Stupidest shit you have done while horny

Stupidest shit you have done while horny

Fuck my couch cushion

put my dick in a subwoofer (more bass for stereo)

fucked a banana peel

Howd it feel

licked my elbow

awesome when the bass dropped

wtf topkek

take pictures of my dick, put it on as my wallpaper and feel shameful after I came

Underrated post

Put several half moon shaped Ice cubes in my ass them jerked off.

Its self lubricating as they melt when you insert

Made an underage girl masturbate in front of me. She was 16 and I was 20 so it wasn't that bad. And it was consensual, but the thought of me being able to go to jail for something stupid like that scares me.

Can we possibly made some leftist SJW believe that this photo from Schwarzenegger past is him making some nazi gesture?
Oberleutnant Democratic Gubernator

getting pregnant

wow....what an idea....

Kek

spread pussy

Im 12 and a half and just hit puberty. My friend who just turned 12 was watching porn and he produced sperm, i watch porn sometimes. yet nothing. Do i have any sperm at all? Is they only way to get it out by sex? please help

Some states offer a grace period if the gap is less than 4 years... and now I'm ashamed that I know that

There was this girl. She was same age as my little sister but grew early. One day I was super horny and started playing with her pussy. Then I got her in position. Legs spread open wide, but slightly arched upward. I knew my virgin day were over. I dropped my drawers and started to climb onto her. Just then my mother came yo the door and demanded immediate entry. We got dressed fast. That killed the mood. I had to wait anoth er year year to lose my virginity. Glad I did. A 14 year old fucking a 12 year old is nothing. But a 13 year old fucking a 6 year old would be made out to be this horrible thing. The girl had tits. There was hair on her bush. So what if she was 6? Right?

doubt it

4444444444444

muh mods
MODS
GET IT OUT OF HERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

wedged my dick between a door and started thrusting

Buy a CD I didn't want because it had boobs on the cover.

Used the Used condom from my sis and her bf

>hair at 6yo

Yea no user.....

Nice b8

samefag

Asked her out.

You're right. If she has matured and consents there's nothing wrong with it.

almost being dad

lol ur fucked

...

I raw dogged a tremendous fat chick on a shopping cart . Stupid dick wasn't listening, she smelled terrible

dick melts?

>Made an underage girl...
>Consensual
pick one.

your friend is going to have to suck it out of you. it's kind of like a well pump. it has to be primed the first time.

have some self respect dude.

>Buy a CD I didn't want because it had boobs on the cover.

now that's pathetic

Was 14

Showed pics of my girlfriend/exes to their friends/people who know them cause its fun. But they knew it was me and I could have gotten caught.

Came so hard tho

Show off my girlfriend on Sup Forums and forums with name, social media, etc, nudes.. hoping they never whiteknight

lol, IE

I spent an entire month trying to suck my own dick. One night, after rigorous warming up I achieved it and came in my mouth. No permanent damage to my back or anything but it hurt.

The dumb part was that it didn't even feel that great because of all the straining. That and cumming in my own mouth. Would not recommend

...

underage can not consent faggot

>6
>hair
come on man

reply to craigslist ads

I hold a bottle between my legs since it makes it more horny for some reason

16 ain't underage where I come from, don't feel bad just because you're country has an arbitrarily higher consent age than others

SuhYou have to fuck him in the ass

legit tried fucking a jello cup once. orange flavor. thought it might feel good to twist it around on my head

did not work

upon insertion the entire cup of jello instantly fell out onto my lap

10/10 would do again. it was refreshing

I once convinced my girlfriend to go on omegle and get guys to jack off to her while she got herself off too, all the while i was watching to the side.
turns out she had never been on the site before and was amazed by it. it has become almost routine for her to go on there atleast once a month and not long ago she has started hinting at trying out 3somes and shit. ive seen the guys she stops and has fun with, they all have great figures and are packing big cocks, neither of which i have.

problem is i sort of encouraged it the first few times thinking it was hot, now its fucked up. but when i know shes up to it i get horny af.

so yeah, that was pretty stupid.

pic related is her.

I went to the village and bought a 12yo girl for 8 camels, then I banged her in front of my other 3 wifes.
I regret doing that because I lost one of my favourite camels

Let my dog lick my dick.
Also attempt to masturbate mid-class but I realized how stupid that was before anyone saw.

