ITT: We talk share all of the shitty suicide attempts we've had that never worked

ITT: We talk share all of the shitty suicide attempts we've had that never worked.

> Also, general feels thread

>I was bad off on pills.
>Stole a gun from my parents house and took it into the woods.
>Had the barrel in my mouth and couldn't do it.
>Took gun to pawn shop.
>Pawn person "Woah it's still loaded!"
>Got money and got high.

Wouldn't call it an intended suicide attempt but one night after a few weeks of being hooked on Xanax, I say overdosed. I had about half a bottle left of .5 mg dose, I remember taking 10 of them and not much else. I woke up the next day about 14 hours later in a bush outside my house with McDonald's wrappers everywhere, lost my wallet, phone and keys and was locked out. Closest McDonald's was 8 miles away, no idea how I got there and back. Finally got back inside and the bottle was empty.

did you ever get well or are you still a piece of shit?

when i first came home from iraq, i wanted to die. Had a religious hang up about killing myself. Put my pistol to my head and left the safety on and pulled the trigger a bunch of times hoping it would fail. It didnt.

Damn that shit must have been terrifying.

Got very drunk and took a whole bunch of aspirin in hopes it will terminally fuck up my liver. Puked and basically pissed out of my ass for almost a week. I'm not a very smart man. It didn't, luckily, as that would have been one of the worst ways to die.

> Be me
> Break up with gf
> Been suicidal for quite awhile so all I needed was something to push me over the edge
> Decide to drink about a half liter of vodka by just necking the bottle.
> Go brush teeth and go to bed while roommate looks concerned
> "H-hey user are you alright?.."
> "Yes Michael shut the fuck I'm going to bed"
> Go to bed and end up remembering only a couple things from that night
> Remember almost vomiting but holding it down somehow
> Wake up next day very early still drunk
> "Fuck I'm still alive"
> Have ADHD and am prescribed Ritalin
> Take 30x what I normally take
> Use up entire months worth of prescription
>Down that shit like candy
> Crawl into bed and wait to die

hello ghostnon

> 30 mins pass and my heart is fucking RACING
> sweating profusely and can't speak
> Regret decision
> take quick shower and get dressed in whatever clothes were laying on the floor of my dorm
> snitch and tell my RA what I have done
> takes me to counseling services
> counseling services located at the bottom of large hill
> go down there
> RA and I decide we should walk back up hill to the hospital

I came to this thread in particular to get cancer.

Mission accompl

Wasn't really terrifying but for the life of me I couldn't piece together what I did or how. No friends or family knew where I was or who I was with, if I was with anyone. I was mostly just concerned that someone stole my wallet and emptied my bank account and/or stole my identity but nothing ever happened. To this day I have no idea what happened to my stuff.

...

8 years ago I loaded a gun and put it against my head... I couldn't do it. Does that count as a failed attempt?

> reach the ER and explain the situation
> takes them forever to get me checked in because they are dirty jews
> go into patient room in ER
> force me to drink activated charcoal and draw blood from me
> hooked me up to IV and give me some injections of benzo's to calm my heart down
> look at hospital computer thing and my heart rate is 167 while laying down
> blood test comes back and they find no methylphenidate

>be me
>Gf says that I am too "addicted to affection"
>Takes a break
>Friends tired of me always feeling like shit
>One night decide that I am tired of being a weigth on everyone's shoulders
>Take my bottle of insomnia pills
>Eat that shit up like candy's
>Go to sleep hoping I don't wake up
>Can't sleep
>Regret my choice
>Make myself puke
>Never tried again but often felt like it

anyone here ever played russian roulette? i tried with one round out of six chambers once, but i just didn't have the balls. Checked and saw i would have 'won' (the one bullet was two chambers away), and it somehow made me feel worse.

Drank 4 1/2 bottles of nightquil still alive but got extremely blasted

> doctor comes back in and tells me I have 2 choices
> check into behavioral health voluntarily or you will be chaptered and you will be made our bitch
> check in voluntarily because fucking jews are getting revenge for the holocaust
> forced to strip in front of security guard to make sure I am not armed
> escorted to secure elevator in mental hospital clothes in front of everyone
> humiliated beyond belief
>want to kms even more

This is the most autistic shit ever...

...

...

Don't cut yourself this way. Cut along the arm.

...

Yeah my father says the same thing everytime he looks at me

...

> first night was shit
> couldn't sleep
>wasn't allowed blankets and it was the middle of fucking winter
> some dude with a flashlight comes into my room every 30 mins to make sure I'm alive
> tell him to fuck off
> he fucks off
> next day shower
> nurse has to watch me while I take a shower
> humiliated even more
> go to some group therapy thing
> group is composed of schizophrenics, methheads, and just general mongoloids
> bullshit the whole thing
>meet with psychiatrist
>demand that I be discharged
> forced to discharge me because I am there voluntarily
> but theres a catch
> must undergo a psychological evaluation
> do evaluation
> bullshit the whole thing and act as happy as can be
> doc decides I can be discharged

...

