Feels thread

feels thread

>tfw you stand up for yourself...then get told youre wrong for even talking and everythings your fault

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Bump

Bump for first feel story.

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>701793108

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didn't realize this was a ylyl thread

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LOTR novel. Sad one, at that.

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Didn't expect actual feels

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Fucking hell this hit home.

Time to do gym and work I'm procrastinating

This is true, I'm a virgin but I know I'm attractive. I feel fine.

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it was fun for a little while to think that someone genuinely cared about me... i was probably just being conceited. i deserve to be alone. i just wish they would come out and actually tell me that i had fulfilled my purpose to them and that they didn't care about me anymore. i'm okay with being thrown away, i just don't want to be fooled into thinking i'm not.

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this guy should definitely think about hiring those guys

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bruh are you me?

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>stay up late drinking
>realize that i've been drinking to drown out my sorrows so often that i now take an absurdly large amount of alcohol to properly get drunk
>lay down for a while
>feel like dying
>"i guess i should stop drinking for tonight"
>put the beers back in the fridge
>every time i say i'm going to quit, i don't, because there's nothing else in my life

>Want to bitch about my problems to someone
>Realize I have nobody
>End up going to Sup Forums
how pathetic can i get

>have a good breakup
>feel absolutely nothing, not better or worse just, just, nothing
Feels weird feels good feels bad it's just hard to explain

You may be pathetic, but you're not alone. Every single person in this thread is right here with you.

>want to die
>never, even now, considered dying by my own hands
is this purgatory

i'd probably be alright if i just had someone who loved me and who i loved back. that would be enough i think.

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bruh

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I'm 22 and I've never had a girlfriend

but hey whatever

it's cool

isnt that why we're all here? even if no one you know cares, at least here you know no one. no pressure user

>be me grade 11 2013-2014 year
>be 15, born in November 1997
>finally start liking girls (late bloomer)
>fall for this one girl
>we're in band together 2nd year in a row
>we were in middle school band too, but I didn't remember her
>she plays flute
>why do the prettiest girls play the flute?
>be shy beta fag
>decide to be her friend
>success.jpg
>turns out we both like Zelda, have social interaction issues, etc...
>april 2014
>band camp trip
>sitting with her and her friends at table
>she starts talking about "Dustin"
>ask who Dustin is
>she says Dustin is her boyfriend
>show no reaction but inside feel this burning sensation
>she sometimes talks about her sexual relations with Dustin
>mfw
>fast forward to 2015-2016 year
>give her my cell # and email on last day of class
>she occasionally texts me
>she has no idea how I feel about her

>everything I've ever tried to accomplish has been a failure
>all of my projects end in failure or are never completed
>used to have hopes and dreams until I fucked up all of my opportunities
>it doesn't matter how hard a task is or how much I want to succeed
>it doesn't matter if I have to work for it or if its practically given to me I still find a way to fuck it up
>try to learn new things or to better my skills
>fail to grasp the new concepts and get discouraged after I can't even get the first fucking step right no matter how long or hard I try
>try to improve on the things I can do, fail to remember new concepts and ultimately never apply them or outright fail to actually understand them in the first place
>even in the things I'm good at I'm not even that great, average or slightly above average skill level in them
>never been able to hold a job, practically given a path that could have lead to my dream job though like the incompetent lazy idiot I am I fucked it up and completely ruined that opportunity
>can't even get hired at the local dollar store due to the fact that I have no experience whatsoever and I'm still I HS failing at 19 years old
>wake up every morning with something I want to do or learn, a new idea and a new scheme to better my life no matter how small

I think that too, but I think it's too much of a hassle to actually try. I feel shitty

>fuck that up too
>try to come up with small little projects in areas I understand well but never can come up with any ideas
>occasionally come up with a really cool idea, plan it out, draw up blueprints and write parts lists, think up strategies and put all of my efforts into making it a reality, but ultimately they always fail due to the fact that I can never afford the equipment I need
>expelled from school once almost completely ruining my record and making it ten times harder to get into post secondary, if I ever manage to escape secondary
>horrible autistic level social skills, have lived my life completely alone and hold only two or so friends who I never see in person and barely ever talk to who as of late have actively began refusing to invite me to any things they do together
>haven't even kissed a girl let alone had a meaningful relationship with one, closest I've ever gotten I asked a girl out and she just stood me up and ignored me for the rest of the year
>family cheated out of large sums of money and inherited land by other family members and friends
>have lived most of my teen life on food stamps with a clinically depressed mother in a house that was falling apart covered in dog feces only slightly turning up in the last three or so years when we finally got on our feet and got her medication
already

>try to go to a therapist and they refer me to a psychologist who's a compete idiot and diagnosed me with fucking video game addiction of all things when I clearly exhibit signs of serious depression ADD and Schizophrenia according to the therapist and instead of offering me the help I need he essentially tells me to get a fucking life and that he can't help me
>don't want to die as that seems pointless to me, might as well live and maybe with the law of large numbers some day it'll get better
>don't blame my failure on my supposed mental illness, its my fault for failing to make something out of my life
>don't blame anyone else for this, yet again its still my fault

I wish I wasn't me or wasn't on this planet. I'd ask why this happens to me but I know the answer

mate, don't worry, women are the niggers of humanbeings

>dont even go on Sup Forums much anymore, just show up in feels threads every once and a while because it's the only place where i feel at home

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Reminds me of the one with the Arab guy who played a few valve games with a guy and never came back online.
Sad really.

