I know one of you degenerates can help me. My goal: to attach a suction cup dildo to the ceiling of the shop where I work.
Now, my shop is fucking huge, and the ceiling is very tall. There's tons of pipes and supporting beams and conduit, A/C vents, and the beauty of the joke, for me, is that it might take weeks, or even months before someone happens to notice it
My question is, will your average suction cup dildo, thrown skillfully, with enough force, be able to attach itself to a smooth ceiling? Would any sort of grease help make good suction? I know nothing of suction cup dildo's suction abilities, or how much force it takes to make good suction
Because of the balls on the dildo, more weight is distributed toward the side with the suction cup.
You'll likely throw it, let it hit the ceiling, and the head of the penis will take your eye out
have fun
Lucas Robinson
Fingernail glue. Bonds instantly.
Anthony Ortiz
Now if your talking about a high quality 200$ bad dragon dildo. I suggest getting on top of chair to give yourself at least a little leeway, Make sure the dildo is fairly straight, your not going to want a limp one thats curved. Should be sturdy and straight, therefore making the dildo more aerodynamic. Trust me, I have a Dildo stuck on a cieling fan where I work(I work at EA by the way.) My senior director never notices it when he walks by.
Luke Bailey
sure
Nathan Harris
I'd think the weight of the balls behind the suction cup would help it stick, vs a non-balled dong. I'm pretty sure you're just avn a giggle. I'm doing this one way or the other, just trying to get some insight before I try
There's no getting on a chair, we're talking at least 25 feet high ceiling. Also the dong will be hanging straight down. Although the cost of the dildo factoring into its suction capabilities was something I'd considered. Amazon has them as cheap as $20, but if I gotta spend $50 to get good suction I will, this prank means a lot to me
I will deliver once I've acted
Evan Brooks
If i know anything about suction cup dildos, and I think I do, it's that it's quite difficult to throw them at a surface even a couple meters from you and have it stay suctioned securely to the surface. You'll have a very hard time trying to get it up there by throwing it. If you want it to stay suctioned to the ceiling, you need to find a way to get right up there and push the balls of the dildo firmly against the surface.
Jayden Wood
but touching the balls would be gay
Eli Edwards
well you wear a glove obviously
Ian Kelly
As someone with one, I can confirm that this will in no possible way work. You have to wet it and force it pretty hard and even then, I'd be impressed if it sticks for more than a few hours considering the roof is likely subject to hotter, dryer air than what's typical at the operating level. Another thing to do would just be to find a high place to put it and make it look like it belongs there like on a top shelf at a warehouse.
William Nguyen
See this is the kind of info I needed. I had suspected I wouldn't be able to get it to suction just by throwing it. I do, however have a back up plan. Being a mechanic as I am, I have access to stereo speaker magnets, which are circular and come in varying sizes. If need be I'll glue an appropriately sized speaker magnet to the base and go with that route. Magnets and miracles and whatnot. All I'd have to do then is throw it so that the base is facing the right way as it gets within an inch of the various metal things on my ceiling
This is why I asked you guys
Gavin Ramirez
Also, my secondary suction cup dildo prank is as follows. I have a shop foreman who is a fat, old, lazy, worthless, Louisiana redneck who's incredibly homophobic. My idea was to suction cup a dildo to the windshield of his car. He goes out to his car, sees the dong, gets mad, and goes to grab it an pull it off, but I've lubed it well, so he ends up just jerking it off. Yeah, sure, he gets it off eventually, but it makes him uncomfortable for a few minutes and he needs to go back into the shop to clean his hands
James Wilson
Regarding the shop foreman, get a cheap glass cutter, and carve the profile of a dildo in his back window, so he sees it whenever he looks through his rear view mirror.
Cameron Diaz
Well that's crossing the line between a harmless prank and vandalism, user. I'm out to fuck with people not commit crimes or cost anyone money
Aiden Moore
How about you apply crazy glue to the dildo and place it on the rooftop of his car? And then lube the everliving fuck out of it so he'll jerk it some more before realizing it's stuck.
Fingers all smelling like anal lube and what not
P.S. Bonus points for a little Nutella on the tip of the dildo.
Jonathan Edwards
Do this and film it. I laughed just thinking about it.
Noah Bailey
see
Tyler Sullivan
Just put it in the swimming pool. It usually takes a crane to get it out
Joshua Reed
kek
Brody Bell
Hmm, then maybe skip the crazy glue, just anal lube and the car.
You could also stuff it in the escape of the car. Or somewhere where he won't notice it straight away while driving. Only to see that he has been driving with a huge dildo in the back of his car all day.
Christian Anderson
Believe me user, if I can I will
This same worthless foreman waits around every day for the break truck (food truck) that comes around every day at about 10. I installed a two-tone air horn in my car for the fuck of it. Somebody pointed out that it sounds like the air horns on the break truck that it honks when it comes around to notify everyone of it's presence.
So naturally after hearing that, I drove my car around the back door and honked my horn in the same pattern the break truck does, and sped off, thus leading to my fat, eternally hungry, foreman walking outside only to look around in confusion. There was accidentally some collateral damage as a few bros walked outside too expecting food when there was none
Kayden Cruz
...