Topkek

Your mom

...

full frontal, cuck

How does horse cock feel?

we need a penis masquerade party thread

ok

Thought some girl might actually be interested in me. Sent a polite and complimentary message. Never heard from her again. I hate humanity.

Squatted on my windowsill at 3 in the morning and wanked out the window.Would not recommend as after you cum it is fucking terrifying and i started shaking really fucking bad. So yeah,no matter how good an idea it seems just dont

make a thread an I'll post mines

Fucked my then girlfriend's mum......

I wish I knew. I would think big, thick, warm & pulsing. I want to play with one

Same here. Ive dreamed of jerking one off until it cums all over me. I wish in my ass. Anal creampies are a dream

Worked in a deli. slow one night. hot register girl had come back for a sandwhich and pushed her Ass up against my dick before giggling and running away. I cut an 8 inch chunk of bologne, warmed it in the oven at 200 for 15 minutes, cut a hole in it, brought it into the walkin fridge and fucked it... customer waiting when I came out.

>pushed her Ass up against my dick before giggling and running away
Nice job small dick

She was a 15 year old cashier, I was a 19 year old deli worker. not a small dick, she was just a giggly little girl.

Keep telling yourself that.

I'd recommend it i've jerked off a horse while the owner watched. She came hard when the horse shot its load at my face.

hot

story time?

Perform auto-fellatio after promising myself to never do it again because of ensuing back pain.

lmao ikr its not worth it at all

came into a rubber glove inside of a warm towel...

...I have never felt so pathetic and satisfied at the same time...

...

I just wish I could get laid.

Sounds like you're baiting this guy for dick pics, fagget.

Just so you know user, you could have fucked her. Teen years, hormones are racing, she wanted some dick and you failed to give it to her.

I am ashamed of you.

gr8 m8

...

I want it so bad. Like I constantly think about it.

yeah dude huge fuck up - bitch I'm banging right now has a boyfriend that talked her into threesomes. That bird is flying now

I once tried to make a dildo of my own anatomy while drunk. When I was making the mould the alginate set too quickly. I used it as a fleshlight instead

I had fucked lots of hot girls... she had previously been an ugly duckling...I still thought of her as ugly geeky girl.small town 1500 people. I would have been embarrased at the time. 30 year old me? i would demolish that.

Fucked a plastic bag in between bed cushions with lotion. It fucked my dick skin up and a few days later all of the skin peeled of in weird hard cracked looking patterns.

It also hurt like a motherfucker.

lol

Fucked a lemon

Got scared and ashemed when my member got all red and irritated afterwards

Put my dick in apple sauce.

Similar experience. I've been interested in bondage for a while and decided to try out some self-bondage. I was visiting home over the summer, so had my mom and little brother in the house.

3AM, raining outside. I strip ass-naked in the living room and I went from half-asleep to feeling like I snorted a gram of caffeine. I was so nervous and so terrified that i could feel my heart beating out of my chest and I was shaking so hard i could barely open the front door.

I went outside in the rain naked, walked across the front lawn, and went around back to a strip of side-woods we had between us and the adjacent street.

I tied myself, legs spread and hands over head, to a tree. I wasn't visible from the street or house, but it took me over an hour to get free.

I felt like I was going crazy trying to sneak back in.

Its honestly an amazing feeling. Maybe not something that i would want to do again in a while, just with being back at college with my GF, whos not really into it, but definitely again at some point. Just the feeling of being exposed like that and the "holy shit, I'm actually doing this" and being able to feel the risk is so thrilling.

Stealin my grandma's bra

Lego in pooper

>Be me, livin alone and horny as fuck
>Really like putting junk up my ass
>"Well shit I'll just try doing an enema before, bet it will feel way better afterwards"
>Go to shower
>Lube up the showerhose without the head
>Insert
>Start water
>Take a shit
>"Phew that was good"
>Go back on the couch, assume the possition, start with sharpies, then move on to a hairbrush
>Pull out hairbrush
>FUCKING WATER STARTS LEAKING ON SOFA
>OH SHIT
>PANIC, GET UP, EVEN MORE WATER STARTS LEAKING OUT OF ASSHOLE
>Boner=dead
>Ended up just cleaning the shit up

fapped to Hatsune Miku

>Used to have a poop fetish
>pooped in toilet
>grabbed poop and put back in butt
>pooped again


I really dont know why.