Im going to kill myself tonight

im going to kill myself tonight
what are the fastest and painless ways to do it?
also some music to kill myself to

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=LCCiwPEdEpg
youtube.com/watch?v=CIqh9Hj1Z8o
youtube.com/watch?v=_nZfHt5G6UQ
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

dont do it, seriously

But user-kun why would you kill yourself if you have amazing pictures of best girl snek girl on your compy?

boot to the head, works everytime

Helium, let the bodies hit the floor

Why would you do that? Tell us

Heliumbag.
Also, just don't do it. If you're really wanting to kill yourself, pack a travelbag worth of shit and take a random plane.
It's not like you've got anything left to fear, you're already set on dying. Might as well do it by getting mauled by a fucking bear or something.
Swim down some reefs, climb a mountain, fuck a russion hooker, piss of the edge of the world, I don't know. Just do something fun? There's nothing to hold you back now, is there?

If you kill yourself now you will never know what it's like to have a clingy lamia girlfriend that constricts you with her tail for heat while she sleeps.

You know what? Never mind you should kill yourself. I'm going to kill myself too. See ya on the other side amigo.

if you stream it, i'll post the helium thing.

But then you can't beat your meat to lamia porn you silly cunt.

i am broke
my gf left me for my best friend
both my parents died a week ago in a car accident i have enough mony only for one more week in the hotel

1. Don't do it, retard
2. Jump in front of a train
3. m.youtube.com/watch?v=LCCiwPEdEpg

talk to some of your relatives

Jump, mario theme

money
i have litherlaly no money left
also sorry for bad grammar oim drunk

2d is better than 3d anyway

Sup Forums is getting a lot softer nowadays. Flooded with normies.

i only have my grandma left
she is living alone and can bearly sustain herself
i would be just a problem

user what you aren't realizing is that this is the start to every anime ever.

>No money
>no gf, grand betrayal.
>parents mysteriously disappearing.

Your snek will come soon

Don't listen to this guy, unless you know where to get pure helium. Most containers of helium that are sold have a considerable amount of oxygen in them so you won't die, just become brain damaged.

Do it, I understand how it feels, life is useless anyway, so, why should we care?

thanks for the warning user

i wish it would be that way

That's retarded.
Also, it's legaly required to say the concentration/composition on the fucking tank.

Nah we just think being edgy fgts is getting old

Why are all your images called "Internet Explorer"?

How old are you OP?

Get a loan from a shady place, make sure no ties are left with your family so they don't have to pay it back.
What are they gonna do, bring you back from the grave to have you pay off your shit?

Do life-insurance on yourself, money for for your next of kin if all else fails.

It may be retarded, but it's true.

Killing youself rather than those who have wronged against you? Ok.

Naw dont do it fagget

talk to your other relatives? talk to them so they can help you out
dont just give up man

28
what family fam im alone
named them that way a while back when i saw another miia-user on Sup Forums having them called internet explorer

Yea so lets lie to OP how his life can get sooo much better

Why would you want to die painlessly? Live a little! Go to a mall, drench yourself in guzzoline and burn.

Nah thats stupid if you want to go out wit a bang go do something good like for instance track down some child molesters and go blow up their house

VVVV

retard shut the fuck up

>what family fam im alone
Well then, that makes it easy.
Loan all the money you can get, then get the fuck out of the country.

Again, worst case you'll die. It's a win either way.

this. Also start yelling "Trump\Hillary(which do you hate more) made me do it"

Shotgun to the head is probably the quickest and is almost guaranteed to kill instantly and painlessly. Any gunshot that cuts diagonally through the brain has increased chance of success. Don't put any gun below your jaw. It will most likely not kill. You want to reduce the amount of space that the bullet will travel to the brain. A side shot or gun in the mouth is will increase your chances.

Bah, snek user it could be worse. By example you could've lost your starbound save file and have every backups also get mysteriously corrupted att he same time foreber destroying your favorite floran character that had a sick outfit that you found while explorer planets.

i could always shoot up some niggers but i dont know if i have enough money to buy a gun

no u

Heh, have him fly to S.A, join isis pretend to be a god fearing muslim, kill some top bras.

kek'd
not enough money to buy one
that's an intresting idea i always wanted to visit germany

This guy gets it.

Support anti-muslims.
>Allahu akbar and blew yourself to heavens, take few with you.
>Some refugees will get killed or send back because of that.
>???
>profit

MY FLORAN WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, IT'S NOT FAIR

I WANT HIM BACK

just try something new!! start a new life, visit countrys or be the next robinson crusoe!!

Welp there ya go.
Germany it is. Bradworst is really good, and you obv have to try the snitzel. (Or whatever it's called in german).
And once you're bored there, you move on to the next country. If you're bored of the city, you buy yourself a tent and some basic tools and go wild. Again, worst case you die, so everything is an improvement.

You don't need a gun all you need is fire
dude I bet your smart enough to engineer some urban warfare weapons
go on the hidden wiki and look up info about explosives and stuff

Yeee you know where I'm getting at

seriously. if you want to die then go do some crazy shit. no matter what it is it'll be safer than suicide

implying he has money.

i like the idea but wouldn't they find me anyway?
i heard banks have their ways to find people

also live stream it.

forgot the pic

if you come to germany tell me.

[email protected]

Anyway, moral of the story:

The only thing holding people back in life are consequences of their actions. By far the worst consequence would be death, since anything else would no longer matter once you're dead.