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Hey Sup Forums, I just wanted to tell you I am starting to feel better! Still 350 pounds but I've been going to the gym a few times a week, and feel more confident. Maybe there is hope for me yet?

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NYPA

The fact that you can still feel anything is more than what I can do. Keep at it, if not for you then do it for me

tbh vidya helped me a shit ton through high school, was really lonely so would play quake with buddies on a single server every night.

How do I read this? I'm confused.

gratz dude, I try to workout often but still end up falling into an alcoholic depression which causes me to miss a few weeks at a time.

And I think that she's gonna come back and fish me out of the trash, and reuse me then throw me away again. I get your feels.

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>mfw I can't even tell b8 from newfags anymore

Shit man, I almost cried at that...

It's all the same. You call it b8 they'll agree with you. You call them a newfag they'll just say it's b8

This is a great story.

Damn, why do estranged father green texts always hit me?

moar plz

Here's my story. It's pretty boring but I feel like sharing.

>be 14
>Living with my mom and brothers
>parents were divorced when I was young, still would visit father occasionally
>dad texts me all the time asking how I am and shit
>mother an alcoholic
>freshman year of highschool
>friends since 3rd grade too cool for me now
>start socially withdrawling
>browse Sup Forums constantly
>play vidya in room all day
>develop such severe social anxiety I can't even talk to family members
>only contact with mother is arguments daily
>my one brother I argue with constantly as well
>say incredibly fucked up things to my mother, like that she's a terrible mother, it's her fault my one brother is unsuccessful and her fault I don't have friends
>say incredibly fucked up things to my brother, that he's a leech on our family and I don't care at all about him
>stop responding to dad's texts
>stop visiting dad when brothers go to college
>just me and mom
>fast forward to junior year
>on acid, attempt suicide
>scared of myself, I tell my mom
>she's angry at me, yells at me, gets me into treatment
>mom always asking me to come out of my room
>asking me to come with her to watch a movie or eat dinner with her
>always refuse, yell at her for bothering me
>brothers come to visit, ask me if I want to hang out with them
>I say I'm busy playing videogames
>always tell me "i can talk to them about anything"
>still get texts from dad asking how I'm doing, never respond
>Fast forward, summer before going to college
>Things have gotten slightly better for me socially it seems
>Old friends invite me out to parties unexpectedly, are all really nice for some reason
>Still spend most of my time playing vidya tho
>One night my mom is crying, comes into my room
>"user! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!?WHY WON'T YOU COME INTO THE REAL WORLD!??"
>Suddenly it clicks for me
cont.

This isn't me showing off btw
>have rich parents
>been all over the world before I was 12
>safaris in Africa, Eastern Asia allover Europe, most states in the US, Canada Mexico a few countries in Samerica, lived on Hawaii, sailed along the Virgin Islands up the entire US coast through Bermuda to Maine before I was 12, seen so many different kinds of animals and once in a lifetime experiences
>I'm now in my 20s and I literally find no joy in anything because it's just too plain, can't have a nice dinner with a girlfriend because it's just dinner, I might as well be doing this or that, not that I find any joy in those either because when I do those I just get bored and want to something else
>lose relationships because I'm so chronically bored that I can't fall asleep and I'm just tired all day every day so they think I don't care about them anymore
>so used to lying about everything so people leave me alone that I lie without thinking about it in everyday conversations and to anyone

I literally don't know what to do anymore.

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>My mother has still cared about me all this time, even though I was a total asshole to her and never stopped asking me to do things with her even though I always refused
>Brothers care about me even though I was an asshole to them and ignored them
>Dad always kept texting me asking me how I was and giving me updates even though I never responded
>even old friends when I came out asked me how I was and how I was doing, why I was spending all day in my house and tried to hook me up with girls etc.
>realize I've completely destroyed relationships with everyone in my life who has ever cared about me
>Leaving for college now, no time to make up for lost time
>wasted away highschool years
>brothers have jobs in other parts of the country
>off at college, little time at home with mom
>Dad dies of multiple strokes alone, my step mom was busy at work
>mfw I was sitting in my room all day ruminating about how nobody cares at me when I was surrounded by people that had cared about me the whole time
>mfw my dad died having not even talked to me in years, never stopping thinking about me even though I've done nothing but ignore him
>mfw I'm literally the most horrible person in existence

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Dang.

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I'm the happiest I've been in a while today and I've never wanted to kill myself as much as I do right now

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CHECK'EMMM
sad af still

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I'm genuinely convinced that this world is another universes hell.

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