How do you get a job in the CIA? Or FBI? Or NSA?

How do you get a job in the CIA? Or FBI? Or NSA?

my best friend (who is an incredibly hot girl)
had SEVEN interviews with the FBI over a year

and didnt get the job

so idk man

ive been trying to

Apply.
Not be schizophrenic.
Sorry, you are not qualified.

Have something to offer. Be able to make over all contributions to the organization.

Certainly not with the picture you posted that will get you 5-10 years in prison

Your friend wasn't interviewing, she was being passed around

You have to know someone in the field I think the same goes for police officers

For FBI learn a foreign language in a conflict zone and major in accounting.

Only reptilians can

Apply, be prepared to keep applying and never be told why you're being rejected or what they are truly currently looking for. Don't be mentally ill, don't have dodgy family or friends, don't post much on social media, oddly enough don't fucking post that you're applying on places like this.

by posting on Sup Forums you're automatically disqualified

Be qualified.
Apply.
Dont be a shitty criminal.

A. Join the military, pick linguist, will eventually end up at the NSA.

B. College, apply, hope for best.

C. (Easy mode) Apply to the various DoD contractors like CACI, BAH, etc. Once working there apply to internal hires at NSA locations, bam you're in, they'll usually foot the cost of the clearance and lifestyle polygraph.

In the most loose sense of the phrase "Job at NSA/FBI/CIA," You could easily get a job as a government escort and just follow contractors around buildings while they perform maint. and install hardware. Doesn't pay half bad, and you'll also get proper benefits.

As for getting a decent job there... Good luck. one of your best shots is probably to go to security cons and try to network. But you'll have to know what you're talking about.

Accounting?

/threat

Usually you have to be military or precleared, they sure as shit wont invest in some random swinging dick for an escort job.

This guy tells it true. Air Force Linguist here, working at NSA. Ask me anything.

just being on this site basically guarantees they wont pick you

This

okay Sup Forumsros

>inb4 mudslide

im first generation from the middle east in the usa; speak both arabic and english fluently

same demographics as the translator that caught sadam hussein

do i have a good chance of getting a "bomb" job if you will?

Monster.com

I'm an applied physics PhD student learning German. Will the CIA or NSA hire me?

No, there's no need for "learning German". Either you speak Russian, you speak Arabic, or you speak Korean. The rest of the languages are a dime a dozen.

>attention grabbing image of two 14yo qt's
do you want to infiltrate the ''enemy''??

>interviews
on the casting couch?

>Not be schizophrenic.
don't tell me what to do, faglord

Pick a harder language or finish your degree and invent something and show to DARPA.

Is CTOC still in the basement of OPS2B? Used to be a football field sized office witha few billion dollars. Last I checked it was L3351 or was it L351.

You'd be surprised. If you're entering just through application, yeah. They're going to look for credentials. But I know of several people that have been picked up by a three letter government association simply because they made friends with feds at a convention. Isn't guaranteed, nor easy, nor likely. But it's a hell of a lot better of an option for somebody that has the skills without anything on paper yet.

Chinese and the dialects sure as fuck isn't a dime a dozen.

Why the fuck ? Shit pay? No thanks.

Uh, the basement of Ops2b is just a bunch of escorts and contractors and shit.

If 9828 still has the language center, it was named for a CW5, I used to work with him.

Chinese is the most spoken language in the world, and those chinks love to come work for us. Think again.

>Shit pay


Pretty sure Snowden was making $300k a year at the NSA with a HS degree & learner on his own

Yeah, but I have no idea who it's named for.

Figured a lot of the telecom shit would be gone by now.

Complete bullshit, he was a contractor and wasn't even cleared for FAA.

The guy spoke like 20 languages fluently.

About 25 years ago it was like 80% white.

They seek you out.

As long as you don't have contact with anyone still over there.

In some cases that's true, but most people apply like a normal job. If you're a STEM grad, even better.

A degree/education in a foreign language would help greatly

This.

I already speak one thoug

Excell academically and physically.

