Where is the most wierd/inappropriate place you have masturbated?

Where is the most wierd/inappropriate place you have masturbated?

In my granddad's coffin.

U wot

fitting room

On a plane. In my gfs parents bathroom. At every place I've worked. In school. While driving.

Into my mouth

In school under my desk

In a WWE show

in train .. not so weird

when i was at uni i had one in the photography dark room next to a girl i fancyed she didn't notice

Cornfield

My grandad bought a coffin in advance when he was ill when he died they took his body to the funeral place to be prepared there is only 1 toilet you gotta ask for a key and it is right near the office so it would be obvious if you were jacking it so when no one was looking (there was just me and my family there) I jumped in the coffin in the back room knocked one out and got away with it. Shit gave me a fucking rush man.

In your mom's closet.

6th grade science class. The classroom was full and since it was a science lab, I was sitting at a table with 3 girls as opposed to at an individual desk.

As far as I know, nobody noticed my massive balls.

school toilets. twice. during class time.

Infront of a church.

>be me ,15 y
>aunt s house for new year party
>hot step sis
>cant control myself
>run to bath and start doing the masterpiece
>step mom starts nock the door
>best orgasm ever

family beach in chest-high water

Work and while driving.

outside of an elementary school

when i was 14 in class, primary school. sat in last row with a lot of jackets thrown on my desk, no one saw it. long slow strokes.

in elementary school, in english class, looking out the window and watching a kid not much older than me masturbate outside.
no homo.

While my gf's sister was walking down the drive (I was masturbating over here too).

driving down the interstate

French class. Back of the room, friend sitting next to me. The teacher was so fucking hot. Jerked off to the memory of doing that in history class a few years later, was cash

Just now, into a girls drink. Work in bar, wiped dick on straw too.

Hospital toilet, where I work

...

Is this happening live

...

When I was 13 I jerked it in the church bathroom.

In the walk-in freezer at work - spunk all over the wall or the floor or the boxes of meat and then enjoy seeing my frozen jizz on a subsequent visit

>start doing the masterpiece
Kek

>church bathroom
>church
>bathroom

nigga wat?

many times outside of the bedroom window of 13 year old neighbor.

You don't take baths at your church?
Filthy heathen.

In the church.
> during mass
> i fapped to the letters to Corinthians

>i was 15
>fiends mom was driving me home
>I was in the passenger front seat
>put my bag on top of my legs
>put hand under my pants
>hngg
>arrived home
>what am i doing with my life

Nice quads

Checkem

Lost my house in the Louisiana floodings recently and I'm staying with my family in a shelter. Needed to jerk one bad so I rubbed one off in my cot next to my family. I also did it in the fitting room, while smelling the crutch of the pants this chick before me tried on and left .

Crotch*

I jerked off through my shorts while taking my English 12 reagents exam in school literally surrounded by my classmates

English in 6th grade. Worst orgasm but I did it.

Masturbated to train porn on a train a few years ago.

Church on Easter Sunday

All of my jobs, on the sidewalk omw to school, next to my mom, my cousins and a few of my friends quince, on the buss, on the subway, in my car near the gym, restaurant bathrooms, roof of a starbucks overlooking two busy main streets.

This story isn't about me, It's about a kid in class
>Be me
>2002
>10 years old
>Already knew about masturbation
>In fourth grade
>Kid next to me See teacher bend over to get a piece of paper
>Kid pulls his pants out, fucking whips his dick out, and just plays with it
>Teacher goes back to teachers desk
>Kid still whipping his dick around
>Teacher spots him and scolds him
>Kid literally stands up on top of his chair and helicopters his dick
>meatspin.gif
>Teacher screams at him
>Kid starts shitting while doing a sayan scream
>Still waving his dick around
>Teacher decides that she's going to get fired anyway
>She sucks his dick sloppy joe style
>Kids around me start doing a low pitch WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO
>Due to the noise every kid starts shitting themselves including the teacher
>Principal walks in
>"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
>Room painted brown with noise still going on
>I look him in the eyes
>"Help me."
>Principal starts shitting himself too
>Kid cums in teachers mouth, still shitting
>Some skinny nigger comes in and starts singing giberish
>Teacher takes her thumb and puts it in her mouth
>She takes cum covered thumb and streaks it across the kids face
>She squats down on the desk still shitting
>She holds up the kid
>Kids around me, still shitting start standing up.
>I leave school and never talk again
>Go to school the next day, teacher is fine, students are fine
>Shrink is still confused about why I never spoke

Al Gore's guest bathroom at his holiday party. This was when he was in office, and the party was at the naval observatory. Pics of daughters were on walls. Helped.

Can't prove, but it's true.

