I have twenty thousand dollars in cash, which must not enter the banking system...

I have twenty thousand dollars in cash, which must not enter the banking system. Where do i hide this where cops and robbers won't find it?

give it over here, I'll hold it for ya

how many people know that you have got this money cash? this is relevant

nice try, Bank of America

physical assets

precious metals, gems, bullets...

Donate it all to charity

just me and all of Sup Forums , nobody important

The wall.

Put it ininside a hollow wall

buy gold and other shit so its not acutally money you have there

This

Just give it to me, I can keep it safe.

so, hold them in the house. put them in a baggage and put it under the bed or up on a closet.
try to spend them instead of spending money in your bank account. 20k is not so big amount...i think you will spend it in 2 years.

If nobody knows that you have these money, well they will not rob in your house.

This is the best way.

nope. got robbed a few years back, thieves confirmed to go through closets and under the bed.

Your ass

>yfw thieves can actually steal all of this stuff

any security system? any contract with private police?

lolwut
no
i'm just your regular user who got some cash with a not very nice backstory to it.

Purchase rechargeable credit cards and online cash vouchers, deposit in online poker account, play bog standard early 2000s TAG poker until you have cycled 20k through the system, about break even, maybe win or lose a small amount, doesn't matter, withdraw to bank account, claim it all as winnings, tax man doesn't ask questions, problem solved.

This is entry level laundering. Not that anybody would give a fuck about 20k anyway.

In a box? In the ground?

I was thinking of buying little gold coins but that's just the same problem isn't it?

Thanks user.

Where do you live fagget? Unless you're on some overcrowded little shithole like my country you could find somewhere to bury it.

It's how I do it, but I'm going to be perfectly honest with you dude, you could just walk into your bank and deposit it.

It's 20k, nobody will notice.

You go on localbitcoin and buy 20k worth of buttcoins from local people with cash. As soon as your get your buttcoins you sell them and transfer your cash to ???

This seems like a easy solution too good to be true.

or you could open a safety deposit box at the bank and put your cash inside it.

I'll add that I won more than twice as much in a home game last year and dropped it straight into my savings account all at once. Not so much as a raised eyebrow.

Tellers are more suspicious when you walk in with $500 in coins than they are $50k in cash, and the tax man only cares about the big money.

and where u hide the coins? yes u will have more space to hide it but... same with diamonds and jewels... plus u will haveto buy it in paper and then with the gold u have to sell it and maybe the value after a time its different... i save all the money behind a wardrove so its veeeery dificult to see and nobody will destroy the wardrove because of nothing... i cant send pics for security but i think its more safe...

Work as a conveyancing solicitor. Have Clients from China buying fucking huge parts of London just to launder around 2-3 million.

I wouldn't worry about your 20k ;)

Go buy some stocks in a stable company

>www.hsbc.co.uk

They got caught laundering money for the Mexican drug barons. I don't see why they wouldn't do it for you.

except any jew can smell your money hidden in the wardrobe.

I have my hidden stash inside of the pockets of a pair of cargo shorts that I keep in the laundry basket. It's near-impossible to find but if you are lacking focus there is a risk that you'll wash it of course. I do keep it in a sealed plastic bag just in case, though I am the kind of person who wouldn't fuck it up. (Also never ever wear shorts which helps me remember)

It's not super easy. The volume of hands you'd have to play at the stakes you'd have to pick to cycle through 20k safely is pretty significant.

Let's say you play 4 tables at once at 500NL and it takes you 300 hands (3 hours) to put 500 in the middle, that's 30 hours of work to clean some money you already have.

the "gold jewelry in fridge" trick?

I think I'm more worried about thieves than the feds now, since 20k ain't a thang

>conveyancing solicitor
it is between the wall an a 2mtrs tall and 2.50mtrs large wardrove, u cant even get it without destroying it and no one would do that if they dont know is it there

Hollow out a part of your floor, find a way to cover it inconspicuously, then put a safe in there. Then put your money in that safe.
As long as the money itself isn't being tracked, you can spend it over time, like said.

except a jew.

kek. fucking savage m8

at least they dont steal in your house, they only steal the global power and the banks...

Not bad.

Even better. Although I have heard rumors that some criminals check which people that purchases safes since they know they'll have valuables, and if the safe is small and shitty enough they can likely just pick it up and take it with them rather than having to break into it at the scene of the crime.

Put money in pooper and timestamp plz

Sup Forums

[x] sick porn
[x] racism
[x] facebook whores
[x] money laundering

Now i understand how weak reddit is

Do all the paperwork to form a cash business of some type. Food service is always good. Make of fake receipts for supplies you never bought. Then you can show $1000 a day or so in profits and have it all laundered in a month. Of course you'll be paying taxes but it will be clean.

must be good with wood floor but i have tiles so not possible for me

he wants to hide it... not laundrey it... if you laundrey it everybody will see your account balance, the point is that no one have to know it

Bolt the safe down to the foundation then, or weld it into some nearby fixed metal.
Also, it goes without saying, don't buy a shitty safe.

