Hey guys, I'm moving out of my apartment because my lease is up. My roommate is staying and she's a massive cunt...

Hey guys, I'm moving out of my apartment because my lease is up. My roommate is staying and she's a massive cunt. Is there anything I can do to fuck shit up without anyone knowing it was my fault? I don't want to hurt her, just piss her off a lot.

get a kitchen sponge. soak it down. wrap it up tight with string. let it dry. remove the string.

flush it down the toilet.

Brilliant

How long does that take to damage anything? I like revenge that waits till they're not expecting it.

>Weak ass shit

Get a bag of instant set cement, pour it into the shower drain, and into the toilet.

The foundation has to be cut into to fix this.

Goto curtain rod, stuff a shrimp down it, poke it down with a stick.

It takes a week to rot, and it's actually quite hard to find.

Nigger that's probably too extreme

This. I was gonna save plaster but man this is devious shit right here.

Too bad the summer's almost over. I'd say stick a dead fish in the air conditioner.

Does she have an 'ensemble' bed? the type that is made of two separate mattresses?

lift up the top mattress, put anchovies in there, and put it down again. It wont smell immediately, it's contained by the pressure of the top mattress.

If you're lucky they won't be found until they've started to absorb into the mattresses, and then she will have to buy new ones.

Upper decker the toilet.

Purchase some frozen meat, and while she's out, unscrew her air vents and place meat inside. It'll rot and stink like a motherfucker. Try something that doesn't have a strong smell at first (fish is a no-go, try beef) so it isn't immediately apparent what is wrong.

saran wrap across toilet

Rape her

yup, meat down the back of the stove is good too.

Ultimate cunt move?

Introduce bedbugs to the house.

Can't be traced to you, makes life hell, costs fucktons to fix, and landlords do not accept responsibility for it, it's the tenant that pays.

Flush tampons down the toilet until it blocks.

she will be blamed.

Sign her up for all kinds of junk mail and phone calls. Use her phone number to inquire about loans, medication, vocational education - anything and everything so she gets nonstop calls and email.

make copies of the house keys.

attach name tags to them with the address written on it.

leave in parks.

Pour a red colored kool aid mix inside of the shower head

I'm saving this thread in case I need to piss off someone in the future

take the super glue with the tiny little nozzle,
and squirt the whole fucking thing into her key hole.

And not just the door, every key hole you can find. even her car.

What will that do?

take off a wall socket, put some fish in the cavity.

someone makes an intermittent IR transmitters that change the TV channel every 30 seconds. hide one of those somewhere.

if you have the cash, hard wiring a cellphone jammer in the wall would suck.

this kills the man.

lold

stop samefaggin, it's sad.

>the poster count did not go up after your post

Oh yeah shrimp or chicken raw of course. I jammed five shrimp in my targets AC vent in their car on a hot summer day. A few days later they got rid of the car. They could never find where the stink was coming from. Idiots!

Unscrew plug panels and strip wires

Loosen nuts under sinks

Tamper with heating timer (full heat 4am every day)

Pour water in electrical items

Wait til dry

Win

> without anyone knowing it was my fault
read the whole title first fags

Any tomcats in your area?

get at least 2, and lock them in the house

(you need at least 2, it's instinctual to start marking their territory if there's another male close by)

That's why meat behind the stove is so good, it seems like a natural place it might fall by accident.

also the bedbug idea is brilliant, but unless you know filthy people you cant exactly 'go out and get some'

put a slice of fresh fish in the back of the aircon vents if you can get access

I'm going to teach you how to make a prank bomb user.
Get a few cases of apple juice NAO! Like, when you go to work, hit up a Walgreens or Albertsons and grab like 2 cases of that shit, or however many cases you need to get about 20 bottles. Or just as soon as possible. Time is of the essence OP. You're going to need a lot. Grab the juice with the soonest expiration date, and stuff that needs to be refrigerated works best.
Next, open up all of the bottle and put the lids back on. That's it. The bomb is primed. Hide the bottle wherever possible.
Bottle bomb hiding place examples:
>Duct tape to the top of a drawer on the inside of her dresser.
>In the back of a really stuffed drawer.
>Under her bed if it's full of clutter down there or that area is just really hard to see.
>Hidden inside of those ceiling light fixtures where there's a glass or plastic pane separating the lights from the actual room.
>Any crawl spaces.
>Duct taped to the inner vent wall of a bathroom vent if available.
>Put a few in that back part of the toilet. This will make that back either explode or atleast break the inner working of the toilet.
>Inside the inner workings of any appliance that you can open and has enough space in it. (Think like coffee makers, mechanical can openers, etc.)
>In any boxes in the closet.
>In the bottom or top back of the food pantry if available.
>Inside any luggage or backpacks that she doesn't use too frequently, or atleast hidden really well inside of them (most actually have a zipper that seperate a the frame of the case from the cloth and compartments that make them up, a few in that would work).
>Place a few inside of her computer, assuming she doesn't use a Mac, laptop, or single piece ASUS. You know, the box part that houses everything.

