Okay Sup Forums I've fucking had it...

Okay Sup Forums I've fucking had it. I tried get laid last night and I don't think I can ever go through with this again. Fuck my fucking luck.

>be me, 22
>last night at first party with couple of friends, slightly buzzed
>friends already left, know nobody at party
>see cute girl across room
>approach her
>"Don't know anybody here, what's the worst that can happen?"
>we start talking about college, food, she's also 22, turns out we have mutual friends
>1am, about to pass out when she yanks my hand
>follow her upstairs
>"Holy shit, this is it"
>blood already starts rushing to head and dick
>get on bed with her in room upstairs with light still on
>wonder whose bed it is but shrug it off a minute later
>she positions her head near cock with her crotch to my face
>said to her out loud "so we're doing 69 first haha" like the beta autist I am
>she doesn't respond, she's just going to town on my dick
>follow suit, attempt to lick pussy
>whatthefuckamidoing.jpg
>moments later feel tapping on forehead
>tap tap tap
>every other second I feel this subtle tapping
>tap tap tap
>pry self from her legs to see what the fuck is tapping me, meanwhile she's still suckin
>WHAT THE FUCK
>spot a fucking TAPE WORM dangling from her asshole like a wet noodle
>literally throw her off me and run out of the room before she can even get up
>leave party running and holding my pants up all the way back to my place

What the fuck should I do Sup Forums? I haven't even opened Facebook or looked at my phone today because she knows some of my good friends. I'm choking on my own anxiety all day that I can barely even breathe. Also pic mostly related.

Put sharpy in her pooper

You know what you must do OP. Become grand wizard.

Did you at least whack it off after you got home, you poor bastard?

CHECKED

That's what you get for eating out strangers.

Hell fucking no I was too disgusted with myself after.

She knew some of my friends who are pretty cool so I thought I was safe in this regard for some fucking reason.

the tape worm helps keep her body trim

>so we're doing 69 first haha
Her not losing the mood should have been a red flag there, bud.

>>tape worm!
it was actually tampon string
>>yuck!
explains why youre a beta virgin

Tampon string imy guessing?

I thought about it I figured she was either sucking so loudly she didn't hear it or she was drunk as fuck

OP said it was in her ass. Tampons don't usually go in anuses you virgin cucks.

thats a pretty weird place to keep a tampon, anons

Wait, they don't?

...

...

this is now a get thread

I'd kill self.

Too much of a pussy.

alright.

CHECK'D

screenshoted lol idk how i feel op that sucks rip

So why would you be embarrassed at all?

She had a tapeworm in her ass. She should be fucking mortified. She should be socially destroyed if this every got out.

Women store them in their anus for easy access so when they do have their period you just pop it out and pop it in. what kind of virgin doesn't know this?

INCLUDE ME IN THE SCREENSHOT

>inb4 it gets posted to le reddit

Go back and slurp it in like a noodle of spaghetti

'get thread'... 3 doubles. What the fuck is wrong with people.

>Not knowing that tapeworms cannot be transmitted to another human through segments shed from anus

Virgin detected...

Unless Op was actually licking the anus and it was in the pussy, or she is an alien.

You're being a little bitch. You are THIS close to losing your virginity and because of this mishap and now you're going to stay a virgin bitch forever? Grow the fuck up and get out of your goddamn basement, fucking manchild.