Crazy ex story thread

crazy ex story thread

>be me, private school fag
>pretty nerdy, pretty beta
>also parents not particularly rich, unlike most of my classmates
>girls don't like me because beta, their parents don't like me because family not rich
>therefore exactly 0 girlfriend prospects
>fast forward to inter-school social
>basically parents, students and staff from three high end private schools meet up to network and do rich people "partying"
>hanging out with two also beta friends when see girl in beautiful dress
>she's with her obviously rich as fuck dad
>he's talking to other rich as fucks, she's looking awkward and uncomfortable
>she notices me looking at her, looks away suddenly
>notice that she keeps looking back over at me over the course of the night, though
>finally she's sitting at a table alone, dad probably doing more rich man things

continue?

keep going bud

NO

Yes yes go on

you got it chief.

>nervous as fuck but realize that she is probably beta too since not talking to anyone all night
>pluck up courage to go talk to her
>momsspaghetti.jpg
>go introduce myself
"hi im user, i go to user private school, how about you?"
>she looks shocked, but eventually responds
"hi im Liz, I go to user private school. nice to meet you."
>sit down and start talking about our classes and families and so on
>we're both nervous as fuck at first but it gets easier as we realize both of us are betafucks
>eventually her dad comes over, seems ecstatic his daughter is talking to someone
>make small talk with him for a while about my school, parents, etc
>actually seems like a nice bro, despite being rich as fuck

>end of the night, Liz and I have been talking for about an hour now
>really seem to hit it off, she's definitely a beta and seems a bit odd, but fuck it, im talking to a real live gril
>exchange facebook info because too beta to ask for phone number
fast forward two months
>Liz and I have become pretty close, talk all the time
>she tells me about her school and family, etc
>mom died two years ago, she's obviously still really upset about it
>has spent lots of time in counseling
>dad owns a goddamn fucking cruise line, multiple ships
>super rich doesn't even begin to touch it

cont

Fucking continue

typing it up, never told this story before...

>she asks me to come visit her house on a saturday
holyfuckyes.jpg
>even though we've gotten close, beta kicks in and nervous as fuck again
>my parents thrilled that i have "a little friend," agree to drive me the hour and half to her place
>i go to her place and of course it's fucking enormous, like movie set bond villain mansion enormous
>we play tennis and swim in her pool and hang out with her dad for a bit
>she shows me her pimpin room and tells me she likes to call herself queen when she's here
>her mom used to call her queen i guess, maybe it makes her feel better about her being gone

> he is like get on the floor
> do the dino

did you get the puss?

getting there user, its a long one....

fast forward a year, Liz and I spend as much time as we can together
>she actually seems to like me
>really like her too, but do notice that she gets crazy and or depressed every once in a while
>dad finally tells me that's she manic depressive, and had a bout of psychosis after her mom died
>tells me he likes to see me around and sees that i make her happy
>again, really pretty cool bro
>don't care that she is a bit nuts, really care about her, first gril that has given me the time of day
fast forward two more years

Go faster OP

> I bone her
>she then die
> me so sad

keep it coming OP

>go to middle school
>slowly becoming self-aware (was teacher's pet until 6th grade)
>I decide to annoy a girl in my geography class by throwing paper balls at her
>she thinks I'm trying to talk to her, so she opens every one, always disappointed
>never talk to her outside of class
>one day we have a sub, he's indian an wears a turban
>everyone calls him an Islamic terrorist
>decide its a great idea to pelt the girl with a shower of paper balls
>teacher won't care.wav
>'friend' and I make paper balls
>I rapid fire throw them at her faster than Sonic downing a chili dog
>she opens every one
>she begins to read one
>wat
>her face turns red runs out of the class room
>friend laughs for about 10 minutes
>ask him what he did
>"oh user, I just told her, pretending to be you, that you loved her and wanted to go out with her"
>normie rage activate
>dash out of classroom and find her in the hallway
>I take out my prepubescent cock
>rape her right in the hallway
>she tries to get me arrested

Women are fucking lunatics man

trying my best bro


>Liz and I graduate school, fall in love
>we spend every moment we can together that summer
>notice that her bouts of mental illness are getting worse though, sometimes she totally loses it and refers to herself as queen
>talks to her dead mom
>i try to calm her down and let her dad know when these happen, he sends her to a psych again
>over at her place one night, just finished dinner
>walk into kitchen and see her standing there holding a knife by her side, talking to herself (or her mom?)
>she's startled when i come in, doesn't seem to recognize me
>runs at me with the knife and cuts me on the arm really deeply
>im screaming at the top of my lungs
>her dad comes running, she recognizes him, drops the knife, starts crying profusely and calling herself queen again

Kek

fucking lol

Oh fuck this is getting good, I was going to talk about an ex but it doesn't come close to this

Still lurking. I love crazy bitches

It's gonna end with shit.