James Edwards
Any cameras in the general location and do you have access to he area after working hours.
Jackson Morales
See if you can get it on another surface Maybe get it on a wall and push it as high as you can up the wall with a broom or W/e?
William Sanchez
VIN?!?
Joshua Jones
Anything I can reach is too low, it's gotta be the ceiling (like 20-30 feet high), which means it's gotta be thrown, particularly quickly otherwise I'll get noticed, and then everyone will see and the news will spread too quick and I'll be found out
The goal is that a long, long, long time passes before anyone notices, after which time not only will nobody be a suspect, but if the foremen want to remove it, they'll have to rent a scissor lift to remove it, which they've rented in the past when various re-wiring projects were happening. So it'll end up costing the company a lot of money, which the corporation that owns my dealer won't sign off on, or it'll come out of their own pockets, or even better, I get to watch my foremen try and remove it through cheaper means, like throwing stuff at it or going to the effort of trying to built a long enough stick to get it down
Trust me, this is a very simple prank but the beauty is how deeply it cuts
Alexander Butler
I wish you the best of luck Also, have you considered somehow using a drone? Maybe throw it up there and hope it lands on a pipe, walk away, wait a while, then start it so people don't notice it take off because it's not near them? Or something like that
Juan Roberts
Or put a ton of glue on the top of the drone and attach the dildo, maybe hollow it out, to the bottom, fly it to the roof and go back to business, maybe look up in confusion afterwards to not arouse suspicion
Ethan Nelson
Now I just want to see footage of OP repeatedly throwing a cock at the ceiling and it plummeting to the ground and bouncing across the shop floor.
Benjamin Phillips
OP u need to rig up a long dildoe placing pole and place the dildoe on the ceiling. It may not attach if the ceiling panel is not smooth / is porus. To rig up a ceiling placement pole use a length of pvc pipe with a upside down Gatorade bottle with the bottom cut off taped to the pole. Good luck OP I like the idea.
Michael Campbell
This is what I expected to happen, I didn't figure I'd land it on the first shot, but I didn't want to be flipping it at the ceiling for 30 minutes only to learn it would never stick, this is what I hoped to avoid, and therefore made this thread
Jordan Ortiz
You will fail re throwing. It's too random.Yes it will be a laugh if you are caught trying to throw a dildoe at the ceiling. Use the patented dildoe ceiling placement pole OP.
Brody Gomez
Use the pole idea OP. An INTJ thought of it, it will work.
Eli Myers
It's gonna have to be a hell of a long pole. It's gonna draw a lot of attention
I'm concerned that for it to be long enough to provide enough force over it's length it'll cost a lot, like PVC wouldn't do it, but I don't want to buy a 30 ft long aluminum pole
Maybe I'll have to settle for one of the lower hanging A/C vent pipes
Perhaps I dreamed too big
Jackson Johnson
NO! THIS DILDO IS STICKING TO THAT CEILING! THERE IS NO DREAM TOO BIG FOR A DILDO PRANK!
Brody Brown
You're going to apply some type of adhesive to the suction cup to be sure it stays there for any length of time. How you get it up there is a different problem.
Nathaniel King
Thank you for your support and believing in me user. I still feel like the magnet option as referenced in is my best bet. I have access to magnets that are circular and about 2-3" in diameter. glueing these to the base might allow me to throw this fucker uphand and latch on the ceiling, or if not the ceiling since I'm not actually sure how magnetic it is, one of the supporting beams along the ceiling, that I'm quite sure is made of steel
thank you anons for helping me in my quest. I can't tell you how soon I can report back once I've completed my mission, but I promise you, one day, I will post a picture of a dong attached to the ceiling of a luxury car dealership shop's ceiling, and if I'm lucky, the pictures of people trying to get it down
much like the idea of my prank in general, surely there are those of you who appreciate that the satisfaction lies in that it's a time delayed thing, like so much time passes you forgot about it, so when it hits you its that much better
Asher Hall
it will never ever ever work. you have to use some kind of glue, and throwing it will never work.
they must replace lights at some point, what do they use to do it?
Matthew Rivera
i had a friend who always talked about doing this sort of "prank"
in reality, he just wanted an excuse to buy a kong dildo to ream himself with.
Jordan Martin
The ceiling is about 30' high, now that I think about it maybe as high as 40'. I've always been a terrible judge of weight/distance. The lights for our work bays hang down from chains only about 10' off the ground, so the guys they bring in occasionally to change out the bulbs just us regular ladders
Nathaniel Thomas
OP here, if you're implying that I'm gay and looking for an excuse to buy a suction cup dildo, I'll tell you two things:
- I'm 28 years old. I've figured out my orientation and fetishes. I'm not gay, although that being said I can look at a dick, and say "goddamn that's a nice dick" - If I wanted to buy a dildo to get gay with, I wouldn't tell anyone, much less a personal friend, much less sit here for the last hour and discuss the logistics of attaching one to the ceiling of a shop
Austin Garcia
well throwing it will still never work, you have to get up there or just glue it to the wall as high as you can
Jonathan Brown
"Goddamn that's a nice dick" -OP
Jacob Perry
I think he means he could acknowledge the fact that a dick is particularly large or in some way better than the average one without being attracted to it Basically he knows the difference between some tiny pencil dick and the dick of some nigger or anyone who doesn't browse Sup Forums, but he wouldn't want to suck it or something gay like that
Jose Rogers
Let it be carved in my tombstone, along with the fact that MLB baseball players have nice butts, and though I'm not gay, I can recognize that if I was, baseball would be more interesting
Daniel Bell
I've just tested this with a realistic James Deen reproduction 9" dildo; it has a balls and a suction cup, of course.
