Bonjour, mon name is Monsiour Ken

Bonjour, mon name is Monsiour Ken.

I’m a 27 year old American Francophile (ouiaboo for you barbarians). I bake baguettes and croissants in my kitchen, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior French games (Assassin's Creed, Rayman, Dishonored, Just Dance).

I train with my baguette every day, this superior bread can cut clean through hunger because it is baked at over thousand degrees (Celsius), and is vastly superior to any other bread on earth. I earned my baking license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak French fluently, both Parisian and Quebecois dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about French history and their Napoleonic code, which I follow 100%

When I get my French visa, I am moving to Paris to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a member of the French Foreign Legion or write for Asterix!

I own several berets, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to France, so I can fit in easier. I kiss everyone on the cheek at least four times and speak French as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in France!

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You should follow the Code Civil, mon ami, though indeed almost half of the original articles from the Napoleonic Code are still enforced.

Not bad, I was making my own version in French, I think I might borrow some of your ideas.

Well done

Do one for German!

>I am moving to Paris

I advise you to move to Lourdes where the true Catholic French Culture is preserved, Paris is merely a cesspool of degeneracy and multiculturalism to stay polite.

>I bake baguettes and croissants in my kitchen
Wtf nobody does this here.

>Lourdes
>True Catholic French Culture
>A Disneyland for grandmas in the periphery of France

I never get if French posters are trolling or stupid.

What Frenchie things do you do?

shitposting aside, where can a right-of-center American who speaks French well move in France and have a good life?

egcellent mon ami :DDD

>both Parisian and Quebecois dialect

Hah

I go to the bakery to buy some baguettes or croissants.
I buy wine in the supermarket.
I drive into roundabouts with my car.

Things like this.

t butthurt atheinigger

go back sucking achmed's dick in your cesspool of islam, antiracism, and cukery motherfucker


youtube.com/watch?v=djp2zILfe6o

New England has hundreds of ROTARIES

You guys seriously use baguette bags over there? Will I get any street cred for using them?

Gutentaug, mein name ist Herr Ken.

I’m a 27 year old American Deutchophile (German-lover for you Romans). I wake up at 5:00 AM every day and eat a pretzel, and spend my days perfecting my beer recipe and playing superior German games (Tractor Simulator, Lumberjack Simulator, Air Traffic Control Tower Simulator).

I train with my fencing saber every day, this superior sword can cut clean through cheeks and leave a badass scar if treated properly, and is vastly superior to any other swod on earth. I earned my fencing license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak German fluently, both Prussian and Bavarian dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about German history and the creed of House Hapsburg, which I follow 100%

When I get my German visa, I am moving to Berlin to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a professional yodeler or manufacture high quality cars!

I own several lederhosen, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Germany, so I can fit in easier. I sieg heil everyone I meet on the street and speak German as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in Germany!

>ROTARIES

Howdy Sup Forums, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

The baker give us paperbags like pic.

2/10 you can do better.

This is among the most French pictures I've ever seen in my life.

>superior French games
>Assasin's Creed (aka we made a good game, improved it once and then kept releasing the same game over and over)

>because it is baked at over thousand degrees (Celsius)
>baking stale baguettes
>not celebrating the glory of the bayonet, which can cut through a German panzer (which is why the Germans targeted the French first in WW2: their fighting power was feared and respected)
>not celebrating the Char B-1 Bis which can take 140 anti-tank shells without sustaining any kind of critical damage (not even joking here)

>I speak French fluently, both Parisian and Quebecois dialect
>Not langues d'oïl and langues d'oc

>a prestigious High School
>not a prestigious Grande École

>I hope I can become a member of the French Foreign Legion
>When you're intending to become French

>I own several berets
>Wearing basque headgear to prove your Frenchness

Meet me after class.

asspergers.jpg

>Assassin's Creed
stopped reading there gtfo normalfag

*eat a bretzel
*if you mention superior german games you have to mention Gothic!
*Prussian is no german dialect, it's a culture. You can choose between so many meme dialects like hessian or suebian
*House Habsburg is Austrian, House Hohenzollern is German
*Lederhosen and Yodeling is bavaria only, not berlin, so you want to move to Munich
You could add something like 'I drive with manual gear all the time', but creative all along

Are you Germans on vacation ou c'est que vous avez des problèmes en reconnaître le sarcasme ?