> return to campus a complete wreck
> come back to my room and my OCD roommate comes in CLUTCH
> room is clean
> laundry is done and folded
> everything is in fucking ORDER and I mean ORDER when I say order
> thank him and lie to him about why I was in the hospital
> hang out with friends and explain to them what happened
> they're really understanding
> never thought they would still want to talk to me after telling them that
> thankful
> go and eat with friends
> describe how much I wanted to strangle that jew with the flashlight
> still hate on ex
> don't really blame her for what happened
> deep down inside it was me

Tried to hang myself from closet cloths rod. I was too fat at the time (400 lbs) and the rod broke. I was on a ledge and when every thing happened I smashed my head. Lost consciousness for a while, when I came to I had a plan to turn my life around. So happy I didn't succeed

Anyways that's my spiel. Ask me anything about it all if ya want. I'm an open book.

OD'ed on an antidepressant called Trazodone when I was around 12. Ended up changing my mind last minute, drank like half a bottle of ipecac, spent a little while between vomiting and passing out, until the ambulance arrived.

They gave me a good amount of charcoal. Told that if I didn't get it when I did, it would have been too late.
Was able to play it off as misreading dosage to avoid legal suspicion.

what the fuck you cunt, you should have saved that for another thread. this thread is dead

Maybe you should be dead, user :)

Trying

Same

It won't happen fast enough

me three...

How are you user?

i just jacked off to porn and drank some protein for the mad gainzs

That's the shit right there

sounds like all the gains are going to your meatlog

Well my right biceps are signifcantly bigger than my left from jacking off so that might be a problem down the line

>took dph for about a year straight
>started when the closest person in my life died
>shortly after my family lost the house
>had to live with step sister
>lived there for a couple months
>was on dph about %80 of the time
>wanted to lose myself and never return
>step sister always commented how i help her son and help around the house
>all of a sudden claims im a meth junkie, but wouldn't get drug test like i aid to
>kicks me out
>sent across country to live with junkie aunt
>hated it after first day
>was there for over almost a year
>the last 2 months i was on dph literally 24/7
>took over 1000mg a day
>hoping my organs would fail
>hoping i'd never wake up from the dph comas
>hoping hoping i'd lose my conscienceness forever
nothing

Arm wrestling could be your comeback career

You don't od from 1g dph you fucking dip. Buy some fentanyl analogues online so you can die properly

i know, but it is extremely bad for you, and i would lose big chunks of time being literally gone, like xanax

so it made me feel a little better that my life was moving faster

ok a story before a year
>be 17
last year in school
>starting of the year and i hate myself from the very start
>hate people in school all are retards hippies and dumb fucks
>one night i jacked my dad whisky and a pack off sleeping pills
>took one
>took one more after like half an hour
>fuckit.jepg
>took like 2 more
>still drinking that whisky
>finished almost all of the bottle and then i hear knocks on the door
>shit.exe
>it's my dad offering a ride to school
>took a long look at the sleeping pills and broke down for a sec
>went to school and in the end of the first period i was feeling something going up
>shit shit shit
>run outside and try to get inside the bathroom
>was too drunk so i was in the girls bathroom
>mfw when i see a girl i don't know trying to get out
>mfw when she is scared as fuck and runs inside the toilets
>i puke the floor and mainly on myself
>blackout.avi
>wake up in the man's bathroom
>white shirt is yellow now
>i flip it inside out and thinking about what to do now
>rushed into the class still drunk grabed my shit and got the shit out of school
>mfw i came back home and wanted to kill myself even more from emberessment
>mfw people calld me "user chivas" all that year

i still want to kill myself
i am jobless with no idea what to do and has no friends

One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come through that door

checked
kek

So most of these are cries for help right? Pretty bitch thing to do to your loved ones.

Like I've been depressed and all that, but I've never tried anything because I would have - you know - died. How do you fail at dying?

being a pussy obviously
>have you learn NOTHING!?

Kinda how your mother failed at aborting you

>Be me being 16 back then.
>Has no friends.
>Family tells me im an orphan and hates me for that.
>Goes to school one day.
>Heard that I was an outcast.
>Goes home
>Eavesdropped my parents
>overheard that they were planning to drop me off at an orphanage
>Everything is depressive.
>Tried to formulate a suicide plan.
>Tried rope.jpg.
>Didn't work since every rope here is shitty and would break at an instant.
>Tried Jumping off some place high.
>There is no place high that is accessible to me at the time.
>Tried slitting wrists with knife or razor.
>There was no razor but only a blunt bread knife.
>give up all hopes of suicide.
>laments that death comes to the lucky ones.

Hey plenty of these are legit sad things, for sure. I'm not trying to devalue anyone besides those who are using it as a tool to manipulate. I'm just curious why some wouldn't take the act of dying serious enough to do it right.

i once had someone break into my house, so i charged the fuckers with a toothbrush shiv screaming like a maniac.
i actually hoped they would shoot me, i could maybe kill them or scare them off, and i could bleed out drinking heavily.
but no, somehow i was able to kill one and wound the other. he got away but he was caught a couple hours later.
i got away with a couple bruises and a minor concussion.

the police were pretty confused when they got there.

Remember kids: sideways for attention, longways for results!

someone post the filthy frank clip

Depends on how you approach it.
It can easily be a cry for help, but it can also easily be a cold decision.
Since most attempts are fueled by spikes in emotions, it's easy to fuck it up.
It also matters what measures you have available, obviously guns would be the most definitive, but most just have household means and the process of dying over a period of time rather than instantaneously isn't something someone can easily prepare for, much less hold a self-destructive will long enough to see it to the end.