Alright here's a story
>Be me
>Work in tard place
>Not your regular fucking aspie center
>Hardcore nuclear tard beast demon hellhole
>Tards look like rejects from a Cronenberg movie
>One of them looks like as if the California raisins got fused together in a horrible microwave experiment
>Go to work
>All goes as usual
>I just sit and make sure that the Chernobyl potatoes don't fucking kill themselves (not sure if they're mortals at this point)
>I pull out a shitty Nokia
>Play snake
>Mid game phone rings
>All those "creatures"
>They all start heading towards me
>I go to the bathroom and take the call
>Fucking idiot tries to sell me shit
>I go back to my seat and watch the demons of hell fight for freedom
>Or they're probably playing with toys
>Phone rings again
>Idea arises
More?
Alright here's a story
Continue
Nobody on Sup Forums wants to hear Tard stories you newfag
Go on
I like where this is going.
>Later that night
>I go to a tech shop
>Buy a cheap shitty phone
>Nokia
>Go to work
>Open options menu
>Ringtone options
>Preview Ringtones
>Silence of the judgement hall is quickly broken by the call of the devil.
>It's just the regular Nokia ringtone
>Tards start going towards me
>I stop the ringtone
>It's "nap time"
>2 carers go to tards and read stories so they fall asleep
>Tards go in break room
>I stay to watch over the subdued demons
>Set alarm with ringtone
>Hide phone in plant
>30 mins later
>Tards arise
>They all start roaming
More?
>Chernobyl potatoes
I fucking lost it
Eh i'll bite
Quick elaboration
The "break room" is a room where tards go to sleep. There's no door. Carers stay on the other end and read.
go on.
>Chernobyl
I fucking CHEEKI BREEKI'D
Continue op
Proceed sir
>Alarm stops
>Tards are confused
>They just crawl around aimlessly
>I dig the phone out of the soil
>Play ringtone again
>Tards start jumping and reaching for the phone
>I go to staff room
>Army of tards follow
>I begin pacing around while Nokia ringtone is on full blast
>Other staff members are eating lunch outside
>I'm in the dark with an army of tards
>Nothing good is coming to mind
>Except
except what???
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP
Ch ch checked
>Open doors
>Light shines through the doorframe
>I throw the Nokia with great force
>It stops praying the ringtone
>Tards storm outside
>Passers-bys watch as the events unfold
>Carers try to round up tards while shouting at me and scolding me
>Raisin mutant tard takes phone
>Starts pressing random buttons
>Runs to the inside
>Many tards follow as others stare at cars
>Two personnel scold me
>Three more go after tards inside
Any of them known by the name Neil?
He might refer to himself as "FFFBTBTBPPPTHHH"
..............
>I instantly get fired
>Personnel grab tards and lock themselves inside
>People are looking at me
>I get on bus and go home
>Next day
>Search for jobs
>See something interesting
>"Centre for "special" children seeks young volunteers to help with amazing little children"
>I internally kek
>Find job at a supermarket to stock shelves
>Take what I can get
>A month later
>I begin looking for a second part time job
>"Well funded special needs center looking for cheerful young teenz" (spelled with a z)
I lose it
>Upon further investigation
>Tard teens
Can't get any better
>Place goes bankrupt in a few years
Cont, i'm listening
That's basically it.
Now I am depressed. Tell me another story or kys
No stories yet
I'm currently trying to find a job at a local mall as an announcer. You know. Those faggots who play music and say shit on the intercom. If I get the job I might have another story.