Fucking Christ how goddamn autistic is this cunting place oh my dear lord

France has more or less half of the rond-points of the world (around 30 000). We just like them that much.

MY BAIT

Isn't Basque part of France?

5 bucks says they don't even know the Ken-sama pasta.

I thought the Hapsburgs were the ones who called the shots in the HRE? Jeez, my European history must be bad, sorry.

No, Basque is part of Portugal

baka you'd think you CHIs would know Basque is in Méjico.

>be german
>be called autistic
Wow, give me some news. All of europe was dissapointed at your weak army, you had heavy artillery and all and some russia backed farmers BTFO you out of your own country. Thats Iraq level.

Please change remove Assassin's Creed with something else. Almost nothing in AC is made in France. Same could be said for Rayman actually (and probably Just Dance, I didn't see the credits roll).

If you truly want to be le Ouiboo, pick Little Big Adventure, Alone in the Dark, Beyong Good And Evil and Another World.

I was just thinking about how much I love France today....

are fracophiles really a problem??

You can get the French nationality at the end of your service in the Légion. So it's legit.

long story short:
Hohenzollern become Dukes of Brandneburg. He marries the only child (daughter) of the Duke of Prussia (former teutonic order) who was mad and forming a personal union Brandenburg-Prussia, becomes King in Prussia, figth 1. 2. and 3. slesian war (known as french and indian war in anglosphere) and become superpower after the war. Then napoleon happend and prussia get a lot of land, bismark using superior diplo strats to fight the three unification wars, basicly using the naivity and arrogance from austria and france to form the german empire. bam, von Hohenzollern becomes Emperor of the secound german empire

I thought Napoleon completely fucked the HRE because he wanted to expand French influence at the cost of HRE and Austrian nobility, caused it to collapse, and thus accidentally set the stage for Bismark a generation later to unify everything into the German Empire.

basicly true, Napoleon dismantled the HRE by 1800 but Austria gained a lot of wealth back after the coference of vienna 1815
The unification wars where around 187X

Edit: the emperor, archduke of austria, dismantled the HRE so napoleon couldn't force him to write the crown over to him, thus give him legitimacy. In the end, the Archduke of Ausrtia was crowned Emperor of Austria-Hungary by the austrian parliament while Napoleon crowned himself.

Interesting, I had no idea that was his motive. This stuff is barely touched upon in American history classes. We barely even learn about Napoleon.

>people who get buttblasted and start ranting about shitskins at every mention of their capital

lol we have those people too

Napoleon was an ursuper, a bastard to every other country in europe. his brothers / cousins in Spain and Italy could only held to there power because of him being the emperor of france.
I mean, he won nearly every battle in his life, but the he lost nearly all his men to father winter in russia and then lost to the 8. coalition in Leibzig and then against wellington and blüchner in waterloo. Just two battles and 15 years of victory and being supreme where done.
So, in the end, he know he needed legitimacy. If the electors of the HRE would have elected him, he would have been reached an level of untouchebleness by other monarchs

I had no idea he needed peoples' approval like that. My impression was that he just did whatever he felt like, and his greatest problem was that Britain could fuck with him without his being able to retaliate due to its island status.

I read that in a French accent.

Wesh, je m'appelle André Müller.

J'ai 27 ans et je suis un francophile allemand (ouiaboo pour vous crétins). Je fais des baguettes et des croissants au four dans ma cuisine et je passe tous les jours en perfectionant cette art culinaire. Je lis les BDs franco-belgique et les dessins animé hyper chouette (Asterix, Tintin, les Schroumpfs et le Wakfu).

