Alcoholic Partner

Alcoholic Partner

>Recently started living together with girlfriend.
>Discover she smokes 20 cigs a day.
>Discover she drinks 2 bottles of wine a night, Monday-Thursday.
>Discover she drinks 3 bottles of wine a night Friday- Sunday, plus 'stressful' nights.
>Bringing up the issue leads to her shouting and crying.
>I don't smoke
>I drink socially

We were dating for 18 months before we started renting a place together. I knew she was a smoker, but i didn't know she was a heavy smoker, and she wouldn't drink whole bottles when we were together, she hid that she was a heavy drinker.

[spoiler]Her ex-fiancee drank a lot and encouraged her too, they had a surprise pregnancy, 6 months in she had a miscarriage, the coward emptied the apartment of his stuff and bailed while she was recovering in hospital, he never returned her calls.[/spoiler]

If you had to tackle this, how would you do it?

____________

UPDATE

She just pissed herself, its 9:20pm on a Wedneday, and she just pissed herself while having a cig out the kitchen door.

Apparently she knew she needed a piss, but thought she could hold it in. She didn't seem that embarressed, nor made much attempt to dry it up.

>After shower she said "I'm all clean now, so you can sit there angry or just get over it. I'm not stupid, I know what I've done, and I don't want to talk about it."

GET

THE

FUCK

OUT

OF

THERE

OP.

Abandon ship.

seconded

run

Yeah get out.

it depends. does it bother you? would it be worth it? does she want to get help?

either you are a fucking retarded loser or never happened.

Does it bother you?
>Yes.
Leave her.
>No.
Stick with her.

offer to help her if you love her. Make an ultimatum, and stick to it if she doesn't change.

if the answer is: yes, no, no. you should get out asap

Fuck her in the Ass cum in her butt then leave

You definitely need to have a talk with her about it when she is sober and tell her that shit needs to change because she can't live like that forever
Its a huge waste of money and she's gonna die

thirded

Op, its hard but if u really care about her just say, I love you and ill stay by you but we need to get you help.

Hi guys my girlfriend cheats on me, puts holes in our condoms, is an alcohol, convicted murderer of 15 babies and she will only have sex with me in the missionary position.

Should I leave her?

t. OP

This
Then this

Spike her wine. Fuck her. Eat her. Shit her out. Eat again. Don't be a pussy and GTFO.

Obviously you stay and should impregnate her then tie her down and force her to bear your children

Triple dubs!!! DAMN user CHECKED!

Faggot detected.

Why would you even want to be near someone who smokes cigs.. Not to mention you kiss that filthy mouth full of cancer holy fuck kill yourself OP

Almost as rare as shiny mudkip

18 months into it is a lot better than 10 years. Time fly's faster the older you get and before you know it you're stuck with a bitch you hated all along but you "wanted to help and be a good guy." Then your sick of it to a point of if she even cries you feel nothing.

get her into rehab. seriously.

Is her name jessica? Blonde curly hair? If so, yeah shes been a drunk for a while. I used to go over at night while she was trashed and wed have sex. We thought we fell in love. She was just drunk. Glad to see she finally moved out of her dads. You fucked up though man.

this thread makes me want wine and cigarettes. Anybody else out there share my feel?

She sounds like fun

WAIT!


BEAT HER BRAINS IN WITH A BRICK THEN TRASH THE PLACE AND MOVE COUNTRY!


SHOVE THE BRICK UP HER ASS TO HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!!

...

From one of the few normal people with a wife a kid and no sexual depravity, get the fuck out. You won't even remember it all in a couple months. You could become unmotivated like her, maybe even drink more.


My best friend had this sane thing happen to him over 6 years. He became a drinker, got fired while making 60k year at a bachelors age, and lost most of his friends cause of his EX gf that sounds identical to yours.


Listen to the chans this one time in your life pls.

OP here, I'm not just posting some shit situation, I'm asking for advice. She has separation anxiety from her past, and obviously needs help/support, but whenever I try to bring it up she explodes.

>If you had to tackle this, how would you do it?

>if you had to tackle this.


Most men wouldn't.

