Anyone know the best way of getting rid of a dead body

Anyone know the best way of getting rid of a dead body

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In plain sight. Cut it up and put it in the trash little by little. No one looks in the trash if its stinky.

mail it to a church

Dump it in the ground en poor concrete over it

That's stupid. You're just increasing the frequency of times you can get caught.

Acid

Drop it down an elevator shaft and hope for the best

hydrochloric acid and a plastic bucket.

Sell it on ebay

That's how you make a dude smoothie

This isn't breaking bad kid

Eat it

Do what Walter White did

Chop it up into 6 pieces scatter them and and bury them, Dexter style if access to ocean.

Ignore it or treat it badly until it gets the message and leaves of its own accord

Acid

haha

Doesn't lime do something to dead bodies?

Maybe throw it in a pit of tar, or something where it'd sink.

Lots of places, if it's just one and nobody knows about it.

Stomp it down the drain.

Wrap in chains, drop in 500 feet of water. Boat required obviously.

thisssssss

youtu.be/ZcJjMnHoIBI

Just do what dexter did

Eat it.

Never seen it

They say put the body in a barrel and fill it with concrete. Then roll it into a large brown river and it'll stay at the bottom.

Burry it real deep like 5 m iďk,then cover it with dirt about 3 m and then put a dog or any other dead animal of your liking and burry it completely

Feed it to pigs

saved this a long long while ago for this very reason

Feed it to some hungry pigs. Theyll eat the bones and everything

hydroflouric*

The funny thing about murders is most people don't get caught. It's at 64% solved rate and most come from retarded niggers killing each other

There is no dead body.

>dig a deep hole
>have sex with the body
> dump it in the hole
>cover with dirt but don't fill it up yet
> kill a dog
> dump dog in the hole and close it
> the dead dog will make it look like a false positive by the police if they find it

Dump it in the woods with something to attract animals so it gets eaten.
Bury it.
Dump it in a body of water with rocks.
Encase it in concrete.
Break it apart and dispose of the parts individually using another method here.
Buy maggots, let them eat the flesh, then grind bones into dust and mix it in with compost.

Knowing where you live in relation to water/forest/etc would be helpful.

I thought I killed my brother once. I live in the middle of nowhere and was wheeling his ass deep into the woods to bury. He woke up halfway there. I could have easily checked if he was alive but I was in panic mode

spare tire and burn it in a car trunk or like people said pigs

Police know to check further if they're suspicious of a dead body.

Story?

pigs

No, surely they'll fall for something posted as an idea online every time someone asks this sort of question

Tell DeeDee to gtfo my lab?

Find a cemetary with a fresh grave dug, one which will be used for someone else coffin. Dig a bit more and bury it there so the new coffin and dirt covers it

Melt with hydrocloric or stronger acid in a bath tub or oil barrel

Pigs

Biological soap powder, those enzymes will digest all the goo. Take the liquor and pour into a fast moving stream. Demineralise the bones with concentrated acetic acid. Take the soft bones and feed to a dog. Burn all items after use, burn down the barn where you have done this; then kill and eat the dog, just to be sure.

underrated

So either you are randomly buying pigs or a farmer is finding a half eaten corpse.

is that you bricktop?

make a ten feet grave, throw the body in, then bury six feet of dirt, take a dead animal (dog, deer) then throw that in, then bury the rest of the dirt.

if dogs came by because cops, then they'd find the dog and think it's a false positive.

Didnt you watch Snatch?

Duct tape it to the side of the police department.
They won't even check it, because they know the person responsible has gigantic steel balls who don't fuck around.

hydroflouric, though low ph is a weak acid, prob need to throw off it's equilibrium to do any damage. A strong base like sodium hydroxide (drain cleaner) and and a table salt will really do some damage. Haven't tried it myself,though.

Do you know what nemesis means?

What does this button do?

kek

Well I'm gonna take a bath in kerosene now. FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

This, use a mixer and mix human with water. Then pour it down directly into sewer. The sewer pipe below the sink is easy to take off.

Be sure to use alot of water so it doesn't get stuck.

Even if it does get stuck, it's only gonna be a low payed tired plummer that won't give a shit of what he's cleaning out.

Be careful on what type of acid. Look up the Snowtown murders

Stealing a pic from google images and claiming you killed someone?
Nuff said.

Dump it int the ocean and let the creatures consume it

Well I'm gonna take a bath in kerosene now. THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Nice try, FBI.
I'm not telling you my secrets!

HCl preserves the body

glue his hands to his head and hang him wrap a wire around his neck. hang him from a roof and when he hits the ground it'll look like he tore his own head off.

OP never claimed anything.

Live in Australia so you can just drive how to a bush in any direction you desire and no one will ever find it because of how vast and unpopulated this country is.

First, pull the teeth and cut off the finger tips. Put them in a 2 liter of coke.
Next, dig a hole, straight down. Pump the anus full of yogurt, the good shit with live bacteria. Then dump the body head down.
The coke will ruin the prints and teeth, the yogurt will get rid of the body as fast as possible.
That or you could just eat it and stop being a faggot.

legit retard.

...

>despite the bullet holes in his chest..

...

Extended version

>1/?

First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.
Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.
If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.

Buy 16 pigs
Chop body in 6 pcs
Pull out teeth and nails
Starve pigs for 2 days
Pigs eat body
Problem solved

>2/?

That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Fill it with candy and make it a piñata

>3/?

Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.
Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Snatch

>4/4

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

Actually a neat idea

mason verger?

Just say you tried to shoot him to stop him from hurting himself.

if you live in a rural area or are close to one a lot of farms have leech pits that have lye in it. they usually have pig pens draw off into it. the lye decomposes the feces, grounds it up and shoots it in the fields for fertilizer. the lye in the water will completely break down the body and the blades will break up the bones. they will shoot the pieces over acres and acres of field. even if they find a piece it will be next to impossible to identify
good luck

Number them 1, 2, and 4
Takes a crane to get them out

>Place body in barrel
>Mix in water and sodium hydroxide
>Wait a few days
>All that's left is coffee/cola-like substance
>Pour in well, ground, river, etc.
>Where'd body go?
>lel

topkek

What about just dumping it in your septic tank to decompose?

Nope

Eating.

Who the fuck has a septic tank? Do you leave in East Bumfuck?

Is it bad already?
No? Eat it! Avoid the brain an lumgs.
Yes? Travel to some far place, burn it, burn the bones (in a small hole to increase heat) and grind what is left. Dispose in the nearest rives that leave the city, you do not want going to the reservatory.

no, it will stink through.
If you never run the risk of search dogs - yes, otherwise - no.

The best would be to chop it in pieces and either boil and dispose (bones will disintegrate much easier after boiling) or just dispose where wild animals/pigs/dogs would eat it (like donating your fresh steaks to a dog pound).

thank you movie knowledge. I could be a serial killer if I wanted

Cmon guys this is no time to party

wow bricktop. someone saw snatch.
classic

You must be from Norway or something

>Get two more dead bodies.
>grease them
>Label them #1, #2, and #4
>Let them loose in a public area
>lol as they search for #3

10 comments before this.. for shame
>obviously the best way

>pit of tar
are you trying to save evidence for future or something?

A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.