You want to commit suicide, and given you do that properly that's a 100% chance of death.
All those other things you've never done because you fear the consequences no longer matter, because as long as it isnt putting a gun to your head (or similair) it won't be a 100% chance of death.
Now I don't want to set you up on a path to rape or murder left, right and center, but as long as you keep relatively to yourself you can do anything.

Do realize I mean that litteraly: ANYTHING. Why haven't you ever been to china?
Because it's a fucking shit country and you don't have the money? Who cares? Not you, you're already dead. Everything else is a bonus.

Now get your backs packed and get the fuck moving. Or don't, I don't care.

I guess you could huff something and get extremely high while depriving your body from oxygen

I doubt it, you're a small fry and on the other side of the fucking globe. Also, even if they do, then what? They'll sue? Tough luck, it's not like you'd care. You're already lifting back to another border.

You still don't get it: Consequences no longer matter. Just don't turn into a homocidal dick and leave the rest of the people alone. Everything else doesn't matter.

i hate the oyster speech. go fuck yourself.

I wish you good luck!!

If your worried about pain your not ready to die. Last week my roommate downed 200 percs his whole month supply and he cried in agony. He was a zombie he was mentally not there but he puked blood screamed I'm sorry had a few big convulsions.... then the EMT came they pumped his stomach. He's like a retard now the doctors say it's not permanent he still acts high and screams that God should just leave him alone.

Genuinly don't care what you think, message is for OP.

use helium and a hospital mask thing and hook them up and die of helium inhalation

+1

/thread

youtube.com/watch?v=CIqh9Hj1Z8o
Get a boombox. climb up on a high roof. Set this on repeat from the boombox. spread your arms and fly.

youtube.com/watch?v=_nZfHt5G6UQ

best of luck chap
stream it tho yep?

Smash Mouth - All Star

I'm going to put it very simply for you, user. The only way you can die and not feel pain is if you die instantaneously. When it comes to suicide, this is virtually impossible. People have been trying to find a way to kill themselves like that for thousands of years but no one has yet to do it.

I guarantee that any way YOU are ABLE to off yourself, it will be painful in some way. Suicide is never painless; and this just doesn't apply to yourself. Don't forget the pain you are causing others around yourself.
I could sit here all night and go through the different ways I have witnessed people committing suicide, but that is besides the point.
*There is no such thing as painless suicide*

Do you have a job? Where did you stay before all of this?

get a job lazy ass

ya see thats where your wrong

if you kys im gonna beat your ass

Except there is, see The medical science behind it is sound.

Second source: youtube com/watch?v=A-nTAU3vXzQ
Third: ncbi nlm nih gov/pubmed/26502782
Fourth: ncbi nlm nih gov/pubmed/26007160

awww shet op u in trubl

you cannot thread yourself idiot

Errrr, carbon monoxide poisoning.

In fact, any gas lighter than oxygen or that destroys oxygen.

Pretty much same as going to sleep. You get tired then your dead.

No pain. What say you now?

As I said, I can simply talk about all the different ways I have seen people off themselves. Although this does work and is virtually painless if done correctly (quickly enough), but I have seen people start choking and some freak out. I'd say this is probably the only "painless" way to suicide, but this also doesn't change the fact that no suicide is painless. You leave behind the pain for others to have and deal with.

What do I say? I say that you only read a sentence of two of my post and you're just another simple user on Sup Forums

I used to try to convince people on Sup Forums to not kill themself, but then I realized life fucking sucks. Good luck on killing yourself.

Get fucked emotional pain cop out.

How about, you're wrong. Why not just roll with that?

Shit can go wrong, that makes it inherently dangerous, not painful.

Supposedly the best and fastest way it's a gunshot angled upward below and behind the ear

Check out reddit.com/r/vagabond

See the country, be free.

A good old fashion hanging can be entirely painless so long as you snap the neck.
as long as you generate 1250 foot pounds of torque on your neck it should kill you instantly. you can calculate this based on your weight and height but a general rule of thumb is a drop of 2.7 meters should be sufficient. Don't worry if you over shoot the distance your head will just pop off, still just as dead.
Remember to tie the noose properly and you're good.
God speed bro

Best of luck on your travels, OP.

Wouldn't the neck snap hurt, though?

not really. roof of mouth up thru brainstem is an easier target

>but I have seen people start choking and some freak out.

You're full of shit.
Helium doesn't create the FEELING of asphyxiation because that's created by an increase in CO2 in the blood rather than a lack of oxygen. When you breathe helium in you can still breathe the CO2 out, but you no longer get any oxygen. This results in you losing consiousnes, and eventually death.

>I'd say this is probably the only "painless" way to suicide, but this also doesn't change the fact that no suicide is painless. You leave behind the pain for others to have and deal with.

Now you're just juggling with definitions. The first sense of pain is not the same as your second "sense of pain". Faulty reasoning throughout.

Don't be a bitch

It's been a long recorded fact that head loss is not instantaneous, while not any real way to test, you lose all your core faculties and somethings probably going to send a pretty wicked pain signal down your pathways to say something like.... Uhh your fucking body's gone mate.

Good luck. Listen to Bring Me to Life.

Even a successful hanging can generate a short paralysis

You are easily the most retarded user I have ran into, today. But I'm sure I'm going to be saying that at least two more times today. So don't feel bad, autist.

My Funeral by Dope

IT shouldn't, but getting the drop right is quite hard. Too short and you're just suffocating, too long and you might break the head clean off. Leaves a mess.

There's an interesting wiki article about tables (data/numbers) they used in the past to calculate the required lengt of rope/drop to get a clean execution. A quick google should have you find it.

This. Least painful of all deaths.