/p4k/ - Nightly Pitchfork Countdown Hypetrain Thread

Fellow Pitchfork patricians, it is once again the time for our nightly countdown for Pitchfork's new reviews to be updated on the site at 1am eastern time.
10.0?
0.0?
Best New Music?
Best New Reissue?
8.0+ with no BNM?
A shitty set of 7's and below?
Weird Al’s eternal BNM incoming hypetrain!
Noctourniquetcourtsney Barnett Review?
Ian FUCKIN' Cohen?
Ryan "THE TASTEMAKER" Dombal?
Jayson "8.7" Greene?
Lindsay "qt feminist" Zoladz? [retired patrician, memory lives on forever]
Brandon “Meme Metal” Stosuy? [retired]
Grayson "Grizzly" Currin?
Brian "Backup" Howe?
Mark "the elder statesman" Richardson?
Evan "IS GARAGE ROCK DEAD" Minsker?
Andy "secretly alpha" Beta?
Zoe "¡DALE!" Camp?
Philip "Electronic Wizard” Sherburne?
Stephen "M." Deusner?
Laura "Sun Kil Buffoon" Snapes?
Jenn "Best New Tastemaker" Pelly
Marc "Not Mark" Hogan
KRIS "Meme Rap" EX
Jillian "they don't love you like I love you" Mapes
Kevin "who needs TMT anyways" Lozano

Who is getting the first 2017 BNM?

OFFICIAL and accurate 2017 BNM Tally: 0
Nights since last BNM: 26

The most wonderful time of the night, every night, right now. Here it is, the nightly P4K thread. Time to get comfy.

>P4K Collection Rar (Over 300 deleted reviews, pics of every staff member)
mega.nz/#!l1ZlRbqb!WYbGuia29w1_fpg05XS3F9Rtb8aFfj8WzZg8Z3mbwRQ

>Tonight's Top Stories
-This thread stands with Kesha eternally
-Rest in peace Alphonse Mouzon
-Welcome to 2017.
-This thread hypes and supports DIIV, Japandroids, The xx, John Cale, Foxygen, and each & every poster here

RTJ3 8.8 BNM
Heard it here first

In your fucking dreams

"legend has it" got BNT a month ago, I think it's chances are good. If not BNM then 8.0+

This thread rejects the rape culture hysteria of Amber Coffman, Ke$ha, Larkin Grimm, Meagan Garvey, Pitchfork, et al.

Chance the Rapper & Jeremih got a BNT and only a 8.1
So RTJ BNM isn't a given but I think they're in a similar situation as Bowie last year when one of the best albums of the year came right at the beginning.

Calling RTJ3 9.3.
BTM is a given.

rtj 7.7

haha not in a million years
8+ at very least

RTJ 8.6

RTJ 7.0

RTJ 45.0 BMI

RTJ1 8.5
RTJ2 9.0
RTJ3 9.5

RTJ's BMI balances out to like 30 since El-P is tiny

RTJ3 8.2

it's getting a 10/10 from what I've gather

7.9

...

How do I get to the review without having it stall for so long?

8.6 BNM BTFO

10. Review by Cohen

You're welcome.

BTFO

You got it, boy

RTJ 8.6 BTM
Good score pitchfork.

NIGHTLY RUNDOWN
Run the Jewels 8.6 BNM by Sheldon Pearce
Steven Warwick 7.6 by Thea Ballard

do fat black guys have innie dicks covered by their FUPAs like white lardos? or is the bbc myth real, and they have giant ones even tho they're fatso?

depends on the person and I've only seen one of their dicks and it was small. they're skinny, though, so I don't know about a fatty hamplanet like Mike.

No, they don't have the innie thing. Still looks pretty big

this was actually a gay test, and you both failed.

or succeeded...

day 2 of twenty-seventeen, and p4k is already pushing the blm meme. i had resolved to stop pretending to like black music, but i guess it's one more year for me.

Rhyme animal, pitbull terrier
Rap terrorist, terrorize, tear it up
Brought gas and the matches to flare it up
Militant Michael might go psycho
On any ally or rival
Born Black, that's dead on arrival
My job is to fight for survival
In spite of these #AllLivesMatter-ass white folk

rtj review by the numbers
-2500 total words
-'black' is written 130 times
-blm mentioned in first graf
-the genocide of the white race is openly championed
-writer claims to be 110% black
-1 donald trump assassination plot written in emoji
-0 mention of killer mike's rape conviction from 1997.

killer make before he got reverse vitiligo. pic related

This post is blatantly false

Go to bed richard spencer

when i listen to white indie i pretend i'm singing it at a talent show at my high school, and my teachers and the cool kids are all impressed, and the girls i had crushes on smile and flirt with me after, but when i listen to black music, i pretend i'm black, and that means i can say 'nigga' and get mad at white ppl on facebook when blm stuff happens.

i had to look up who richard spencer was, so that means i failed your racist test.

i follow lots of music ppl on instagram, and i've been noticing this thing they do where they post selfies of themselves and some black person. it's like letting other ppl know they're not racist.

but do you have an alt right SS haircut?

i cut my own hair with a pair of clippers my mom got me for christmas a few years ago. so no??

Understandable when more and more racists are feeling more comfortable being openly racist. I'm one of the good white ppl I swear!

>SS haircut
They're called "fashy haircuts" now

it's like
>selfie
>selfie
>pile of books they're pretending to read
>studio shit
>selfie
>selfi
>tour shit
>me and some grinny black person
>selfie
>selfie

p4k aoty
>12 kendrick
>13 kanye
>14 rtj
>15 kendrick
>16 solange
>17 ???

i thought that was a nu-male haircut. nazis used to have those ;OOOO?

2013 was Vampire Weekend

The Brave Little Abacus

>killer mike's rap conviction from 1997

we're just making up shit like this now? isn't this the same thing you Sup Forums retards hate about "feminazis?"

maybe satire of a troll Sup Forums post. hard to tell on internet

The far right took their haircut back

this thread stands with dr luke and killer mike.

i remember you. racism = bad, ableism = okay.

if you hit space bar twice, it makes an automatic period.

Animal Collective and The Rapture are still the only two bands to not get BNM on the follow-up to a p4k AOTY

vampire weekend in 2017

hopefully. I was really thinking they would pan Bon Iver's new album, but no

surprised me too. it was horrible. and i liked his s/t one.

what in the absolute fuck are you talking about?

Grammar nazi posting in this thread

you throw around 'retard' like it's breathing air, but you get mad if someone says something about your precious black ppl. hypocrisy 101

actual nazi too

Guy he "corrected" here, grammar is not punctuation (although expecting a period at the end of a one line Sup Forums response is anal af)

orthography nazi*

hope everyone had a good christmas. and if you don't celebrate christmas, i'm glad you're burning in hell.

I'm glad that /p4k/ is back

I'm not the guy you are arguing with but I used to use retard in casual conversation until I was called out on it. I stopped because yeah I recognized it was fucking rude. The difference is you will never stop desperately clinging to your right to say shitty things about black people.

You are making a false equivalence