It did not work at all. You'll have to climb up and do it unfortunately, or get one of the super tall warehouse ladders to do it. You'd also be surprised at how many people have this general idea and will look out for shit in the ceiling rafters of warehouses etc.
Easton Wood
Is there anyone who would be in on the prank and perhaps assist?
Julian Wilson
Oh shit yeah, a few, and I've discussed this exact prank with them the only problem is that we all associate with each other, so It'd be fairly obvious if any one of us got busted we'd all be busted.
You gotta imagine, a shop with 90 people in it, all of various ethnicities, age groups, and mindsets, you quickly develop groups that stick together. My best friend at the shop already has a reputation as a prankster, I am less so than him, but execute mine in a different, more subtle way. I don't want him getting burned, so I want to do this one by myself, so he can legitimately say he had no involvement
Luis Hughes
>I think he means he could acknowledge the fact that a dick is particularly large or in some way better than the average one without being attracted to it
that would wash if he said big, or huge. but nice, that's too subjective to not be gay.
Jacob Wilson
This man is a fucking genius
Ryan Perry
Naw man, it ain't like that. I've seen big dicks that are ugly as hell. There's some porn guy's dick that used to be popular that had a big ol' fucking lump, like a mole or some shit on it. That and there's good and bad circumcision jobs, the niceness of a dick is as complicated as all the various factors that make woman attractive. A dick doesn't have to be big to be nice. You can argue subjectiveness all you want
Look, I know what my dick looks like, and I like it, though I recognize i've got discoloration as a result of my circumcision, that said I think most (most but not all ) uncircumcised dicks look gross as hell, especially when fully erect. Maybe my own perception of what makes a good dick is biased, but then everyone has their own perspective of what kind of dick looks good
If you're gonna argue you're straight, tell me you've never closed a porn video because the dick was gross. If you have the capacity to recognize a gross dick, you have the capacity to recognize a good dick
Just sayin'
>also, I came here to ask about the logistics and strategy of attaching a rubber dick with a suction cup to a ceiling, not defend my sexuality. You think I'm gay? That's fine.
>To quote the famous Breaded Chicken: "I'ma make you think I aint gay, cause I aint gay. See, there's opportunities for being gay, and I aint gay, cause I aint gay, you know what I'm saying"
Joshua Flores
String plus light weighted object like a fucking dime Tie weight to one end of string, dildo to other Throw weight over pipe Pick up cause it falls to ground, throw it over the same way again. Pull it up so the dildo gets up there. Throw one more time How do you make it stay up there Fuck I didn't think this through
Hudson Scott
>pic related Put the head facing down into this and stick it to the ceiling. You can also attach broom handles to it iirc
Bro, I admire what you're doing here but you're not gonna get it done by throwing it.
You're gonna have to get into work early or stay late. Do it when nobody is around so you'll have a little time to get it up.
Speaking of holding the thing up, cut the top off a coke can, screw it to a long pole, drop the dildo in balls up and raise it to the sky. Use whatever you can get for a pole, conduit, pvc pipes, something you can sneak in the shop in small pieces and couple together.
Magnets are a decent idea, glue is shit. You need to remember these things are made of plastic, and glue doesn't stick to that, especially if it flexes at all, the glue will peel right off. Glue bottles are made of plastic for a reason. Screw it to a magnet and run bolts all the way through the dildo, use washers to help keep the bolt heads from pulling through. Maybe some sort of cock ring with safety wire wrapped around it if you don't wanna use bolts. The downside to magnets is that it will be easy to remove when it's seen.
With glue, you're gonna have to hold it in place until the glue sets up. Which leads us back to the magnet idea, so you can do all the gluing, safety wiring, etc prep work at home and minimize the time you're holding a rubber dick 40 feet over your head.
Another thing to think of, the ceiling in a shop is coated with dust, if you're gluing anything to it you'll need to clean a spot for the glue to stick, not too big of a spot or it will be more noticeable.
Godspeed user. Make us proud.
Zachary Robinson
Facepalm... stand on a ten ft ladder. Your outstreched arm / hand height will further reduce the required length of pole down to say 17 ft if you count the ten ft ladder an a conservative 3ft arm extension. That's if its a 30ft ceiling. You don't need a 30ft pole to touch a 30ft ceiling.....
Carter Sanchez
17ft is only 5.18m. I've used a 6m pvc lenght hook taped to it to prune branches at 9m standing on a 2m ladder. You have no excuse OP proceed!