How do I get an girlfriend? I needz help guys

How do I get an girlfriend? I needz help guys...

Step 1. Finish School

Comeback in a few years for step 2.

I've used my time machine to head into the future, can you tell me step two now?

if you've been to the future then you already know.

...

Here are some pointers:

1) Learn how to tell when a girl is interested in you.
2) Date online (these are women looking to date)
3) Take a good look in the mirror. Rate yourself on a 1-10 scale. Subtract three points. That is how most women see you.
4) Lower your expectations.

More thoughts: no one gives a shit if your partner is fat or ugly. If women are not drawn to you naturally, then you are going to have to accept that you are likely not in the top 20% of attractiveness for a guy. Do not waste time trying to "win someone over." Exercise and eat a good diet for your sake, not to attract a partner.

If you really want a coach, give me a way to contact you. If you just wanted to bitch, that's fine, too.

This guy lol

well, i'll just go back to suicidal thoughts then

Just tell her how you feel man.

If you have suicidal ideation, then you need to talk to a professional. I am not a professional. I can't help you there.

You don't

Make the girl laugh, then fuck her, only if it's consensual though... the laughter not the fucking obviously

There has to be intent though, being funny isn't enough, you have to escalate or you just become that funny guy.

book of pook

1. Basic Hygiene. eg Shower once a day + Shower after sport/sweating. Wash sheets once a week/fortnight. Clean your room. Air it out.Get rid of stank. Wash your clothes. Iron your clothes. Throw out your old shit and wear something that fits you. Cut your nails. Cut your hair. Shave your pube fuzz under your chin and above your lip. Do this every day. Use face wash. Use moisturiser. Use soap.

2. Be interesting. Eg have a life outside the computer. Get a fucking hobby. Pick up a sport, like tennis, rock climbing etc whatever. Be shit now, its ok. In 2 years you will be good and will profit. Read books. Learn geography. Watch the news. Have opinions and something to say. So when you do eventually have a conversation, you don't just herp derp.

3. Do things. If you want a girlfriend you have to meet girls. Be spontaneous and go out. Do a dance class,go to concerts, go to bar, watch comedy show, go camping. Just be out. Have a routine cafe you buy your coffee from. Anything that will give you the chance tointeract with girls in a normal way. Odds are you are probably incapable of treating them like humans. So you need to work on that. Nothing is more repulsive than a boy who only sees girl girl girl.

4. Make more friends in general.Friends introduce you to more friend. They invite you to parties. They are useful. Boys and girls. Female friends are great. They will help you become better. Use them. Take their advice and be better.

Do not do online dating if you never dated anyone. You might think its a better idea since you dont have to interact with them irl but that will only cause you to sperg out more and increase your social anxiety.

Here are some ways how i made gf.

1.Get friends. Before you get a gf make friends. And be part of thier social group.
You already got bunch of friends? thats good no? then work on it.

2. You will eventually like a girl within ur social group, make sure they acknowledge ur presence. Doesn't have to sperg out with memes, occasionally ask simple general questions like how she's been, school, sports games, hobbies etc.
Something generic and not awkward, something that she might like to talk about it more. It really depends on a situation if you are new to college or highschool student about to go to uni, uni is one of the best subject to talk about.

3. If you completed step above correctly for awhile, you and her should be pretty close, not super close but enough to say "friends".
Now this is the game changer, could be super easy or super hard depending on few things such as your appearance, social skills intelligence, timing etc. Ask her out. Make sure you and her had enough time to know each other but not too much (1~3months). Ask her out to hang out with you. Just two of you guys noone else. Make sure she knows its a date but not serious. Hey annonette wanna go for movies/swim/whatever with me on saturday?. And if she says yes then take her out, if she asks you if its a date say "well sure if you want it to be ;)" works every time for me.

...

You can do wahtever you like with her but i suggest doing something fun and active instead of just smoking weed and watching nexflix if you want her to be ur gf. If she is quiet shy type who likes to read books, take her out to museum or art gallery, if she likes something more active take her out to beach if you can bring your dog thats a plus. Something memorable. DOnt come too hard on her, be casual and let her latch on to you. Touch her occasionally like holding hands or wrap around her waists etc.

and last and most importantly you really really have to like her. SHe will know

You know why people say "be yourself?" because she will not love you for who you aren't. You have to be yourself and let her love you. I mean how can you expect someone to love you when you arent even urself?

1. Buy chloroform and a rope
2. Find the girl of your dreams
3. Trap her in an alley and chloroform her
3. Tie her up to a pole
4. ?????
5. Profit

oh my, some of the nicest replies in this thread.
come on Sup Forums. where is your inner Sup Forumsitch ??

K, well this is some pretty good advice. Will me being a nerd affect this in any way?

chloroform is far from effective, you should use ether or a decent dose of nitrous

Golf clap. This is reasonable advice OP.

>Touch her occasionally like holding hands or wrap around her waists etc.
>you really really have to like her.
>she will not love you for who you aren't.
>I mean how can you expect someone to love you when you arent even urself?

Are you 16 or cpt. autismo?
Pro tip: If she knows for shure you are really into her, and you havent even have a few fucking sessions, she will probably lost interest if she is not desperate. Chick needs to be kept in uncertainty to carve for your dick. Even if you really like her, send some mixed signals, have some bussiness of your own, dont allways have time for her etc...
In other words, it is easier to fuck a chick if you are not really into her.

Also, holding hands should be 3hours before fucking. If she is virgin or almost, at least some making out.

Jesus fucking chirst. Did you learn everything you know bout chicks from facebook inspirational quotations?

Champs use taser. Fuck her while she still shake. Shit is diamonds.

How old are you? Dating is typically easier or harder depending on if you're in high school, college, or working.

For me, college was the easiest. Most people tend to shed their sperg around this point and you have a nice pool of people away from home who want to make connections with new people. Join clubs and go to social gathering for a start.

Allways, allways! check for pubes in food you serv her. Allways.
Learned it the hard way.