ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

Other urls found in this thread:

docs.google.com/document/d/1qQG6ccMupLym55SXRntkQbU0F6Mc3WSb3FOELIFuZzc/
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

MAKE ME!

I love traps, sry dubs!

My girlfriend of 12 years is my younger sister. We live together in a town where no one knows we're related. They all believe we're a couple.

I'm engaged and cheated my gf, I think I got AIDS but I'll marry anyway

I took a pill in Ibiza, I haven't told anyone I did it.

everyone knows. they all know.

My secret?

You've read my greentexts. Odds are, anyway. I'm a writer by trade, and every now and then when I get bored I'll write out a long elaborate greentext, some good story for one type of thread or the other, usually feels or erotic threads, and it's all lies, of course.

It's rare that I scroll through a "best of Sup Forums" or wincest or feels thread and don't see at least one of my greentexts posted.

i am bisexual

i dont read green txt shit, it's all bs

I cheated while she was away in Ireland for a month; when she came back home the three of us went out for lunch together and she was none the wiser

you're fucking disgusting

I think my boyfriend is a pathetic cunt and would like to punish him

When my woman makes me angry I cum in her shampoo bottle when I take a shower

Well if that's what the devil wants me to think...

I love the smell of dead things. Gutting fish and catacombs
Oooooooh

I am a kike

Damn that's rough

>Being this much of a passive aggressive petty bitch

Yep, and the worst bit is my Jewbux check hasn't gotten here yet so I can't count any new shekles.

I'm into JB. like 14/15. Never acted on it though.

I masturbate at work.

I cheat on my wife with whoever i can stick my dick in. Always chasing tht orgasm.

He might enjoy it.
Also, kek'd

It's the only way to roll

Greedy moyherfucker.

I know that feel

i wait for her to fuck up and come back

I do not dislike bestiality

this

Just break up then?

I enjoy sex for the sole purpose of procreation after a good massage and a foreplay, but we do it under the bedsheets, clothed with the lights turned off, only the beautiful light of the blue moon lightens the room as we have passionate and happy sex and both of us climax at the same time, and after we're done we kiss each other and have pillow talk about the name of our son or daughter and then sleep hugging each other, face to face.

And this is done after we marry and our marriage has the aproval of both of our families, as both of us are known as being loyal and will never break our word, which means no cuckoldry! Oh and we will NEVER have unprotected sex or anal sex, oral sex is a maybe but only if we are both clean and shaved, groping might be allowed but not in front of the children though! Kisses on the cheeks and lips if we're on private. I as the groom will keep a good shape, work hard and be there for when my family needs me, and my wife will be kind and pretty with the children but she will also teach them to work hard and never play foul. BUT WAIT, we also practise self-defense, for there are people who sadly cannot understand our perspective of the world and would stain our clean relationship. We will never cause harm unless its by self-defense and absolutely necessary

Vag

column? shed?

I was so horny, I once let a guy suck my dick

I joined the Navy Seals with the promise of wanting to do my part for this US of A, but in all truth I'm a little unstable and want to kill people

Post some of them.

>navy
and youre a little gay also

/threadender

I'll tell you why I don't eat taco's in public anymore..
>Get invited to a taco place by grill
>Date asks me how I like the food
>Take one bite of the taco and it falls apart all over my lap
>She sighs and says "I'll go get some napkins"
>See her walk right past the napkin counter
>Out of the restaurant and into her car
>Drives off

Fuck Torchy's Tacos

You are a kind of happy that in my wildest dreams I can not achieve

I fisted a horse when I was like 15.

kinky

sometimes i think of killing myself because of stress (12+ hours of work + studies + children)

just kill the children then go from there

There is no such thing as fully automated customer service. What you think is the automated system is some poor fucker who failed at directly talking to the customer so he has to listen and silently push the buttons.

I'm a gay diaperfag. Not really a "secret" per se, as most of my kinky friends know and participate in it with me. But not many of my vanilla friends know.

I like to erotically hypnotize and take control of people.

kik: zog34

kek

also
>replying to pasta

Never got over my first unrequited love.

sometimes, when im in line for the grocery store i pretend that im looking at candybars to buy. but i'm actually squeezing the fuck out of them in hopes that someone will pick it up and take it home, and when they open it, it will be misshapen as hell

fuck you

Did you at least do something about it? Or are you one of those pussies who watches from a distance and expects them to come running to you?

One time in college I got drunk in a friend's room. I went to the dorm bathroom because I felt sick. Went in stall and didn't feel sick anymore. Realizing how horny I was I jacked off onto the toilet seat. I did not clean up. Upon exiting I realized I was in the women's room.

My sister and I had sex when I was 13 and she was 14. We had sex a few times a week for about 6 months.

Later I learned that our father had raped her, and that's why her boundaries were so fucked up.

are you sad daddy didnt love you as much?

How many times must this threat return...

I am secretly attracted to my 12 year old nephew

>he is also attracted to me
>I am male btw

I have been in an online relationship for 2 and a half years now and I have never met her in real life.

eh...not really. I'm not a faggot.

She a heroin addict and I haven't talked to her in about a year and a half.