Je m’entraîne avec mon baguette chaque jour, puisque ce pain peut couper le faim dû à être boulangé à 10 000 dégrées métriques(Celsius). C’est la meillieur produit de pâtisserie au monde, même meillieur que tous les pains allemands. J’ai déjà gagné mon diplôme de boulangeur et je m’améliore chaque jour.

Je france bien, couramment dans les deux dialects, Parisien et Québecois et je peux rapper en verlan aussi. Je suis un connaisseur de toute l’histoire française qui est en fait l’histoire de tout le monde parce que la Grande Nation a touché tous les continents !

Quand je reçois mon billet de TGV, je déménage à Paris pour m’inscrire à une Grande École pour plus d’immersion dans cette culture magnifique. J’espère que je deviendra un soldat de la Légion Étrangère pour défendre la Patrie, la laicité et la Francophonie contre l’impérialism anglo-saxonne !

Je possède plusieurs bérets que je porte en ville. Il faut s’habituer avant que j’arrive en France, pour l’assimilation maximale ! Je baise chacun six fois aux joues et je parle la langue de Molière le plus souvent possible, mais rarement les gens répondent. Peut-être je dois m’enduire avec plus de ognons (en latin: oignons).

On y va et à+ !

desu, from what I understand, Britain was just a stick to his pride. They where sitting on there island, if all other monarchs in europe whould have accepted him, he would have been save. Frances land army was unbeateble until 1814, and then only the united power of all big nations of europe could defeat Napoleon.
Other exsamples of history where someone don't had enough legitimacy and failed are Cesar, the two roman civil wars, the latin empire.. that the people or norway don't accept the german puppet gouvernment and still support there king in exile.. hell, lets call the baltics in as well. If the west would have accepted that russia annexed them, they wouldn't have come independet after the collaps of the USSR.
Lecitimacy is a weapon! It's used against Serbia nowadays, when states accept the independece of kosovo or russia supporting the independece of donensk in east-ukrain

>Wesh, je m'appelle André Müller.
>J'ai 27 ans et je suis un francophile allemand (ouiaboo pour vous crétins). Je cuis des baguettes et des croissants au four dans ma cuisine et je passe mes journées à perfectionner cet art culinaire. Je lis les BDs franco-belges et regarde des dessins animé hyper chouettes (Asterix, Tintin, les Schroumpfs et Wakfu).
>Je m’entraîne avec ma baguette chaque jour, puisque ce pain peut couper la faim grâce à sa cuisson à 10 000 degrés Celsius dans le système international. C’est la meilleur produit de boulangerie au monde, même meilleur que tous les pains allemands. J’ai déjà obtenu mon diplôme de boulanger et je m’améliore chaque jour.
>Je parle le français couramment, y compris les dialectes parisiens et québecois, et je peux rapper en verlan aussi. Je suis un fin connaisseur de toute l’histoire française, qui embrasse l’histoire du monde, car que la Grande Nation a touché tous les continents !
>Quand je recevrais mon billet de TGV, je déménagerai à Paris pour m’inscrire à une Grande École pour plus d’immersion dans cette culture magnifique. J’espère devenir un soldat de la Légion Étrangère pour défendre la Patrie, la laicité et la Francophonie contre l’impérialisme anglo-saxon !
>Je possède plusieurs bérets que je porte en ville. Il faut que je m'y habitue avant d'arriver en France, pour une assimilation maximale ! J'embrasse chacun six fois sur les joues et je parle la langue de Molière le plus souvent possible, mais rarement les gens me répondent. Peut-être je dois m’enduire de plus d'oignons (en latin: oignons).
>J'y vais, à+ !

Wow, je te remercie !

>d'oignons

I left out one 'i' because it was supposed to be a joke about the new orthographic reforms.

>Degaulle


Petain is the true epitome of Frenchness

bitte schön