcohol as well but i remember the times that i was giving birth to satan.
Me neither, thought it was HIV but my doc said it's alcohol when i told her i drink 8 beers a day minimum.
I miss my brown sausage shit
Alcoholic reporting. I managed to get soft but shaped shit after 2 weeks of fiber. Still lighter in color butt fuck it
...
y'all need fiber jesus to work his magic in your colon
Ive seen this copypasta too many fucking times in too many different forms. This entire thread is cancer. Newfags, everywhere. Kill yourselves you degenerate waste of space.
Good shit op, literally.