Alright Sup Forums I fucked up. Let me tell you about how user killed an extremely endangered bird.
>In college four years ago worked at a golf camp
>Lots of international counselors too
>eurosluts.webm
>Met this really cool dude from Australia, let's call him Ozbro. He was a biology major, crazy smart but generally bro-tier.
>End of summer, we call exchange e-mails and like "if you're ever in shitstonia come visit me." All pro forma shit.
>None of us stay in touch
>Earlier this year going to Australia
>Fuck it, let me look up
>Turns out he works on some wildlife sanctuary out in the fucking Outback. He's like "I'm in the middle of nowhere but if you want to crash here you can"
>I show up, still great dude, he's managing this park/sanctuary thing. We chill, have beers and BBQ, good times.
>No golf course for hundreds of miles so after he goes to bed I stay up shagging crappy balls into the Outback.
Cont?
Alright Sup Forums I fucked up. Let me tell you about how user killed an extremely endangered bird
Continue, you large negroid homosexual
You gonna get fucking arrested faggot. Jk
Continue
>Two days later he asks me if I want to ride out with him in the jeep to do his rounds
>Boringdrive.jpg
>Suddenly he FREAKS out, rams the gas, and drives over to some bushes
>Under the bushes is the HUGE fucking bird, maybe some subspecies of pic related
>Bird is lying down, heavy breathing, not really moving
>"Holy shit, user, this is the [bird name], there's only like 40 of them in the wild. Something's wrong with it."
>Tranquilizes it, I help him put it in the truck and drive it back to the center
>Checks out the bird for an hour, cant figure out what's wrong with it
>Takes an x-ray
>Bird's digestive track is FULL of these bright white blobs
>Ozbro is freaking out. "What the fuck is in there?"
Cont?
Oh looks kinda like pic related BTW.
JUST KEEP POSTING, FAGGOT
so this bird ate all of your golf balls? what a story
>Ozbro puts this little camera needle into the bird
>Sees the stomach is full of golf balls
>Titleist.jpg
>I know he's gonna put two and two together so I break down and confess.
>Turns out dirty golf balls look almost identical to the eggs of some lizard this bird fucker eats
>Ozbro is really mad at me but keeps his cool, tells me I couldn't have known, I feel like shit.
>He doesn't have facilities to operate and this thing can't be transported, so we're just gonna have to see if it passes and if not the bird will die
>Puts the bird in an enclosure behind the center
>We watch as the bird comes too, he's telling me about how awesome these birds are and shit.
>I feel like I need to lower the stakes, try to calm him down. Tell him "dude it's just one, there's still 39 out there, and it's just like a big chicken, I mean, the bird doesn't DO anything for humanity right?"
?Ozbro blows a gasket,starts yelling at me about how every species is precious, so much we still don't know.
>Then he goes on this rant about how birds are descended from dinosaurs, this bird acts just like velociraptors, this is like the last dinosaur, blah blah.
>Being an idiot, I'm like "dude, this isn't a velociraptor though, it's like it's 8th cousin, this thing here is no fucking dinosaur."
>More shitstorm.
>Ozbro tells me "if this bird dies, it's your responsibility to make sure it dies in peace."
Cont
>Die in peace?
>lolwut.exe
>"These birds are highly intelligent, user. Stimulate it, talk to it. You've hurt it's feelings."
>I get in the enclosure and sit near the thing. This is bullshit but don't want to piss of Ozbro.
>Talk to the bird about life and shit. Girls, music, whatever.
>Bird is super despondent, not doing anything, just lying there.
>fuckergondie.mp4
>Suddenly the bird perks up, I hear noise behind me
>Turn around, there's like four PISSED looking wolf dog things. Dingoes I guess.
>I left the enclosure door open and they're closing in on me and big bird
Cont, last one
FINISH THE STORY, FAG
>suddenly, the bird jumps up, screams this insanely loud roar squawk thing and rushes at the dogs
>dogs run away in fear
>I lock the enclosure. Heart still racing.
>Neednewpants.jpg
>Bird lays down on the ground, more heavy breathing.
>Puts its wing on my leg, like to calm me down, rubs its head into me
>I start to cry. I'm a total asshole. This bird really is everything Ozbro said.
>I lean close, my tears dripping on the bird. Patting its head.
>"I'm sorry I called you a dumb chicken. You really are a fucking dinosaur. The last dinosaur, birdbro."
?The bird picks its head up a little. Breathing heavy, totally spent. It opens one eye, looks me DEAD in the eye.
>It's beak opens
>And I swear to evershitting Jesus the last f the dinosaurs croaks out
>"You got tree fiddy?"
Gah damnit user. Bamboozled us.
FUCK YOU
Fucking lost it
I am fucking done
I hope you get raped to death by a gang of nigger roosters, OP.
Pic extremely related.
God fucking dammit OP
IM GOING TO SLEEP NOW THANKS OP NICE READ
Fuckin cassowary
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Really thought it was going to be a "walk the dinosaur." 8/10, would read again.
Include me in the screencap
Fuck you op go choke on some nigger cock don't forget to include me in the screen cap
Wait Wut I'm so confused
>still 39 out there
>Being this autistic
>current year
>4 years ago
stopped there
wanted to laugh my ass off. Girlfriend is sleeping, i hate you mate
...
You dun goofed OP. You going to jail nigger.