Alright Sup Forums, it's that time again. We all got secrets and burdens deep in our hearts...

Alright Sup Forums, it's that time again. We all got secrets and burdens deep in our hearts. Let them out and let a Sup Forumsrother see what you got to hide.

I shaved by balls today and have no prospects for putting them into someone's mouth.

I'm one of the only legit Sup Forums posters ready to spill some nigger blood. My entire life is a lie and I hate my family. I live alone and no one knows my name. No one will miss me.

I really think that sentiment runs both ways. It's the end of the world for either's side that loses the election. I'll take my chances with 2nd ammendment rural and wealthier and Christian vs hood rat / sand nigger / wet back invading fuckers.

In college, my teacher was this young, married redhead 6/10. I was a bit older than all the students, so our ages were quite close and we "got" each other.

I overheard her talking to her friends about going out for a drink on the weekend, so I made an effort to be at the same bar.

I started talking to her when she had a few to drink and we fucked in the toilet. She had the biggest ginger bush and it tasted like strawberries. I blew inside her and she went back to her friends as my cum stained her underwear.

She gave me an A for IT and all I had to do was tongue her tasty like hash like a dog eating hot chips.

I found $320,000 in a bag by the side of the freeway. I've been spending it quietly now for 4 years. Nothing big, just good food, wine, new games when they come out, the odd holiday here or there and a buttload of whores.

I've got $75,000 left.

I used to smoke dope with an illegal hydroponic dope grower. Every 6 months he would move to a new neighbourhood, close the drapes, setup his hydro equipment, connect illegally to the grid and grow the best weed I've every had.

My girlfriend let me fuck her asshole once when she was really drunk but had never let me do it again.

I missed it so much, I started fucking around with her mates.

I've fucked 4 out of 5 and each one let me analise them and blow inside.

Each time I would wipe my cum and shit stained cock on my girlfriends side of the bed.

I lost three stone from injecting amphetamines.

As soon as I reached my target weight, I stopped the speed.

Then I fatten up again eating all the awesome food I missed.

And start again on the speed when I reach my target fat weight.

I've done 4 laps now.

Britfag here. During the holiday season, I tell everyone from work that I'm taking my holidays somewhere different like spain or greece or france.

In reality, I go to Amsterdam everytime. I hire a cheap hotel and spend all my time and money doing drugs and whores.

In the last few days of my holiday, I tan in the solarbeds to make it look like I sat in the sun for hours.

I even buy sweets from Amazon from the pretend holiday destinations and take them to work to make my holiday lie look more authentic.

I've done this 10 times now.

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

I was fucking the wife of a national sporting hero.

We would always fuck with the tv on watching him play live so we both knew exactly where he was.

My grandmother got drunk at my cousin's wedding and I took advantage of her.

right, we totally believe you bro.

Dope is meth you shithead

During summer, I bring out my full body black wetsuit and swim across to prestige yacht clubs and break into boats.

I've made over 250K on all the stuff I've nicked and bought a house and three cars. Putting a boat on water is no security at all if you aren't afraid to get wet.

Not downunder faggot

I mean, as long as you control your habits it's not the worst thing. Definitely not healthy or anything, but we're all gonna die anyway. As long as you don't become a junkie, you're doing alright.

The trick is to not tell anyone and only take small amounts at a time.

Why don't you just be honest and tell people you like to do drugs and hookers? Everyone's got something, and that's honestly a lot better holiday than most people have

And in the 70's dope was marijuana. Fucking kids...

How do you manage not to get caught? That's a fairly high risk factor.

so how exactly does one find 320K in a bag at the side of the freeway? Where are you from? And how were you sure that the bag wasn't marked or you weren't being set up?

This isn't the 70's, pops. Ask someone on the street for a bag of dope and I can promise 9/10 times you're getting meth.

My bosses wife has been coming onto me for years. So last Christmas party, I dragged her drunk ass into the rear lane and fucked her solid.

Ever since, she's been threatening to tell my boss and get me hired unless I do wierd sex ga,es with here.

I honestly think this was her plan all along.

Last month she strapped on this purple dildo and fucked me until I could barely move.

I wierdly enough got the hardest boner I had ever had from that assfucking.

I had started to have enough and got a bit rough on her last week. While I was fucking her I grabbed her neck and started throttling her until she started to gasp.

I told her this was enough.

She hasn't come by my desk this week yet and I'm actually missing it.

I work for a church. It really wouldn;t go down well.

i shot harambe

i have a child nobody knows about

My mom actually blew me.

Not really. Its dark, water is dark, I'm dark, I can see where the cameras are, I can guess which boats are alarmed. And even if an alarm goes off, all I do is jump back into the water and swim back to where I first got in.

Peope think boats are out of bounds. But in truth, they are just floating cars with no doors ( well some are).

