Hello. I am a member of a rescue unit, mainly for suicidal people that try to attempt suicide

Hello. I am a member of a rescue unit, mainly for suicidal people that try to attempt suicide.
I am not a native english speaker.
Ask me anything. I know that some people here are depressed and/or suicidal. Please tell me about yourself. Why are you suicidal? I try to get a deeper understanding.

kill yourself

Not going to happen.

Do you like doing it?

Why do you save people who want to die? I didn't actively resent the people who stopped me from overdosing, but I didn't work with them. I just don't get why you would keep someone alive when you know that after their condition is stable, they're shipped off to an asylum, possibly forever.

Because nothing on earth matters. There is only pain and causing pain. The pleasure is forgotten before the harm, and in the end all achievements, all relationships mean nothing, and are but dust, inevitably, on the cosmic scale.

Also because the love of my life cheated on me, tried to cuckold me, and manipulated me for years. Somewhere along the line is forgot how to relate to people, and now I live in sort of an interstice of the knowledge that my fears, and the rest of me mean absolutely nothing; and the fear of dealing with people or ever forming another meaningful relationship.

The contradiction is the worst, and let's me know it's personal weakness that I can't get over my own fear, and that makes me hate myself more.

Tl;dr existential terror, and lucidity of mortality that I can't ever stop without chemical abuse.

Oh and also years of abuse, a rape, molestation by 3 different people, and I have zero self worth. I just wanna die

Why is suicide such a bad thing?

Everybody says think of your family blah blah blah. Why is suicide so much more traumatic for people than getting killed in a car crash? Objectively, not that different. Is it because someone was in so much pain they made the decision themselves, rather than having the decision made for them?

It is my job. I have been doing it for a long time now so im used to it but it never has been easy.

I do it because I want to change something. And even if its just a little bit of change.

To be honest, my job is to either rescue the person. When they are taken to hospital, my job is done. Sometimes I wish I could do more but I also have to think about myself. Suicidal people need to get the help they need. An asylum is not an answer. Every person is different, has different emotions, different point of view, different story.

You need to engage the person, you cant treat it all the same.

I feel sorry that a person cannot value his own life. I wish you would take a moment to look back at your life and i think that you will find out that as much as you think you want to die there are good reasons to continue to live.

>To be honest, my job is to either rescue the person.
Or recover the body. This is the hardest part.

>Why is suicide such a bad thing?
because the jews want to keep the goys afraid of death, the truth is on the other side

because i cannot be free so long as i am alive in a world owned by greed.

Idk, I'd have a pretty big moral dilemma, and my morals are loose as fuck. Follow up question, you ever had someone die in front of you?

Not one upping you but 7 different people have molested me one raped me..

Just super sayian.. I know them feels n shit..

But on the cosmic scale user..we are important. And you mean something to people. Everyone you meet you become connected to in some way that cant be seen only felt.

When your connection disappears people will notice.. When someone dies they miss the connection..they will miss you user..

If you want to disconnect early you are going to do it..i know because my dad killed himself when i was six..

Im fine though....creepy fact about me though....i just moved one block from his funeral home he was at and i live another block from the place he did it...it doesnt bother me.

Just dont think you are insignificant. You are user.

Im suicidal cause of my "friend" abusing me and pushing me to the brink of suicide thats all she was a monster

I can understand it. Suicide doesnt have to be necessarily a bad thing.

>Is it because someone was in so much pain they made the decision themselves, rather than having the decision made for them?
I completely understand the desire to end one's own life. It is however more difficult for me to understand, and it changed the situation big times if the person has for example young children because I emotionally feel that children should not have to endure a parent committing suicide.

Leaving people on purpose behind that love you and make them miss something is something one shouldn't ignore.

A man only dies when he's forgotten.

If there has been nothing of value yet, nothing not already squandered or meaningless in first place why would there be later? I want meaning, but there is none, that I see. What is your meaning

>you ever had someone die in front of you?
More than once. People often say they cant forget their faces and I agree but for me it is especially the eyes and the conversation I had with the person. Sometimes they just randomly show up in my mind, without any context.

Many jump from a popular bridge that is known for suicide.
They want want to end their lives with a beautiful view.
I think many enjoy the view before they die. They think they are lonely and the beauty of the river and city seem to make it easier for them.
However I disagree....
You think you die alone but that just isnt true. No one is alone in this world

It's not a contest, m8 :P

I know what you mean though, I understand what you're saying, but even later, their grief will be forgotten. They'll die too? Would you rather see them die, or them see you? One WILL happen, why even form the relationships or go through the moves. The more you meet, the more you lose

Me again
So im not suicidal..i dont think i am..im just depressed. Anybody want to chat?

Why do you always need a meaning? Isnt it meaningfull enough for you to be here?
What meaning do you have for ending it all?

>I want meaning, but there is none, that I see.
So a blind men has no meaning because he can not see?

