How the fuck does one country get BTFO this badly?

How the fuck does one country get BTFO this badly?

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>114 goals against

>that batshit ridiculous GD for every team because they blew micronesia out that badly

What sport is this?

divegrass

IDK bro

>losing to SAMOA
>PER
>FUCKING
>CAPITA

You try and find one American on the streets who knows anything about rugby

I saw that movie about SA Springbok Rugby, the one with Matt Damon.

You have a domestic rugby competition
When I went to the US everyone I chatted to knew the all blacks

m8 I dont know what part of the US you went to but around here nobody would even know New Zealand was good at rugby

LOL those must have been general sports fans. Guarantee you 99%+ of random Americans will have never heard of them. Though I will say I have seen the All Blacks logo on a car once but they might have been a Kiwi expat.

Thats actually not that hard if you live in any city with a university.

I talked to a American woman online who thought I was being racist when I said that year the All Blacks were shit.

Hawaii and California
To be fair I was wearing Rugby jerseys because they are nice and breathable in hot weather. So it was probably a nice easy obvious topic to talk about

By chat i mean a proper long chat not just in passing so it was only like 7 or 8 people

did you omit the "the"

I always found it strange how New Zealanders would say "Go the All Blacks"

b-but we dont care about this sport

Same argument you use for football even though you have millions playing the game

>micronesia

Wat. Like small Indonesia?

>not naming the country Indonesinho

youtube.com/watch?v=X5dGshxzJ5k

But that's only a small portion of their....

Oh yeah they don't believe in per capita

Major League Soccer draws less than 5% of the revenue that the NFL does. Rugby is far less popular than even soccer.

>Vanuatu holds the record for biggest BTFO in a soccer match

Imagine if Micronesia played a team like Germany

Probably would look like this except a shutout

Micronesia didnt have any islands big enough for a soccer field.

Looks like manure playing the UCL

and we're talking about less than 1% of American sporting youths having even played it on a team.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to see it become popular, but it's not even nearly as popular as fucking lacrosse.

trust me, no one here knows or cares about rugby
including me

Biggest growing sport. Maybe next world cup you will make it out of the pool stage :^)

>BTFO by the likes of Fiji and Tahiti

Why bother even exist?

Where's Argentina?

It's growing but there's no money in it so it'll just be a meme sport here, especially if it has to compete with football.

If we wanted to be good, we'd just do what we did with the NHL and the Rugby world cup would live permanently among Americans who neither know nor care about its existence.

Your football teams know them well enough to knock off their Haka.

youtube.com/watch?v=H1lOUzq-KWg

Shhh your facts aren't suiting his narrative

it's not that surprising that an American football player would have come across the haka, especially if it has pacific islanders.

normal Americans would have no clue about the All Blacks or the Haka

That movie was inaccurate, they forgot the part where the South Africans literally poisoned the all blacks before the final

what narrative? that rugby has about as much popularity in the US as baseball does in Oz/NZ?

>uk has almost 10 times the number of players of the second nation with most rugby players
>doesn't ominate the fuck out of every competition

hahaha

Hello

Nice proxy faggot

Nah, honestly I wish lived elsewhere.

Ain't Tahiti a literal paradise?

Post pictures of your currency then

You try and find one Pacific Islander in the bush that knows anything about soccer.

It isn't

There you go

Well I'll be damned you sure showed me then

What's wrong about it m8?

I sure did.

Too many island niggers

How shitty is your internet connection there?

Very shitty. Gets even worse when it's raining.

>BTFO by a country that doesn't even have its own Wikipedia page

jesus... J Kaltack of Vanuatu (wtf) scored 16 goals by himself against Micronesia.
Props to the one dude in camo pants.

>How the fuck does one country get BTFO this badly?
Imagine you're a little Micronesian boy. You've just put your school days behind you, which consisted of a shirtless old woman with tits like fried eggs nailed to a plank of wood, standing at the front of the class ugging and ooging a way through a maths lesson, demonstrated by counting the results of a blunt axe and a rock. You're told by your former PE teacher that as one of 23 males in the country between the ages of 7 and 23, you've been selected to represent mighty Micronesia against the godless hordes of Fiji, Vanuatu, and Tahiti. Terrified at the thought of all the words you didn't understand, you're quickly distracted by the coach who dangles meat and pornography in front of your eyes, luring you to a large canoe by the shore. After 15 minutes of rowing you remember your name and where you're going. Turning back, your tiny little island gets smaller and smaller.