I wear my wife's panties when she's not around

As per the thread that died, I like to wear my little sisters 9-10yr panties. No homo or pedo or anything, just like wearing them for some reason. I sometimes wear them to work under my boxers. Dread having an accident at work and them all seeing them, but also that makes it more exciting.

Front pic for the guy that asked in the other thread.

Go vegan and run for a mile or two every week.

My best friend is a tran autist, and deep down I love him so much, but I just dont know what to do...

I stopped for a piss. It was there, sitting between a couple of rocks and a small tree.

Just damn luck I guess.

I'm not telling you where I'm from .

I didn't even think if it was marked at the time as I was innocently urinating, saw bag, looked inside, put it in my car and took it home.

I sat on it for three months waiting and wondering what to do and then slowly I just started dipping in.

The best thing about my routine is that I get the full body rushes from doing speed and I get the awesome flavour from eating amazing food.

What's your name? Have you posted here before in your own thread?

I shot a marble using a catapault at my little sister and it gave her a hernia.

In hospital while getting the hernia fixed, my sister almost died from a reaction to the anaesthetic.

Someone had to hand pump oxygen into her for 12 hours.

I have herpes and HPV. I don't really care. Fucked about 40 different people and one of those was a post OP ts.

Abused drugs like mad when I was younger, i'm jaded now.

I regret NOT fucking my ex friends girlfriends.

I've had a millionaire lick my asshole, suck my dick, and buy me things. I'm a guy.

I definitely know the alphabet agencies are watching this thread.


I actually look forward to these threads.

My parents ignored my pleas to close their business that was losing money hand over foot.

So I stopped them from visting their grandaughter.

They both just died.

You're a fucking pussy what in gods name compelled you to wait 3 fucking months. it seems like you are trying to make is 'sound' real, somehow.

I am fixated with fucking nurses.

So every Friday, I frequent either of three bars near the main city hospitals.

To this day I think nurses are the horniest lovers on earth.

Disgusting.

I once fucked a watermelon.

I want to see my gf used

>threatening to tell my boss and get me hired
>hired

oh no, user

I also like to play with my daughter's panties, I would never do anything to hurt or corrupt her, but I love the idea of guys getting off to her or the taboo. I've even had them come over and jack with them.

I've killed two people. One in Iraq (strangled) and one while working as a guard at a Penetentary.

nurse here

it true

ex gf from high school. stayed friends, since we all had the same friends, for the past 10 yrs. she recently got out of a 4yr relationship with her boyfriend that i had become friends with. he left her and moved to another state. the night it happened, her sister (one of my best friends) asked me if i can check up on her the next day since she was staying home from work. i went over and spent the day with her trying to keep her mind off things. she was pretty distraught from it all and really angry. tht was two weeks ago. but on saturday we were at a party and she was running her hands through my hair.whenever i'd walk by shed grab my arm and hug me, leaning up against me caressing my back and I hers. it felt like high school all over again. now we dated for a while so i can read her body language like a fucking book! so i know she was into it, she started breathing heavily, pushing her hips into mine as i moved my hand down to her ass and grabbed it. after a few seconds, she moved my hand up and shoved me a bit. now we're standing in a circle talking to some friends so in retrospet, i can kinda see why she didnt want me to. but i started rubbing my fingers on her upper ass cheek. again heavy breathing and pushing her hips into mine, then she smacks my chest, pushes me away, and hugs her best friend and they run away for some girl talk. this was all right as we were all saying bye so she didnt come back. when her friend walked back after she left, i can see it in her eyes that she told her what happened whenever we made eye contact. i really don't wanna fuck this up, and her sister told me that her ex didn't have much of a sex drive.. like at all. so i know she's due for a good fucking. how should i go about this carefully??

My aunt breastfed me from age 8 to 17.

i do that all the time
feelsgoodman

Two of my co-workers have swallowed more of my sperm than my wife has. Both are married. Both are hotter than my wife. But I'm going to stay married.

...

I'm married and I have a fwb
No regrets

In Arizona dope is synonymous with black tar heroin. Some people refer to all drugs as dope. Some people say just marijuana is dope. It varies by geographical location and demographic of the person using the slang. That's how slang and local vernacular works. "Move That Dope" was a popular song in the US about selling crack so the meaning is all over the fucking place. In short, you're a faggot and you don't know everything.

Dad?

I have a suitcase full of panties ranging from young girls panties to granny panties that I have purchased from stores all over the country and I occasionally get naked and dump them all into the bathtub and get in like im taking a bath with all the panties

I've deleted four foetes

lol you are a paramedic you are supposed to save lives, not slowly destroying them

>when i was 12
>i discover porn
>one night while browsing porn sites
>i see one dude named OP literately taking large cocks in like nothing
>then i realize OP was indeed the biggest faggot around

I am a paramedic. We work in pairs at work. I have been catfishing my partner for 18 months. I can sit in the same room as him and text him and he does not catch on. I sometimes spend hours on my day off chatting with him. He is a good guy and a good work mate. He asks me for advice and I help to affirm he has a great deal going. He is solid 10/10 in love with a chick that does not exist. I keep thinking about when I will just stop catfishing him but continue because the longer I go the more it will devistate him. I'm a piece of shit.