Society is investing personnel like me and money to save (your) life. But all our efforts are wasted with (your) death.
Please try your hardest and find it.
I am counting on you to give your best.

also see

>But on the cosmic scale user..we are important. And you mean something to people. Everyone you meet you become connected to in some way that cant be seen only felt.
>When your connection disappears people will notice.. When someone dies they miss the connection..they will miss you user..

I like what you said here.

It is completly normal to think about suicide. Everyone does.
Even me.
>ALSO IM SORRY IF I CANT RESPOND TO ANYONE FAST ENOUGH

Don't you think you should give another person the chance to get to know you?
Why let a monster ruin your life? You ruin the monster by living it and connecting to others.

My reason is terror, and self loathing, and no way a future will be better. It's this or die homeless, outside, due to exposure

I'm too tired to take the leap though.

Existential nightmare user from above. I can try. How do you want to?

>self loathing
No matter who, you are worth something. We all are.

>and no way a future will be better
How can you know without trying?

If you have nothing to lose, why not try?

She forces me to hang out with her she tourters me she lies saying im a perv and a creep cause of my looks and said if i leave she'll acuse me of rape its hard

This kinda sums it up

So you are in south korea correct? A lot of people try to commit suicide on that bridge. What made you chose this job in the first place?

*Choose

Yes people do move on but have you ever heard of Phantom Limb Syndrome. Sometimes when a person loses say a finger or limb they report still feeling shockwaves of pain as if the limb is there...
Same thing here you may be gone but the shockwaves of pain when they want to connect to you..

Who would i rather die me or the ones i love?
Well...i dont have a direct answer...i want to say that i would rather them die before me...so they dont have to miss my connection...its strong..
But death can not be stopped. Its needed

Why do it all user? Why go through all the connecting and disconnecting? The pain of losing people?

Its simple user.
The experience. This is unique. Life.
Being aware of yourself is a highly unique thing in the universe.

Experience all the horrible and great things you can.

The longer you stay the worse your situation will become. Go to the police if you really feel threatend, just you saying whats going on will make her false claims crack. A liar will stumble over his own lies because with every lie he has to think about a new one to cover the old. At some point he will make a mistake or wont be able to lie anymore.

You have to think about yourself. You have to do what is good for you. Leave her. Seek help from others.

Many think they are in this little bubble and no one knows how they feel or can relate...but that is not true.

Because life has no value

You don't do shit all to do with suicide OP, you're just looking for comfort. Stop trying to make your self feel better by making others worse, just end it.

Its jard i feel something when im with her im happy but also suicidal its hard to leave

>What made you chose this job in the first place?
As i said before I do it because I want to change something. And even if its just a little bit of change.
Everyone will experience suicidal thoughts in his life - some worse than others.

Are you korean?

>Stop trying to make your self feel better by making others worse, just end it.
I seek for a deeper understanding.
In fact many people want to share their thoughts and not only do i happily provide an ear to listen but I also get a little closer to understand some thoughts.

They diagnosed me with depression in 7th grade, but it's come and gone my whole life. For me the idea of dying has always been my personal escape from everything that's ever gone wrong in my life.

Back when I was in elementary school I used to pray that god would just fucking kill me. Not even because I was sad, I just didn't like my grades.

In middle school I used to just cut myself while highkey hoping I'd die. My stupid ass never went deep enough I guess. Eventually I tried to kill myself with a metal door, seeing as cutting myself wasn't "cutting it."

haha amirite guys?

In high school my grades were always B's and C's, I though C's meant I wasn't going to go to college. Also my social life was a mess, no one wanted me and I wanted out.

Towards the end of high school I started dressing better and it rained pussy. Stole this girl I had a crush on off this kid who used to tell me to kill myself in middle school.

We dated for three years, broke up in college. I still don't understand why she stopped loving me. I mean she said I was "too miserable to love," so naturally I tried to toss my ass off a bridge.

Didn't even make it to the bridge, my college called the cops, and then an ambulance took me to the part of the hospital that takes care of

1. folks who just tried to kill themselves
2. drug addicts

It was fucking awful, literally planned a daring escape within the first hour.

wouldn't let me talk to my family, took my phone, wallet, shoes.

when my family tried to get me out the head of the psych ward got the other doctors together and sat me at a table. The main guy asked me if I thought I was ok to leave, they wanted to keep me for longer to make sure I wasn't crazy. I told them I didn't want to make my family pay more hospital bills just because I'm a fuck up. Demand that they let me leave, told them my suicide attempt was a freak thing. head doctor yells at me, tells me they can't just let me leave.
cont. in next post

No , but I know quite a lot about this subject is all. I think about it every day. Not in any way that involves self loathing, but just acknowledging that it's probably how I will die. Vice news had a segment talking about it, they have been talking about "right to die" in the US. I don't really think it's a bad thing, it's just a part of life. I have obligations to uphold, that's what's keeping me here now. Once everything is over, I like to think I can find a peaceful way.

