Where do i hide a dead body ? And how to do it fast af?

Where do i hide a dead body ? And how to do it fast af?

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telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1552482/Missing-girls-body-put-into-kebab.html
youtube.com/watch?v=Cim4WDyHX08
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Bump for interest

Chop it up and feed to pigs

Why would you need to know if you haven't done anything? Fat jew cuck

chop it up and dump to ocean

Burry it under a dead animal, or go all out Fargo and put it in a wood chipper.....I vote wood chipper

Already alerted the cops

We are going to have to see the body first OP

Captcha: tieman 13800

Top fuckin kek

Cut it up, drive around at night in country side, burry different body parts in different places, go home.

Eat it

FFS guys , i really need to hide this boddy. Fktard drunk father got knocked out , he is not breathing .

Wood chipper then dispose body in ocean. If you can afford it, disassemble chipper, soak the parts in bleach, dump parts in ocean, rivers, scrap yard, dump.

There is no ocean here .

Ask siri

Told her. She allerted the cops.

local McDonalds dumpster right before pickup. bring a couple bags filled with trash to throw over the bag with the body.

Oops

OP kill yourself and fuck you cucks for believing this shit. You haven't done anything cause you're a pussy lil bitch and will never have the balls to do something like that. You spend your day fapping to traps and loli threads, I doubt you even have friends. Kill yourself OP

I'm in a village , there is no MC here. But there is a big forest , and corn fields.

Kek take a fag break and see if you calm down a bit buddy.

Fuck the corpse, then drop it off at the fire station, they always take unwanted bodies and give them to a new home

>fag break
Ha!

I'm not your buddy, friend!

>fag break

The next firestation is about 30km away , i only have a scooter.

Trips demand it

>have house
>build deck
>holes for footings
>cut up body
>put in hole
>pour footing
>build deck

Build a forced air furnace with a barrel witg the air inlent on the side of the kid, and exhaust on the center of lid. The center exhaust port has to be smaller, say 50%. Add a metal pipe to each exhaust port and inlet port. The exhaust pipe needs to be higher to clear the surrounding pipes. Get an 90 degree elbow pipe pointing perpendicular to circumference of lid. Add a coupler to the intake elbow, and connect inlet pipe with a inflatable castle air blower. Add lumber, kerosene and oil to tank, along with trash. Add the body, drop a paper towel on fire to exhaust, turn on airblower.

Cremate the fucker, there is a reason he was murdered. Remove any solids that remain (bones), and crush them. They should be brittle AF.

Sprinkle remaining ash and cursed bones in flower bed or river.

If anyone asks why you built this barrel, tell them is a kiln/garbage disposer/metal melter.

Also, make sure the barrel and lids are steel.

I've been using mine for years, it destroys all kind of DNA evidence.

grind body
sell it as kebab

telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1552482/Missing-girls-body-put-into-kebab.html

Yeah umm... i don't have money for that.
Not a bad idea , i think i'm gona chop the mofo into pieces , and sell it to the local chinese rest.

I'm not your buddy guy!

You'll get caught. Fire is the only clenser for your sins. Build the forced air furnace, or spend the next 100 years in prison.

I speak from experience

pic related?

Bury it in front of the police station
>no cop will think to look in the front yard of a police station

Pic is not related.
Maybe 5-10 year in my country.

Still not worth it.

Just leaave it in a forest or in a sewage manhole.

Burn down the house.

keep it and then dump it on the street during Halloween. Is too easy my dude

If you never want to be 100% safe of not being discovered then take a roaw bot and roar out to the sea. Put some rocks in a bag and tie it around the corpse's ankle and dump it in the water. Preferably deep water so the corpse will never be found again.

You seem to got quite the experience in this subject. I'm filing a report just to be on the safe side.

Abandoned mineshaft.

use a reciprocating saw (sawzall) to cut up the body in the tub. cut at the joints for easier disassembly. drain the body in the tub, rinse the blood out. bag the parts up. the guts drain down pretty well. remember that the human body is mostly water, so once it is drained and cleaned, its a lot lighter.

from here you have some choices. If you grind the meat, it will drain more, but you'll probably be better off disposing of it as a disassembled bag of parts.

cover yourself OP. you dont want your DNA on the evidence.

Lol, watermarked.

The problem is that you hide the evidence, you need to cleanse it with fire.

Thanks for the TIPS guys, i think i'm gona chop him up. brb

Checked

this

The Deadwood solution.