Usually get recruited directly from college or the military. With the first one, usually you need a graduate degree with high marks to have a shot. With the second one, usually a sought after speciality (special forces, linguistics, intelligence, etc).

It's hard as fuck because they're so highly sought after. A guy I work with just got a slot as an FBI Special Agent, and he had a graduate degree with 6 years as an Army Ranger. Plus he said there were something like 50,000 applicants.

Basically unless you start planning and working towards it when you're 14, or fall in to it by being REALLY good at what you do, you're not gonna get it.

Become a CPA. They seek accountants to look through criminals and suspects financial records for suspicious or illegal activity.

get certified in it. Accredited at some university

When something actually matters, being a hot girl doesn't really help. It just helps when someone wants to give some eye candy more money than they deserve or just need a body to throw at a mundane job.

Not lying, when the leaks first came out the news did a background check on him. They wondered by someone with only a HS degree was working for the NSA & how he managed to get paid

From what I've heard from the FBI and othee fed guys I work with, the new thing is forensic accounting. Get a grad degree in that with a 4.0 and you've got a good shot.

He was a contractor. Contractors are notoriously overpaid (example, gate guards at military bases getting $120k a year to do the job of MPs who are making $30k a year)

1. Be US citizen
2. Don't fuck up in life (drugs, crime, etc.)
3. Get a degree (STEM of course)
4. Apply at USA jobs website
5. Wait
6. Go in for interview
7. Don't be a twat or lie your ass off
8. ???
9. Profit

check their website, find the apply here link

All of you are fucked because if you've been on Sup Forums you've seen CP and they're gonna do a lie detector test for that shit no matter what.

Pretty sure they ask you all the big questions like if you've done drugs etc.

Become an actor like Sean Penn.

you apply, they will run checks on u and set up interviews.

FBI:make sure you say you want to protect america over and over and make a difference
CIA: You want to make join the "elite" and apply your skill set to protecting america
NSA:Tell them you hate civil liberties and want to lol at peoples conversations.

kek versuchs doch beim bnd

>DARPA
are they real? you know what I'm talking about
pic related

Of course they're real. Do you even American Government, bro?

They are actually kind of forgiving with regards to drugs now. Sup Forums is not a disqualifier unless you are a tripfag.

You will do a lie detector test though. Just believe your own bullshit 100% and you are fine though.

Well, I will tell you that with that post you will never get in unless you are 16. Everything you put out on the Internet is generally there and accessible forever.
With that being said an extreme psychological screening, an extreme vetting if everyone you have ever known, and zero issues with any substance abuse. Also squeaky clean record and high intelligence. That's just a start of course you have to be in great physical condition (for fbi at least) the physical part for CAI I'm sure is probably different.
To put it in a nutshell you have to be top notch. Did I mention you will have to be college educated and some groups require a law degree or advanced training?
Ok if you are on Sup Forums and or if you have posted any of that cartoon porn shit, you will never get past the simplest of the psychological shit. That's just a start. I only know this because I know three people that were highly qualified and none got in

This is the truth. If you don't lose your nut sack over that kind of question you might be able to pass. Or just say you saw it by accident while not seeking it out. But then good luck explaining why why you went to a degenerate image board more than just a couple times like a neckbeard.

You've seen CP when you were younger though if you got a 16 or 17 yr old to send you some tiddies. Could just use that as an excuse.

Oh I forgot to mention throw all of that out the door if you are one of the top 100 computer hackers in the world, especially if you got caught then you are a shoe in..kek

When I was in college a couple of those agencies came on campus and did some recruiting.
So there's that.

Is op pic legal in eu? Can i download it?

Update:

Just got a call from nsa saying they want to hire me.

I once landed a 6 week contract with NSA, finally lasted 3 months.
I am an expert electrician/civil engineer and they needed help to scan a specific area.

Interviews were tough. At the 3rd one they came up with more info about me than I thought possible, including my browsing préférences for the last 5 years.
They commented on my use of Sup Forums, discutable porn sites and some conspiracy spots but it didn't matter much for them in the end.