Share your story too user

She gonna cut ur dick off next

Can we just take a moment and respect that this man got trips on this golden post

>I grab my phone and dial ems
>the blood is everywhere, she cut some sort of artery
>dad is comforting Liz while I bleed out on the floor
>can hear sirens
>ems break down door
>get on the floor
>everybody do the dinosaur

>takes her to the therapist, chauffeur takes me to the hospital
>dad comes and visits me later that night, is really concerned that i might not want to see Liz anymore
>tell him he doesn't understand, i love her
>he starts crying now, holds me in his arms and says his family is so lucky to have met me
fast forward another year
>Liz hasn't gone to university because mental illness, i havent either because want to be with her
>she has moments when she's fine but generally condition is getting worse
>still don't care, still love her
>would literally do anything for her, doesn't matter that she's crazy
>ask her dad if i can marry her
>he's overcome and says yes he gives his blessing
>when Liz is having one of her better days, propose
>have borrowed money from her dad to buy the ring, he really went overboard though
>she says yes!
>he says he'll have a statue made of us to put in the mansion garden like all the other couples in the family history
(really nice marble statues of the couples holding each other in wedding clothes, going back four generations)

are you tripping balls user

What you stupid

that's actually so cute, the dad sounds like a total bro.

damn this is good shit to tell the children one day

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

she probably dies in a car crash or something, or kills herself, or kills OP.

woahhhhh dude calm down lol XD

pls shit on me daddy

>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>wedding preparations start happening
>all of a sudden, fucking disaster
>her dad is killed in a car accident, drunk driver drifted across the center line and hit his car head on
>him and chauffeur killed instantly
>Liz goes totally off the deep end, permanently becomes queen
>starts calling me king, says we live together in a special land
>trying to hold it together while she loses her mind and dealing with her dad's affairs
>dude has written me into his will, bequeathed me a goddamn cruise ship
not telling you fucks the ship's name or cruise line
>has left everything else to Liz
>try to go ahead with the wedding planning anyway
>decide to have wedding on the cruise ship that he left me, invite my family and her aunts/uncles, etc

I WAS CLOSE YOU FUCKERS

...

Sheeeeeeit

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

daaaayuum

How the fuck could she kill op ? Who would tell story

>mfw bequeathed me a cruise ship, top kek

Everybody look for cruise line owners who have died in car crashes so we can send OP free pizza
>jokes, keep telling your story OP

NO ONE FUCKING CARES FAGGOT

LOOK WHO'S THE FAGGOT NOW, FAGGOT

I CAN PISS FURTHER THAN YOU CAN!

Now this is podracing

>Liz's condition is absolutely bananas most of the time now
>queen has taken over her mind
>psych says we can do the wedding but wants to be there and have security and stuff in case queen appears
>agree, dude has done his best to help her and some extra security probably isn't a bad idea
>wedding day comes
>we go to the ship by helicopter
>ship is fairly close to shore in case queen does anything crazy
>both our families are there, everyone so happy for us
>Liz seems okay when dealing with her aunts and maids who are helping her get into her dress
>im going full beta nervous again
>getting ready with my friends
>all of a sudden maid comes running
>Liz has disappeared
>everyone is worried she has become queen

I will cum directly into your fucking eyeballs from 30 feet away as your girl jacks my cock, you fucking faggot.

when u a slav tho

Here we go
>Be me
>12
>Start getting interested in girls
>See how some girls I didn't gave shit about were actually pretty bangable
>Too beta do to shit tho
>Girl in my class
>Everybody calls her Pepperoni since her face is full of Acne
>Skinny as fuck
>5/10
>Extreme bully on the poor summer child
>Don't bully her
>Want to be sure that when she shoots up someone it isn't me
>Talk to her sometimes since she's a beta as well
>Bullies start saying we are dating
>WellFuck.jpg
>Months go by with this
>Some girls tell me Pepperoni actually likes me
>Ask her in the same day
>"Yes, user"
>Kiss her
>My first kiss, my first girlfriend
>Happy as fuck
cont?

NICE DUBS YOU SHITLORD

I’m Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I’ve learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.

cont, im enjoying your story

let OP fisnish

That's not trips new fag

Continue please

THANKS FAGGOT I GOT DUBS BECAUSE OF THE TWO FUCKING EYES OF YOURS THAT ARE DRENCHED IN THE WHITE OF MY SEMEN

Quads

>giant search party ensues
>all of a sudden ship starts fucking moving
>queen has taken over the goddamn ship
>we all rush to the bridge and see her at the wheel, the throttle slammed full forward
>she's steering it toward the shore
>ship is huge so doesn't take long to smash into rocks
>taking on tons of water
>queen looks at me with absolute madness in her eyes
>tells me the special land we live in is called wishful thinking