Yes I saw a few good ones, but a bunch were too obviously not accidents lol

Where would one get bedbugs without getting infested?

buy mice and put them into the walls, or ceiling.

lots of mice, so they breed. maybe pop in a loaf of bread as well, to get them started.

find someone with aids and take some of their blood. before you leave, bump into her by 'accident' as you're walking by but secretly inject the blood.

oh, but you don't want to hurt her... maybe just swipe her cell before you leave and use it to have pizzas and chinese food constantly delivered there under her name after you're gone.

rape her

mexicans or newyorkers.

i've seen this thread before...
could it be the return of the appojus bandit

You can buy roaches online or from a bait shop. Then let them loose all over the apartment. It will freak the shit out of her!

yes yes you're very clever and funny user

take the batteries out of the smoke detectors and screw the doors and windows closed while she's asleep
you might need to do her windows in advance, but she's unlikely to notice
before you screw the front door closed, make a small pile of furniture outside her bedroom door and light it on fire

You wouldn't be wrong mate.

Shit under her pillow. I did it at a party in the parents bedroom. People still talk about it!

Why that shit at the end of your post? Sounded like a great idea until you said that, kinda ruined us wanting to try it out.

before you leave take off the vent to her room and put a dead fish in there. the smell will permeate through the whole place and it will be hard to tell where it is coming from. you can also put it inside furniture if it's easier.

Smear shit on her toothbrush and then stab her.

Shoot some cum or piss into a syringe and shoot it into her toothpaste

Without the fire I don't see how it would kill her.

How do you guys recommend obtaining a dead fish? I know it isn't hard and there's fish everywhere, but what would give the best affect? Buying a fish at a fish store and killing it by suffocating it or something and then using it? Buying it a not killing it and just letting it suffocate for the joke? A store bought slice of fish intended for food consumption?

This.

Scoop peanut butter out of a jar, then shit in the jar and fill the top back with peanut butter.

Kek

do a shit into some plastic wrap. roll it up and freeze it.

Once frozen take it out, carve it into a knife and stab her with it

instant keks

Get one at the supermarket. You can get a few pounds of fish. Buying something that big at a pet store would be much more expensive.

This!!

nah just buy a fresh cut of fish, freeze it and leave in the vent, once it defrosts it will begin to smell but due to freezing it, should take longer

What are you going to do, watch her brush her teeth with shit then pull out a bayonet and run her through?! Oh that's fucking hilarious!!! I'm dying over here!! Would be great in a movie!!

Hide a dead body in a crawlspace or somewhere in the apartment.
Call the cops and make an anonymous tip.
Win

This usually takes a crane to move the mattress

Wait until she's asleep then carefully tie her hands and feet. Then put a wet towel over her head and wrap it in plastic wrap.

Genius level prank.

Do you have a bayonet? It would be easier to use a paring knife.

Ash, makes sense. Not too sure why but I had the image of my head that you were implying that I use like just a dead goldfish or plecostamus or something.

-Collect cum from random homeless people
-pour into popsicle mold and freeze
-when she sleeps ram it into her mouth and choke her to death
-let popsicle melt
-call police and report loud orgy next door
-lolz

*Ash=Aah
I have that dumb ass ASUS computer autocorrect enabled.

If you want to do it for really cheap just open a can of tuna and set it somewhere. The longer it sets the worse it gets and canned tuna is really cheap so you can get a few cans for virtually nothing.

Hide a copy of your key somewhere near the apartment, then after you've been gone a week post an ad with her photos on Craigslist saying that she has a rape fetish and wants someone to break in and "rape" her while she's sleeping. Post directions for finding the key, which will make it seem more legitimate.

A few people have tried that sort of thing, but no one ever has the balls to actually break in. Leaving the key should help.

Just buy frozen fish at the market, less than $10 then hide it while it's frozen. You'll be long gone when the fun begins!

nice

THIS

Fine somewhere to hide raw hamburger. In the ceiling works. If you have any skill with dry wall that's even better. I'm talking like 4 pounds of it. As it rots it will decay the drywall or wood, and smell horribly. Under carpet works too.

find out what instant means you fucking sinking ship.

Ideally, you could release roaches, too.

>sleep with her
>she now has AIDS

This is fucking evil and genius. Would work even better with Nutella, and seeing that she's a femcunt, she's ought to have some around.

Before you move out get a rubber glove and keep putting your finger up your ass and lightly rubbing it on things she normally touches (door handle, toothbrush, fridge handle, light switches). Don't leave any residue to make it obvious. She will eventually smell shit and not know where it's coming from, wipe your ass juice everywhere for the greatest effect.

Take a shit in her jewelry case. That'll bum her out!

kill her family and afterward tell her that it was just a prank

uwotm9

put a fish carcass somewhere she won't find.

this is a classic.
Carefully open her tampons,making sure they will be resealable.

Insert large 20 penny nails in each one.

Reseal them.

lolz

shit in her eye and give her pink eye

Empty and wash one of her shampoo bottles, then fill it with drain cleaner and put it back.

dont this makes mustard gas

release scorpions in her closet

While she sleeps take a shit in her vagina.

wake her up with a defibrillator to one of her tits

post it here

Theyre going to know, though.

leave her a donut with 30 hits of potent LSD on it.

I've done this. Its real cheap and fucks up someones day easily

I agree

OP. Shit in her moot. Then piss in her anus and then stomp her moot hole so shit gets in deep. Lol as she gets yeast infection

while she sleeps give her a lobotomy.
Gets em every time

This. Its the only one thats truly untraceable so far.

kill three prostitutes and paint 1, 2 and 4 on their bodies
she will spend forever looking for number 3!!!!

While she sleeps pour super glue all over her and her blankets. Shell wake up and be like " oh that OP was such a joker!"

If she wears contacts put some battery acid in the contact solution. Lights out bitch!

Kek. This!