Just hypothetically, though, your best options are:
1. weights on all limbs and around the waist and then deposit in the sea. No one will be finding that shit. Best option is from a boat. Second best is over a bridge. Third best is dumping from a pier.
2. fill barrels with HCl in decent concentration. Let body dissolve.
3. fill a large box with cement. Remove box casing. Leave a block of cement in a discreet place that looks like building or roadworks remainders.
4. shallow grave in the woods, though this will probably be found by animals and dragged all over the place.
5. OP's house, since a complete absence of friends guarantees no visitors for decades.

Nice almost quints.

And good suggestion -- the Fargo solution.

get sailboat
sail to the deep ocean
make big concrete blocks
chain or tight to the body
man over board!

It's time to build a shed with a concrete foundation. If you don't know where I'm going with this you're a fucktard.

How about chopping up to smaller pieces and filling a mold with body part and concrete.

If you wraps the body part in a bag or plastic, you'd probably be certain to get rid of any smell.

Next you could build something with the concrete blocks. Like a walkway.

Every so often, replace a body part piece of the walkway with one that is not cursed.

You could be rid of all evidence in a matter of weeks easily.

Ocean, deep lakes, return blocks to hardware store where unsuspecting customer will have cursed walkway.

Etc..

love you user

Former redneck AB88 here.
I've never killed anybody. But our chapter has, this is how they get rid of snitches.

You will need a shovel
A few wooden pallets
8-10 tires
A gallon gas can of 1/2 high octane and 1/2 diesel fuel.

Dig a hole 4 feet or so deep
Put in 2 pallets and 4 tires
Throw on some fuel
Place body on tires
Place remaining tires on top
Rest of fuel.

Light it up, let it burn till it's out then fill in hole.

#5 Top Kek

kek

Fire. Fire for two or three days. Nothing... NOTHING will be left. Even after 8 hours of burning no tissue will remain.

Hide it in the morgue. It'll blend in with the others.

You could always chop it up and wrap the pieces in cheese cloth and then in saran wrap. Wear gloves as you do so.
Then scatter the pieces in many different directions.
Start with the head as it's one of the easiest parts to identify and dig a hole somewhere secluded about 5 to 6 feet. Seeing as it's only a head it wont need to be too wide, just deep.
With each new piece you bury, you should be somewhere new, a new city, a new state, a new country if you can help it. You really don't want to have to travel too much with this shit but more well hidden the more likely you'll live with this secret until your dying day.
Once every piece is gone, you sit at home and consider yourself lucky that you didn't get caught.
Once you're done with that, snap back to reality and make sure you wake up when the corrections officers call for breakfast because there's no fuckin way you got away with any of that shit you dumb motherfucker. There's cameras on satellites that can see individual grains of sand and sediment on Mars, you don't think a few of em cant see your fuckin house?
Even if they're not watching from space, there could be a camera in the dead center of your television screen and you'd never fuckin know about it, much less would you ever find out.
Even if you took it apart you wouldn't know what to look for.
Not to mention the fifty something cameras the average person has on all of their electronic devices these days. If your phone doesn't snitch you out, your laptop, your TV, your tablet, for fuck's sake even your game CONsoles are keeping an eye on you.
What was the question again?
Oh yeah
>Where do I hide a dead body?
up your ass OP, that's the only place they....well lets be honest they probably will look, but at least they probably won't enjoy doing so.

>Drunk Father
>knocked out

Dude just say he fell and barely found him. How hard is that?

Eat it you fat fuck

>firefox

fucking summerfags go shoot up a school or something

There is a dent in his face from the baseball bat. I don't think thats a possibility.

Kek

And leave all your life in fear, can't even sell the fucking house. Stupid idea to shit in your plate

This is it: Get an idea from youtube.com/watch?v=Cim4WDyHX08

Do what they did in Weekend at Bernie's and just pretend he is alive.

No one will ever know he is really dead.

.t dead guy

Then get your shit together and start burning cause if you don't you're gonna be enjoying some pokie action soon.

>yogurt enema
> teeth pulled dropped in bottle of soda
> marked grave with dog collar to keep people from digging up

A graveyard seems like a decent place, no one expects to find a dead body there

Why would you give yourself a yogurt enema before you pulled the teeth?

did nobody see that deep web posting on how to dispose of a body?

That guy actually got away with it, was never convicted.

cut up and remove all flesh from bones cook meet and throw away break bones with hammer after burning them

...

actually solid advice