I had to sign pages of non disclosure promises, including not working in a foreign country for the next 5 years, allowing them to watch over me for a while and never telling anyone what kind of work I did.

I had the skills they needed and for some reason they got my name from somebody.

That's how it worked. I didn't volunteer, I was called.

Can a ctr also be qualified for a job in one of these fields?

Dont browse the chans

A decent way is to join the military and do some kind of intelligence work that requires a TS/SCI clearance. Stay in long enough to work at an nsa site for one of your duty stations, then try to get a job there when you get out. Having the clearance and training already will get you the job pretty easily.

are you retarded?
why shouldn't it be legal in europe?

discutable? is english your first language?

Underage?

It's not. I have dual nationality, which was a part of what interested them.

>college girls
>retarded

You tell me where you got that HoTT ass pic of those babes walking up those stairs and I'll get you a job with the CIA.

I don't think it's a crime just to see it.

Imagine if some psycho hacked a billboard on the freeway and made it display CP. The cops aren't going to press any charges against all the people who saw it.

Sup Forums is kind of like a freeway with every thread being a sign of some sort. There's nothing you can do if you scroll upon some illegal content besides reporting it.

It's like being arrested for smelling weed.

"So we found out you watch BLACKED"

I personally know a guy who will have a sex offender status for ever because when he was 14 yo the police found CP from Sup Forums in his browser history.

Damn that fucking sucks.

are your baby pictures illegal?
no, but is it questionable to save OP's image?
yes it is but being on the watchlist isn't that bad desu senpai

so, save it it's all yours my newfriend

How so? There's no nudity and no proof they're not 18

Stop watching so much tv and fapping

8. Is the main one psychological testing above all else

This and nice dubs

Not CIA but I work for my countries' Clandestine operations branch.

1. Learn a high level foreign language (Category 3/4 on DLAB)

2a. Go through the military with an exemplary record

2b. Attend a good University and achieve at a high level in a field that is either relevant or 'challenging' (Not film & media...)

I highly recommend learning some martial arts, keeping a high level of fitness (endurance is more important than strength for the most part), and learn how to shoot with a range of pistols.

I graduated with a Bachelors of Business with a triple major and honors, 90% Average. I speak Russian and have tertiary intelligence/military experience through my family.

My interview process took the better part of a year, and then I had 32 weeks of non-stop training around the country. They will find out everything about you. Grandparents had loose ties to the IRA (sympathizers), and I was asked about that.

I'm not sure at how competitive the CIA is, but where I'm from the Intelligence branches of the government don't see an insane amount of applicants every year. With that being said, you won't get in if you're not over-qualified or an exemplary candidate.

Hope this helps user

>including my browsing préférences for the last 5 years
Oh Jesus Fucking Christ...

They used to recruit back in college, they would advertise it in the school newspaper once a year

Being Military helps. Had a friend get himself kicked out of the Army back in the 80s so the NSA could recruit him. He was a commo specialist, spoke several languages and had a top secret crypto clearance. He was also a drunken lush who got out of his enlistment by french-kissing the First Sergeant at morning formation. You could tell it was a setup, but Top wasn't happy about it.

100% true almost became a CIA agent without even trying..
Interviewed with the CIA. Call out of the blue from the CIA recruiter. Asked three questions on the phone call. Are you still looking for a Engineering Position. Are you a US Citizenn? I am. Recruiter for the CIA have you considered a career in the CIA..

3 days later 1 HR phone Interview.
1 Week later Personality Test , Aptitude and Logic/problem solving test (3hr)
1 week later in person Interview with former Retired agent
1 week later team interview..


Next step would have been physical and poly test. In DC .Passing both the physical and poly I would be required to immediately take the oath/and become CIA agent..

Received a rejection letter 3 days after the group interview.. During the entire process they always said thearlier completion for this position was going to be extremely competitive..

Yes FBI deals with high end, large money crimes a lot, so accounting is the better major. I considered FBI but don't like accounting so not for me.

>thearlier
you can't even put together a coherent Sup Forums comment you fucking retard