>be me 22, circa 2009 >be in relationship with jewish girl >loved her as much as niggers loved their watermelons >get invited to her older brothers 18th birthday >whatevs free booze and maybe sexy times with gf later that night. >get tipsy on nothing but tequila shots and smirnoff vodka. >sees gf with her older bro talking with his friends >start making subtle sexual advances on gf >pushes me off and says we do it later at night >my dick is hard and i can feel it pulsating. >I decide to watch a movie to kill time >borrow babes ipad and decide to watch that new movie inglorious basterds. >get to scene where they have that shoot-out at bar >retard mode activated.hmv >open safari, search up "nazi bdsm porn" >you know the bdsm nazi leather girls with those spanky thingies >start going to town on 'ol bear jew's bat >cum all over my chest >pull up shorts and boxers >lay in bed cuz alcohol + orgasm = too much >slowly start dozing off >mfw woken up by gf cuz she threw the ipad with the thumbnail of the nazi porn video still there >mfw I sat through an entire hour comforting her about her great grandparents that died in the holocaust >mfw I can feel cum dripping down my shorts
Wyatt Hill
...
Cameron Hill
bump
Dylan Wood
As they would say in german "komisch"
Jaxon Rodriguez
Put me in the screencap. This is god fucking tier.
Hudson Phillips
I am on my phone and my screen cant fit it. maybe someone on a desktop can screencap it for keepsakes and lulz
Ethan Sullivan
...
Dylan Gomez
Jesus man
Nathan Cooper
Okay. I got a short but sweet one. >be me >school year of 2008 >around 7th-8th grade, i don't remember >attend christian private school >the place was a general shithole >school forces students to go to church every wednesday >wednesday morning in november >priest is doing his normal shit, gospel, etc. >stops mid-gospel "Erm, excuse me for a moment." >he walks off to a door near the side of the podium >begin hearing a faint noise >sounds like... oh god no >the old man left his fucking mic on while pissing >toilet water splashes heard >he literally took a piss and shit with his mic on, old man grunts and all >students and even teachers giving eachother awkward looks Here's where I fucked up. >whole church is silent at this point >blurt out "PISS BE WITH YOU!" >got a week of detention >worth it
Xavier Davis
Jesus, OP. You're retarded.
Juan Mitchell
What kind of priest takes a bathroom break in the middle of a procession?
Evan Perez
His old man bladder probably couldn't handle it.
Jace Johnson
I know user, I know. And I still miss her sometimes.
Hudson Hughes
When you gotta go you gotta go
Jack Johnson
>be me 22 >her older brothers 18th birthday I have several questions
Gavin Lewis
ahaha she was 17 at the time but yeah back then I was a stupid guy
Anthony Russell
DEAD
William Evans
good catch user. top fucking kek
Austin Anderson
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Nathan Murphy
>Be 19 >Get Job at Pizza place at the mall >I had just moved to new city and was still getting used to new town >notice very little people coming to eat >infact there are very little people in the mall all together and there isn't many stores either >I got a job at a dead mall >Mfw we got closed down 6 months later >The mall is closed as well and is abandoned now If you ever get a job at a mall make sure it's not dead.
Daniel Thomas
user.. just.. just no
Jayden Richardson
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Colton Murphy
>Be on a rave >on E >2 blondes 7-8/10 turn every second around and smile and gaze at me >Try to smile back >5 mins of this shit >puke >go clean myself >get back >no grills
Logan Carter
user, this pic was literally just posted in a reaction thread.