OP here, fuck knows hiw my girlfriend would react if ahe aaw this thread :/

fucking leave faggot

She is clearly showing no signs of wanting to adress her issues.

You can choose to stay with her on this sinking ship and drown with her or you take the lifeboat and continue without her.

i would just fucking leave. just like how if i was secretly a heavy smoker and drinker but hid it from someone until after we moved in, i'd expect them to get the fuck out too

my sides

if she doesn't want help all you'll be doing is dragging yourself to her hell for no reason while you could be happy somewhere else because she's gonna be miserable either way

How the hell do you date somebody for 18 months and not know they drink and smoke like that?

Do people really just fail to actually know the person they are dating?

sounds like my dream girl

get fucked up with her and enjoy, nothing better then drunk cuddle after some sexy time

murder/suicide

I'm with this user. If she's hot I'd be all in on this one. I'd love the fuck out of her until the alcohol destroyed her looks..then I'd trade her in for a new drunken slut with less mileage on her

Start her smoking meth. Then you'd both have real problems.
Just walk away

OP here, I love her for all the reasons that aren't listed above.

Dude, people get pretty fucking crafty. I lived with my family for over a year hiding my drinking. I started at 1/2 a bottle of vodka a night and moved it up to a whole bottle.

Family just thought I had shit tolerance cause I'd drink 3 or 4 beers in front of them.

Bumping because I find OP's situation interesting and would like to here his and other user's opinions.

Leave

...

No offense but you need to leave and abandon that crazy chick before you get bad habbits from her or she goes full out heroin junkie and drags you down in that pit.

Don't suffer. Leave her.

yeah if she's already getting blotto and pissing herself, she might still be hiding her pill & powder habit from you

I bet you see why her ex left now

Pissed on floor and doesn't want to talk about her problems... sounds like she isnt fully open to you and has feelings she doesn't like sharing with you.... she's too emotionally damaged and fucked by the sounds of it...

OP here, she's promising change, but I don't see it. She'a blaming the house move for all the stress, but i'm the one thats handled the entire situation; finding the place, sorting removals for myself and her place, scouting shops for furniture, building IKEA wardrobes and bookcases, etc.

she sounds cool to me. then again i also smoke and drink quite frequently.

cut out your judgmental shit op. its an uglier habit than alcohol

>pisses self
>not at all embarassed
story of my life

well it depends on many things, but you're in a pretty shitty situation OP, most people just leave in these cases
but you can also man up, confront her and send her at least to a psychiatrist. that's basically your two choices.

also for the cigs its a normal thing, when you're drunk you want to smoke everytime

nice trips and agreed.
If the situation was reversed she would either cheat, dump you and leave or just eav

Does she atleast have a job?

two choices

A) kick her out (the correct choice, this is going to get worse and she will lose her job and you will pay for everything, if yu don't she will flip out)

B) start raping her while she's past out drunk.

Girls use anything to get stressed over even if it's something simple...

OP here, yeah she has an office job and her drinking doesn't affect it.

It will soon, mark my words, its the same with every alcoholic, there is no such tjg as a functioning alcoholic just those that haven't hit bottom yet.

glad to see someone chimed in from this perspective.
she has a job and it doesnt affect her performace. then get the fuck over it. accept people as they are

i meant this obviously

You are either a white knighting beta or an alcoholic, I have been with girls with severe problems. The thing is people only change if they want to change, not others hence why people rarely change, unless forced by the situation, so being a coddling beta won't make her change.


Walk the fuck away is the most manly thng yu can do.

> She'a blaming the house move for all the stress, but i'm the one thats handled the entire situation;
she sounds like my alcoholic mom. She pulls the same shit. SHe has been that way for years my dad lives a miserable existence. Seriously ask her to get if help she says no leave. The rest of your life will be fucked over and you dont deserve that. Its not your mistake so why should you pay for it?

i use to be an alcoholic. i still drink heavy on weekends though. and im not talking about coddling her and petting her hair and saying everythings gonnna be alright. im talking about just fucking understand.
they could care less about your judgmental bullshit. so just chill the fuck out

quadred

See, see this guy is a prime example... "I used to be an alcoholic, now I just drink heavily on weekends hero derp thats fine"

"herp derp take my advice because its what I would want in the situation as an alcoholic and I'm not biased at all, run your life for someone else's who doesn't give a crap about you enough to not drink derrrp"

the user's in this thread who are telling you to leave arent doing the typicall Sup Forums bad advice trolling like they do normally. They are being genuine. And when you hear the same thing for the majority of the thread you should likely listen.