You land on a new island, this one containing mysterious, large brown and green structures that you later find out are called "trees". You ask for food and a man points you to a building. A shop, apparently. You walk in, pick up a handful of fruit, and walk out. A man shouts after you and drags you back inside. You understand nothing, not just because this ungodly cretin speaks funny, but because you see IT. A silver set of stairs constantly in motion. You hand the fat man his fruit back and walk towards them. You hesitate. You wait for the moment. Wait for it... Now. You step on and it takes you up. You've never felt such exhilaration. This doesn't even compare to the time Ok'lakman'ouwe got nipped by a crab and you didn't stop laughing for 3 weeks, 4 days, 9 hours and 37 minutes. This is sheer thrill. You get up to the 2nd floor and run to the one that takes you down again. 2 hours later, a mob has formed, possibly attracted to your wild clapping and laughing. Now's the time to leave, you can play later.

You step outside and are spotted by the coach. He hands you a pair of shoes, something you've never worn before and tells you the game is in 30 minutes. 30 minutes had always been a particularly favourite period of time for you. It's exactly 30 minutes from 0 minutes which is exactly 30 minutes from 30 minutes. Whenever you'd play watchclock you'd blink wildly out of pleasure at the sight of 30, or 0. You start laughing to yourself and receive a moderately deserved slap from the coach. You put on the shoes and begin practicing in them, walking forwards, leftwards and sometimes backwards. You really get the hang of it and gradually build up to a gentle canter in them. No one can stop you.

You clip-clop to the stadium behind the coach and several other boys from the village, also clip-clopping and raising their legs. "Some of these amateurs haven't got the hang of shoes yet", you think to yourself. You give little Manaui'wati a demonstration of how to jump and he jumps out of his size banana shoes. "Manaui'wati is probably a size coconut". You thank the great sky breast that you got given a size cassava. Coach sits you all down and gives you the game plan. You'll line up in a H formation, H for Hanai'manaiwo - our god who will be pleased by this strategy and deliver us the win. A great plan. You all cheer and chat, and you get a chance to ask the others if they've ridden the stairs yet.

You step out onto the field, and line up in the H. You walk to the middle circle. A man wearing black drops his coin and you give it back to him. He gives the ball to the opposing team and tells you to leave the circle. "Cheating already?", you think to yourself. They'll get a taste of your boot soon. The whistle blows, the game begins. You waddle over to the opposing player and give him your opening kick. He dodges it and pushes the ball past you. He runs to the goal and puts the ball into an unmanned net. Your coach starts screaming at Onoi'manai who's wearing gloves. You didn't understand either, it's quite cold here, but mangoº is not really gloves weather. You get the ball back and this is your chance. You strut up to the ball, give it a touch, begin a canter, and trip over. "Drats", you're still not used to this grass stuff. The ball gets taken and run into the unmanned net again. After conceding the first 12 goals, Onoi'manai really gets the hang of his position and begins standing near the net. He always was smart, and it only took him 7 minutes and 24 seconds. 21 minutes and 34 seconds later you customarily begin blinking furiously. The scoreboard reads 19-0. Here's where you launch the comeback, you think, as you sit down and contemplate said comeback. The man in black blows his whistle and you sit down for the coach's new gameplan - the H was not really working out this time. Second half, you line up in the new, improved A formation. After a few flurries of activity, you strike up a conversation with your teammate standing in the middle bit of the A. 45 minutes later you catch sight of the time. "Excuse me for a moment" and you blink wildly. The man in black blows his whistle. 46-0 to Vanuatu. Not so bad, you'll get them next time.

autism

its 6 am, what am I doing with my life.
>this is great though

I read that whole fucking thing in this guys voice
youtube.com/watch?v=eb1vcaqAivY

Good posts.

Surprisingly interesting read.

Can't wait til reddit sees this.