Two stories makes less waiting time

>prepare her anus for the rape train
>Pepperoni is excited as am I
>gets on the floor
>your mother will die in her sleep tonight if you don't reply
>dinosaurs are eating spaghetti in my pocket
>nobody gives a shit about your story

Why so rude :'( I tought people were nice to eachother here

Nice dubs faggot

>tells me to drop to the floor and kiss her toes cause she's the queen
>in my head im cancelling the wedding already, making plans to have the statue of us cancelled
>she's still looking fucking crazy
>mfw i look at her and say

i don't need to fall at your feet
just cause you cut me to the bone
and i won't miss the way that you kiss me
we were never carved in stone
and if i don't listen to the talk of the town
then maybe i can fool myself
i'll get over you, i know i will
i'll pretend my ships not sinking
and i'll tell myself i'm over you
because i am the king of wishful thinking
because i am the king of wishful thinking

Unfortunately he got dubs and therefore can say anything he likes

kill yourself

I had missed the dubs.
Please forgive me mister dubs sir

fucking edgy nigger faggot

I swear to god this had better not be OP

Kek nice one OP

Motherfucker

This is gunna end up a Lorde royals joke I know it

Think we were bamboozled

If this is Op I swear to fuck

YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY OFFICER, A VOTE FOR TRUMP IS A VOTE FOR AMERICA THIS NOVEMBER.

I'm okay with richfags
I'm okay with someone dying

but now it starts gettin really over the top...
I rlly enjoyed your story tho OP

sad i wont any longer

No it's definitely op. We've been had. It's over. Go home and listen to some of the youtubes

DAMN YOU OP
All those minutes that could have been used for fapping and/or doing nothing usefull

ABANDON THREAD THE OP IS A LIAR FAGGOT ABANDON THREAD

Can we all please give OP props for being such a champion

>both our families are there, everyone so happy for us
DUDE WHAT?
her family was dead. FUCKING DEAD

kek

I wish someone gave me a ship

>on floor
>doing dinosaur

big kekes

Why didn't anyone point out
>First time ever typing out this story
What kind of fucking spaghetti shits do you fags fall for?

Its 5 am for me so I have an excuse

kekkles, see i didn't lie about everything

A lot, sir double dubs

and for you quads sir!
4 9's

Not gonna green text because I'm on my phone

A buddy of mine had this girlfriend named Tatiana in high school he speaks some Ukrainian and she was a exchange student from Ukraine

Each day she brought him dessert or a home made lunch like..from scratch every morning

Sends him the nudes daily

Blow jobs whenever he asks puts out in the same way

She wants him to meet her parents who are here on work visas

He agrees but tells her he isn't good enough at Ukrainian, goes anyways

Dinner is coming to an end and he goes to leave, starting to feel awkward, her parents keep saying "don't leave" in Ukrainian.
He calls me from the bathroom, sitting in the bathroom he tells me to dial 911, then the door slams open and I hear shouting.

Called police for him, they came to her house to find him tied up in the basement with a gag. Arrested all three. Deported them, and needless to say we don't talk about Tatiana

KEK Me Daddy!!1!1!

gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8 out of 8

GO TO BED RIGHTNOW

Holy shit

post her nudes

>Start dating Pepperoni
>Bully kinda stops on her for some time
>But triples on both of us
>Start being called "The Pizza Couple"
>"Mario and Mama"
>Whatever
>I'm touching some underdeveloped boobs
>Months go by and I'm overwhelmed with the joy of touching boobs
>13
>Start noticing she's kinda freak
>Always texting me
>Always calling
>But not in a daily basis
>Every hour she calls me
>She's with me all the fucking time
>Classes
>With my friends
>She pretty much was living in my house at some point
>School project
>She insists in us doing it togheter
>Sure Pepperoni
>We spend one week doing a shitty project about Imigration or some shit
>Day of Presentation
>She misses class
>The project is in her locker
>I know the combination so I go there pick it up
>Sketch book there
>Decides to take a look
>A bunch of drawning of us and some texts
>Some texts about how much she wanted to be with me
>Marry me and buying a house for us
>Kinda cute
>Next page
"I want a house far away from user City, with only me and user. I want to lock the two of us in the house and never let user get away from me."
>Getting freaked out
"My parents ask'd where I'm spending all my day. When I told them it was in user's House they got mad. If they try to set us apart I will kill them"
>NOPE.mp3
cont

Yeah

I don't have anything like my buddy, worst I had was this Mexican ex whose ex bf tried stabbing me, but he was a filthy Puerto Rican so I shoved him off a balcony about 1 story down he got up and walked off

That's 1/2 weird ass girls my buddy has dated

>have a girlfriend
>sleep with her every night
>sex was weird
>can't really communicate but that's not a problem
>one day mother wanna replace her with another one.
>doesn't feel the same. it's totally different actually.
>my girlfriend was a pillow.