800+ft underwater

Were you breathing heavy? If you actually jacked off 800+ feet underwater then your lungs would probably collapse.

It's called a nuclear powered submarine mane.

Oh, thought he was scuba diving.

The women's bathroom at a country club where I used to work

My hands

...

oh man you are totally me haha

In front of my exgf house while she was home with her new bf

heh.preservation - the cheap method.when you need to knock up someone after your vasectomy,just go and scrape some off

high school band practice room

At my cousins room, my load landed on a framed pic of him

well i used to go on my roof then jump unto my neighbors roof take one of her shirts tht were hanging to dry thn jerk off in them and re hang thm back

>shirts

highschool gym's locker-room many years ago
had to go fastfastfast

in school during p.e.

Parker?

At work in the attic when I was 17 a cute 9 to 12 year came in went to the bathroom I had just cleaned went in after saw her piss on tonight toilet got it on my hands we t up to the near by attic and got freaky

at the zoo, all the monkeys started copying me we had a giant fapfest while children and moms cried

Full blown autism

Behind some trees on a golf course. I was playing golf with my friend and went to look for my ball - found my cock as well and and had a fap. Had to use leaves to wipe clean. My friend never found out.

I wacked off driving my bosses car. The only thing I could find to bust my nut in was his sock hat. Couple days later I saw him wearing the hat with a big crusty spot on back.

At the bottom of the public pool.

I fapped in a sock until my dick grew a toenail

In the bathtub in my basement

during a large army exercise, with only a thin tent flap between me and a hot sergeant.

Airport bathroom. Just had to after a 10+ hour flight

Kek, I've fapped while driving as well. Feels good.

in a vacuum cleaner hose at the carwash

Auschwitz

battle jacks are compulsory,

my first tour of Iraq i think i spent every minute off patrol jerking off

I have beat off thousands upon thousands of times just driving around, cross country, in the middle of town.
Nothing is weird about that.

driving
in a church
on the hood of a female bosses car in an underground parking lot
on the screen door handle of a neighbor ladies house
i dunno pick one....

While in bed watching a movie with my cousin(13), in the class ,every restroom, bathroom I've gone into, a full living room, in the academy and in my parent's bed.

Also in the backseat of my parent's car when I was 11 with my mother and father in the front seat and brother in the back

Reminds me, I've fapped a few times when sharing a bed with my younger sister on holiday. Done it a few times when we've almost been in a spooning position which was fun.

Only on Sup Forums

school cafeteria

In a pool full of people.

Nice one. I had went to a shithole like that, I would have beaten the bishop all the time as well. Luckily I only had a year of mandatory conscription. The closest I came to Iraq was the refugees living near the base.

This year girls have to serve as well, around 30% of the conscripted this year are chicks. I wonder how that will pan out.

how did you do it, i feel like people would figure it out so easily

I've done that too

Also did it once in the middle school pool while being humped by the class bully and his goons.
Good times

Middle school classroom multiple times during class. Short bus. Behind a store in view of busy road. On the floor at night next to my sleeping mother.
Yeaaaaa....... just some of the bad ones

You do it with your shoulders underwater

In high school I did it in a church parking lot down the road from my house. Just couldn't wait to pop off I guess.

inside your mom's vagina

out my front door
school bathroom
store bathroom
bike trail in the park
shopping center parking lot
in the cooler at my job

Well I was like 11 12 and I just stood in the end of the pool facing the wall and watching the girls. Did it and quickly got to the other part of the pool.

I dont know if im alone on this, but i normaly fap at every new friends house atleast once, i cant feel at home at someones house if i haven´t fappt there atleast once, at closer friends i normaly fap when i arrive and i tell them i need to take a shit

also i fapped in an outdoor toilet on a festival, also at our local train stations bathroom

I have a friend that does something like this. But he takes a shit. He's literally taken a shit in almost every new house he's visited.

Yesterday, in the forest
>be me
>still living with parents since college and no job or money
>every day they ae at home I bust a load in forest
>yesterday I come at a well known spot
>start the porn
>whip out the dick
>hear something in the distance not more than 100ft away
>ohshitohshitohshit.gif
>put dick back in pants
>turn off porn
>crouch
>it was a mand wife with two kids, presumably both girls
>had brown shirt and trousers so they didn't notice me
>wait until they are 250 ft away
>run like a crazy sonofabitch
>ran for good 6 minutes
>when I was a mile away from that place I decide to take a break
>breathe_in_breathe_out.exe
>look around
>no one around
>decide to still jerk off
>weirdest orgasm I had
>came home different route

Turns out that family are new neighbours, they were looking for some shrooms, thought I was a wild hog
My parents told me not to go to forest because wild hogs are in forest
>mfw