>be me
>23
>Decide to go out for a drive in my car, late night cruise.
>friend texts me, "come out user to said bar"
kk
>Get to bar, friends a plenty, drink just enough to feel it.
>time to go home.
>feelingoodman.png, cruisin minding own business
>Lights appear behind me, comin quick
>jerk overpasses me
>cuts me off, clips front of my car, spin out.
>fuck, fuck been drinking.
>cops come, bust me.
can't get out of this one, fail tests, judge throws book at me.
1 yr suspension, insurance skyrocket for min 5 years. Car is totaled, sell it for scrap.
>own another vehicle.
>gotta survive.
Drive without license for 2 years, no insurance for 6 years, get off scott free.
>daily drive throughout the whole thing.
>MFW I beat the system.

>he is also attracted to me
probably not but if so good for you. nothing wrong with that

Vanilla

I want to rape a girl that is a closet nymphomaniac, stuck with a vanilla beta boy person that pays bills. I want to aggressively take her as she slowly realizes this is the best dick she's ever had. She then gives in and becomes my little whore for 3hours. Would prefer either asian or dominican. A perverted man can dream, can't he?

Apparently I'm a huge racist, because I'm hitting it off really well with my receptionist, but I don't want fuck her because she's not white.

He can, too bad you have been spending too much time watching those taboo Japanese porn videos.
Millions of cucks like you, don't worry.
And yes, you are a cuck.

>Permanent record
>beat the system

Yeah, we were friends for some 6 months, ended up pretty close, I eventually told her, she didn't return.

Few years later and we're still kinda friends, but we're not close. Not really subjecting myself to bs, I don't have any romantic interest in who she's become. I'm glad it didn't get awkward in retrospect. It's the feelings that I miss, she used to drive me nuts, now she just doesnt.

havent seen coulumns, you happen to have it?

Yep - that's kinkster for "normie"

I like taking it in the ass bareback.

Motherless 4B181B1

I've been fucking her for two years. Tim has no idea.

Had a dashcam, cops watched it.
Felt bad for me and only gave me a care and control charge.
Plead no contest, and got a pardon 3 years after.
Beat system then too.
Point is, I beat the insurance companys. fucking blood suckers.

I used the chew on used tampons from the blue bin in the girls toilet after school and pretend a girl in my class was making me do it. also eat poop out of a toilet, same pretense

Wtf?

I'm cheating on my gf. Today was the third time. Another girl left my flat 2 hours ago.

I like to poop just before taking a shower and instead of wiping, I spray the shower nozzle up my ass to clean it off, then spray the bits of crap that come out with the jet to break it up before pushing it down the drain. I wish I had a bidet.

Explain. Never been in a threesome, nor have I watched my useless female be taken by another male.

You mean columns story? sure. great wincest story, he hasn't finished it yet though so it abruptly stops. Here's a little snippit of the story, below is everything up until column stopped.

heres the link, fyi its 367 pages and can take a while to load.

docs.google.com/document/d/1qQG6ccMupLym55SXRntkQbU0F6Mc3WSb3FOELIFuZzc/

yuck.. that bitch is filthy

My dog is the only reason I haven't killed myself yet. I honestly don't give a fuck how my family would feel about it. But the thought of leaving the dog is what's stopping me from doing it

Your momma sucks a mean dick. True NSA story.

My gap teeth hold me back from being a Chad
I piss in people's stuff at college parties in the bathroom
I nutted in my pants humping a pillow once

My ex-girlfriend was really into dogs and talked about how when she was depressed as a teenager, she felt like they were the only ones who understood her. Sometimes I jack off to the idea that she also fucked her dogs.

I'm in love with my coworker, who I believe is out of my league.

Sounds like a lot is holding you back Chad

feel bad for you. torchy's is the shit.

I'm a habitual snoop. If you leave your computer unguarded around me, I will find your unsecured saved passwords in your browser, read your e-mail, etc. I even wrote a keylogging program that will e-mail me someone's key strokes, though I haven't gotten around to installing it on anyone's computer yet.

She's probably crazy

or literally describe anything thats normal.
ex: a feature in a video game that isn't modded
your not using slang if its widely know smh

I almost became a high school teacher a few years ago. When I was student teaching, the only thing that made my day worthwhile was when I'd go home and stalk the Facebook pages of my cute female students and jack off to them.

Dude, that's not cool.

Liberals and progressives hold me back at the college scene. A right winger gets treated like a modern day Lepur there.
The pillow was 7th grade

My niece had her 11th bday recently so I took her and some friends to the mall and told her I'd buy her w/e she wanted for $300ish. I ended up buying her $250 of stuff from victoria's secret. Felt kinda creepy but w/e.

I helped my ex gf get fucked by a friends dog

>Knowing that I've probably eaten next to another b-tard in austin
Fuck.

I have returned! Behold my wonders!

I know. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does it. You should practice good computer security because of people like me.

I'm still in love with a girl from high school. She knows this and uses it to get money out of me.
Occasionally she'll send a tit pic or two.
I'm currently trying to stop this so I don't talk to her, for now

Were you there for it? Did you film it?