ITT: Movies and TV shows that had dumb translations

In Spain, Die Hard is called "La Jungla de Cristal" (The Crystal Jungle), and so are the sequels.

here in france the first one is called "piège de cristal" but they had the good taste to rename the sequels because there's no crystal. that title is better than "die hard" though

it was called "Crystal Trap" in Italian

I don't know man I really like the name Die Hard, it just fits the movies, you should never translate short titles IMO

In Poland it's
>Szklana pułapka

Which means
>Glass Trap

All the sequels are named the same. It's been a recurring joke for years.

Sounds like a movie series about meth addiction.

"Crystal" is amusingly also an incorrect translation. As this user pointed out It should be "Glass"

I think crystal just sounds more evocative, crystal trap is almost an oxymoron, it's pretty retarded but I can see why they did it desu

it's a figure of speech you dip

Now, THIS is a shitty translation

>if you leave me I'll delete you

...

awesome taglines

patrish

In Russia, Die Hard is "Tough Nut" ("Кpeпкий Opeшeк").

This is great.

what about translations better than the original? here is "the teeth of the sea"

In Spain it was just called "Tiburón" or "Shark"

>HE HAS NO SHOES!
>BUT THIS TIME HE HAS SHOES!

Actually, this is closer than all this 'crystal' bullshit. Doesn't top nippon version though.

>007: dr. No
007: License to kill

>007: License to kill
007: Private Vengeance

They fucked it up for good with these ones tbf

Yeah I like the other titles "58 minutes pour vivre" (58 minutes to live) and "Une journée en enfer" (A day in hell). Especially the last one. Fits the movie.

this sounds better than the original.

This reminds me of all the bad "Hold the door" translations

In germany it's Stirb Langsam, which means die slowly. And he doesn't say yippie kayey motherfucker but yippie kayey pig cheek.

Israeli translations are the dumbest
They make them as stupid as possible to jew plebs to come to the cinema.
Die Hard is "Dying to Live"
but that's ok compared to, let's say "Superbad" - "Too horny to quite".

You think that's shitty?

Superbad - Three Chins over the Sky

but it could also be Three Minds over the Sky, they're both shit though

These are fakes you fucking mong

in croatia it's Die Like a Man, or maybe Die Manly.

Yeah, so what? Doesn't matter. They're still awesome.

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? What's the context? Having said that, Die Hard is a pretty dumb name as well. It only seems fine because its so familiar.

The sequel was better.

>Szklana

How do you savage animals even make that noise it's inhuman

I think it's basically just sklana

nah jaws works because it's so punchy.

That's not the title, that's just Jonah Hill's billing

>What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? What's the context?
In the original Die Hard there was a bunch of glass on the floor that McClane had to step on. "Jungla de Cristal" means "Jungle of Glass", because it's a harsh environment filled with glass.
It wasn't a very good title, and once we got to the sequels there wasn't any glass so the title didn't even make sense anymore.

kek

Not dumb, just unnecessary. Vain Kuolleen Ruumiini Yli, translated "Over My Dead Body".

In Finnish it's "Tappajahai", which translated to "Killer Shark".

In Brazil we have some great ones
Annie Hall turns out to be : Neurotic Husband, Nervous Bride
In Bruges is "In The Boss's Crosshair"
The Hangover is If you Drink, Don't Marry
The Sound of Music is The Rebel Novice
Red 2 is RED 2 : Retired and More Dangerous
Evil Dead is the more bizarre one, IMO, with Annie Hall : It Depends on Your Point of View

>Red 2 is RED 2 : Retired and More Dangerous
That sounds cool

I mean that's accurate.

in south america is "Duro de Matar"' (hard to kill)

>If you Drink, Don't Marry

These are all shit but that takes the cake. My brazilian friends say it's a country populated by illiterate monkeys. Is this correct?

Also which movies have received rerard tier translations for english language release?

In Finland Bronx Tale is knows as "Farewell to Godfather"

Most notorious one is Shawshank Redemption which in here is known as "Rita Hayworth - A Key to Escape"