My house mate came home one night off her tits saying someone had Rhoied her drink. I took advantage of her state and fucked her like there was no tomorrow. She woke the next day and didn't remember a thing.

I haven't had sex in 4 years and no one I tell believes me.
They all think I'm a player but I'm actually just a really needy lover.

I put a stuffed sock in my underwear and wore it to work last week and caught three office chicks gazing at my crotch. Come Friday we went out for usual drinks and I was given so much attention.

I've been stuffing that sock ever since.

I once tried to stick a pen up my ass when I was 6

I'm Taylor Swift and I've been lurking in Sup Forums for years.

I haven't had sex in 3 years and I'm in the same boat. But I do also have to say I'm more of a hopeless romantic and fucking random girls or girls that I date for short periods of time don't ever get to my point of when I'll give it up because I think it's too long of a period; varies.

Side note: I feel great and one with my body and mind.

>like a dog eating hot chips
Kek

one night while walking home alone
i see these 2 hot blonde chicks
they begin following me
i had no idea why they were following me
then one of them corner me and as soon as i turn the other way the other closed me in
i was confused in scared they both tell me everything is going to be okay
one of them get down and starts to unzip my cock and i realized i was being raped by 2 hot chicks
after each of them take turns as my cock pounds each one of them while my eyes is running out in tears because of muh rape culture
i realized feminism was right all along and became one the next day to share my rape stories on 4chin

My wife's best friend found out I had a thing for her when I owned up to filming her in the bathroom. Now we're fucking and planning to move in together.

I took a shit on my neighbors porch. five times to be exact. I wait for morning and watch out my window as he goes to check the mail. he usually doesn't notice it until he steps in it. I do it randomly on different days for no reason at all other than to see his reaction.

no im actually taylor swift, this bitch is a liar.

I shower while sitting in the tub

Why?

go back to imgur faggot

I miss him so much... we used to bate together for the cam and then my psychiatric told me to put an end on it. Now, I can only feel sorrow. I still love him a lot... Guess I will never feel that Swedish huge dick.But, I will always love you. Secretly and forever.

LMFAO. I am going to startling this. My neighbor is a cop. Gave me a ticket about a year ago. Thank you, you fucking genius.

Fuck off you left us for the trendy SJWs.

> (You)
>LMFAO. I am going to startling this. My neighbor is a cop. Gave me a ticket about a year ago. Thank you, you fucking genius.
the best part is when he doesn't wear shoes and his face just goes to instant anger/disgust.

i can't take a shit with my shirt on.
its like squeezing a cucumber through a keyhole if im wearing one...no clue why.
does anyone else have this problem?

I get this a lot

i enjoy jerking off, more than sex
I started young and became skilled
Ive had sex with 3 chicks in the last few years, very kinky and great, and ive gotten head froma few more
but no one knows how i feel more than myself
if I use my hand I can stop and go however I want, I hold back and can take as long as 5 hours to have a double/triple orgasm
sex is just 10-20 minutes and doesnt feel as good

Join the club m8 ive been on a dry spell too but its cuz im ugly af

Yep same here.

I steal my family pads to taste, even eat my wife bloody pussy out and ass unwashed after work

wtf enjoy your bactteria!

>dope is meth
>kek

they check out your dong before u fuckem?

Drug counselor and former addict here - you have no clue what you're talking about. Dope is heroin in 99% of the major cities you go to. No one ever calls meth "dope" where I'm from. You must live in a shitty hick-stain of a city.

In my area, being doped up or looking for dope is just drugs in general. You ask a dealer, here, and they basically ask you to pick your poison. Straight across the country, it's like this.

I drive alot for work and have to eat alot on the road while I work, I often get napkins from these restaurants and stuff them in my pants to look like a big dick, I then drive though the drive thru just to get a reaction from the girls working the window. Got a nice reaction today from a 16 yr old at Wendys

Peter Griffin? Is that you?

I shot a man in reno, just stood there and watched him die.

If I ever see my cousins baby granddaughter, Im going to drop it on its head so it dies

Story bro

I know that I will probably not get with her, but I still hold onto hope that I will. Even though she seems almost mildly autistic. (highest level of functioning)

I still think about what could have been if I played my cards differently.

I still think that it can happen in a few months time maybe

man, im doing this now

I can shit with a shirt on but by god if it is not so much better without one.

My fiancée of 5 years is fairly religious even to the point that it has quite harshly halted our sex life. I am not in the least bit religious but she doesn't know that. I really love her but honestly that shit gets to me so badly and I've never thought about sex in an emotional way until I've been deprived of it for so long, and I've thought about if we ever break up just calling up my slut of a ex and fucking her just to feel something in my heart.