This thread is blatant bait and you are all retards.

this

i dont recall saying any of that but youre right, thats what id like in that situation.

just like you have expectations in your relationships.
none of these arguments are unbiased. its all subjective

OP here, I've posted this thread 3 times in 3 days, and very few of the anons are trolls.

Sup Forumsrotherhood

You are saying "understand" which is code for let her drink and deal with the consequences, no matter the detriment to your life, we both know you would only change if you were forced or by your own accord and no matter what any loved ones said it wouldn't make a difference.

I'm sorry you are an alcoholic but you fucked up your life, don't expect others to fix it.

>inb4 sob story how is some one elses fault.

OP here, there's more I could add to this, but it's already getting TL;DR

Do people really just fail to actually know the person they are dating?

Thread is bait, but I can confirm that hiding stuff is pretty easy. Especially if you DON'T live together.

My girlfriend thinks I'm the nicest guy in the world but really I'm a hateful, thieving compulsive liar and pervert, among other things.

We all wear masks, user

now you post it

Run, don't walk, run away from this situation.

no i wouldnt change. i would change if my drinking affected someone else, and then id only change what i was doing wrong. without stopping my drinking.

you assume to much. you think ive fucked up my life. i havnt, i hold a decent job. and i dont want anyone to fix anything. why do you think i or ops girl would?

My gf is an alcoholic. She'd get shitfaced every night and fight, pissed herself while laying on me once. She had to go sober because some people are just fucking crazy. Still together, within a year of her getting sober she got a job paying twice as much as her old one and we bought a house. I do miss sloppy drunk sex. At least weed is legal here.

I didn't say you want to fix anything thats my point, she doesnt want to be different, so she wont be, maybe you are lonely and never see anyone on the weekends whwn you drink so you fuck up no ones life (unless you do see people, In which case, newsflash Buddy, think you are or not, yu fucking up those peoples lives) on the weekend, but OP is talking about his girlfriend, who is actively fucking up his life.

If she doesn't have a problem with the way she is, then fine, but OP doesn't have to live a shit life for her. Its not about understanding I have lived with self destructives including substage abusers and have had portions of my life fucked up, I bet if you talked to them they haven't even realised.

Its not worth your life trying to fix the unfixable and its not worth the inevitable disappointment and lying of trying.

Bail out. I'm with an alocoholic right now. She's been clean for about a year, but we still party from time to time. By clean I mean no serious binging.

Here's some highlights from over the past 3 years:

-Drinking vodka and pissing bed
-Missing holidays due to hangovers / binging
-Pissing on the hotel room in Catalina after very nearly fighting the occupants of the next room over. She had been yelling any carrying on, and they got pissed. She smiled and pissed on the floor, and said "fuck this place anyway". TBH it was a dump..
-Making me "rape" her countless times to shut her the fuck up
-Making me fuck her in the ass when I didn't want to. It shut her up long enough to pass out
-Constantly interrupting my sleep
-Acting the fool in public when drunk
-Pissing off the neighbors
-Justifying drinking a bottle of wine , then getting faded and trying to drive to the store for another. Took her keys multiple times.
-Fell in a bush and pissed herself.
-Got mad and slept in her car on a public street. Pissed herself in car.
-Fallen multiple times. Knocked a tooth out on the toilet and cut the fuck out of her face. Her family probably though I beat her.
-Straight up tried to kick my ass one night Pulled out a bunch of my hair.


And so much more. Too much to type.

I stay with her because I love her, she is unique, and owns up to her bullshit, and honestly tries not to drink. But when she does, all bets are off. Can't tell you how many lights I have slept lightly worried to death that she will fall down the stairs.

I don't know how anybody else could put up with her though...