You sound like you already made that decision.

>but just acknowledging that it's probably how I will die.
Why? And how comes you think about it everyday? Is there a reason you would like to share?

Not really, I think partly because I know my own thinking is flawed. I am masochistic I guess, but it's not unreasonable to me. I think of myself as an evil person that deserves pain and death, and I don't think anyone can tell me otherwise. That's pretty much it though, I don't talk about it to anyone. I don't want people to treat me differently, or be burdened with the knowledge that I really want to destroy myself. I don't talk in feels threads, but I figured this one was different because it reminded me of something I knew about.

I have same feelings

You faggots are all fucking pathetic.

Yup, but you're the faggot that came into this thread.

I'm worth the titanium screwed into my jaw bone.

I few years ago while i was on the night shift tech support we alway got a call from an old man every few nights haing problems with his email client on a iMac 9.2(yeah still supported that system until last year), until i got fedup and ask him:
>user: Mr Thompson , we have been helping you with this email issue every 2-3 nights for more than 45 Days, is there something wrong that we are doing wrong? Do you want to share womthing with so we can give u a permanent solution?
>Mr Thompson: Im sorry user, i feel very lonly, my kids wont talk to me and i ahev been changing my email setting so i can talk to someone...
> user: im veru disapointed in you Mr thompson, wasting my time and my colleges like this, please on the line...
>Place him on hold and transfer call to another extension...
>user: ok mr Thompson, go ahead please tell me abit about ur self i have 60 minutes to kill anyway...

We talk about 30 minutes, he was crying and said he had a gun ready to end his life, ,im like DAM, he used to call us at night and did the same process, put im on an extension and talk until sunrise, but a mSUP from the normalfag day shift rat us out and told Mr bThompson we got firedaand we would be able to talk to him again, he offeres money and work for him, we like nah we cant we have family here and debts, he laugh too, a few months later i heard he died alon of old age..

Don't about all that bullshit, user. You may crave love and affection and the attention of others, but in the end, It' all pointless and seems to bring more harm than good. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones that can find that special someone that can make you happy in your short and meaningless life. However, if you are someone like me, you'll keep searching and searching and searching. You'll never actually find that person that likes you for you. You'll live in happiness with them momentarily but in the end, the pain will far outlast the happiness you felt while you were with them.
It's better to never love and yearn for it, than to have ever loved at all.

How many people do you encounter that dont want to be alive in this multi racial society?:

...

This. Answer it, OP.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Bump

i thing thred is dead.... let me boost its morale with some controversial moral porn

Who are you? Where'd OP go?

im tech sup guy, i think OP is dead or AFK...worst a sleep

why would you help suicidal people? wtf country are you from? If that was america I would shut down your entire unit because emergency services are for emergencies only and someone who isnt dead yet doesnt need service!

Are you a troll? Because if I open up to you and you abuse my trust then I don't think I could take it.

I know I shouldn't be replying to you, but I have not a single other person to turn to... and I don't know if I can go on like this.

maybe he killed himself

If your job isnt to kill them since their losers whats the point?

OP said he was from South Korea, not sure if citizen but he is there

You lucky boi, 7 men wanted your body, and one wanted you bad enough to put his penis inside you and fill you with cum....

I bet in your adult sexless life that you reflect and realise you had it pretty good back then.

OP, come back and help?

Society is investing resources in saving those people's lives because a suicide:

-Gives bad press to the city.
-It costs time and money to recover the corpse and doing paper work.

In Japan, if you comit suicide, your family will have to pay a fee.
Besides, society wants you alive and healthy to pay taxes. In the end people only will care about what they can get out of you.

>OP said he was from South Korea,
Bro Im in America we give over 400billion a year to South Korea that means were paying to keep these people alive which is a waste.

>About to kill yourself
>Last voice you hear is pajeet's

Sorry if this sounds stupid, i cant think straight currently

Alright, i've never liked expressing my feelingd to anyone, never have, probably never will because i grew up like that and i dont know how to get out of it. It's stupid, i know, i hate it myself. I dont know much of my past, but i can tell you that i've always had Deppresion and because of that depression I've never knew who i am. The reason why i want to end it is because I've let these emotions build up because im retarded other reasons is that i cant be as good as anyone else, i always need help from someone to finish something. I always leech off of someone else's work and i hate it, it pisses me off being so weak. I want to hear your response to this before i go on.

Part 2?

Let me guess, Japan?

...

How do you leech?

I dont want to say too much, not like i already have, but whenever i do an assignment i get help from a tutor or friends because of my own laziness. Ive never known what my own capabilities were but they're most likely shit and i hate it.

You don't have close friends or family to talk to? Do you exercise?

what's your stance on pedophilia?

I do, im not sure what it is, but my pride wont let me, i cant face that even though this is illogical, i cant