No you fucking idiot. Scd C is the highest chance of audit and then you're totally fucked when the IRS Field Agent shows up and goes through every last dime of your finances.

OP, just get it someplace secure and only use it every so often when your legit income falls short.

reroll faggots

>INVEST IN BINCOINS

Buy up a bunch of Rolex watches and toss them in a safe deposit box.

Hollow out parts of the wall, then distribute it throughout the house.

again, u can do it with wood, but in a building made of bricks u cant, too easy to find, no possibility to make more than 1 or 2 and high risk of perforating through the next room, maybe another house, u have to paint the hollow so even u can access the money and pray to get the exact paint

You got a backyard?

lel

ok I thought abt this too.

Look at furniture, heavy one, you can make a drawer hidden. There might be a space between the floor and the furniture you can use it..

in a wall, on the floor > move bed over it

hey guys i really need to hack a Facebook account, somberly can help me?? this person is using my personal information and photos and i really want to stop this bitch!

please HELP ME!!!

>20k is not so big amount...i think you will spend it in 2 years

>mfw I spent 80k in 6 months

oh look, a cop.

nope, and i dont think about burry it somewhere

Buy CSGO skins. Foolproof money will never fail cyka blyat

Tape it somewhere inside your fridge, somewhere out of sight.

If you're worried about U.S banks you can pay a portion of the money to someone who can transfer the funds into an offshore account so that the money can't be held under the U.S legal system.
I wanna know the story nigger.

Buy a bunch of Rits cracker boxes and take all the crackers and put however much you can fit in every box.
Or just save empty food boxes

Buy a negro. Let him have children rent them and and breed them. Get more negros. Continue renting and breeding till you have hundreds. Sell them all and retire.

>tax man can't do shit

phishing.
yesterday we have a thread about it and i discovered that is kinda easy and 99% succes

I don't know what fees they charge in the US, but you could make a quick anonymous society, put the money in it and hire yourself as a consultant, then take the society down.

PayPal accounts, less than 10k each.

again, the point is taht nobody can know about it, if you laundrit everybody know u have it

Put it in your anus

its a good idea... but some nigger thief could think about it

Can you take apart a heavy, inexpensive appliance?
You can store it inside there.

Ice fry

Oh i thought the problem was that it was dirty. Umm... Just keep it hidden and use it to pay for shit like cigs, beer, food, and other small items.

Which one? The oven or the washer/dryer?

Use your best judgement, I don't know what they're like.

Gold

the story being fence.jpg

Dont tell the story

Online gambling site, enter all funds, spend $2 or ¥ £ or fucking what l, withdraw?
???
Profit?

Can you give me 20€

i'll tell ya what you do OP.

use that money on all your menial shit. you've got 20k worth of groceries, cigs, booze, drugs. whatever.

whenever you spend a dollar of your "money" put another dollar in the bank.

this way you're spending your ill gotten gains on basic shit and by the time it runs out you'll have 20k of savings that nobody can cry about.

alright since most of /b are financial retards let me tell you what you are gonna do so that money stays safe for you and you will get more money over time

Let me introduce you to the rat whole
>give people you trust money
>make them invest the money in their name
>use a foreign account to evade taxation
>invest wisely to see investment grow
>profit
doing this way will not trace back to you
and knowing your friends are honest good people you should have the money returned to you

Put it under your floor board or in the walls of your house

> trust
> money

nigga you gay.
I lel'd nonetheless

$20k isn't enough for them

this

but you'll have to hide the money so:

1)Don't put it all in one place

2)have most of it in a secure place

3)have some of it somewhere easily accessible so you can spend that without having to dig up the money every time you want to spend it

4)don't have it all in your house (optional)

5)use it to buy illegal things i.e. weed or stuff that wont be tracked like food

6)don't tell people about it you'll want to but don't and if you must do it on Sup Forums or some shit where nobody will believe you

7)but a bunch of pic related

8)???

9)profit

i guess that's why i am a broker and make 6 figures a year

>give people you trust money
>make them invest the money in their name

that shit is theirs now you aren't getting shit back also that money is illegal so they'd also have to launder it

forgot pic

thats why i said invest in forgien accounts different countries have different laws then we do, countries like switzerland and china will take physical cash with out asking questions and put them in other accounts names when in reality its in your name

>The stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

don't believe you

Two words OP:
Gay porn.

alright
Not every one can be a Merrill Lynch fag

op buy drugs sell for profit save up legit money by spending you ill gotten gains on what you can they launder money through some business you buy

probably pretty profitable

>IRS Field Agent shows up and goes through every last dime of your finances.
And can't prove that you didn't have that much business last month?
I don't think you know how money laundering works.

Fake purchases are entry level money laundering
you'd think the IRS wouldn't smell that shit a mile away

I'm late to the thread. Has anyone suggested that you hide it up your asshole yet?

thats why you use foreign accounts to invest numbers like this

But you believe OP has 20,000 filthy real dollars and is worried about hiding it from niggerthieves instead of blowing it all on hookers and crack in one weekend