>Recently started living together with girlfriend. >Discover she smokes 20 cigs a day. >Discover she drinks 2 bottles of wine a night, Monday-Thursday. >Discover she drinks 3 bottles of wine a night Friday- Sunday, plus 'stressful' nights. >Bringing up the issue leads to her shouting and crying. >I don't smoke >I drink socially
We were dating for 18 months before we started renting a place together. I knew she was a smoker, but i didn't know she was a heavy smoker, and she wouldn't drink whole bottles when we were together, she hid that she was a heavy drinker.
[spoiler]Her ex-fiancee drank a lot and encouraged her too, they had a surprise pregnancy, 6 months in she had a miscarriage, the coward emptied the apartment of his stuff and bailed while she was recovering in hospital, he never returned her calls.[/spoiler]
If you had to tackle this, how would you do it?
____________
UPDATE
She just pissed herself, its 9:20pm on a Wedneday, and she just pissed herself while having a cig out the kitchen door.
Apparently she knew she needed a piss, but thought she could hold it in. She didn't seem that embarressed, nor made much attempt to dry it up.
>After shower she said "I'm all clean now, so you can sit there angry or just get over it. I'm not stupid, I know what I've done, and I don't want to talk about it."
Christian Diaz
GET
THE
FUCK
OUT
OF
THERE
OP.
Hunter Reyes
Abandon ship.
Angel Nelson
seconded
Samuel Rodriguez
run
Owen Evans
Yeah get out.
Elijah Myers
it depends. does it bother you? would it be worth it? does she want to get help?
Cooper Cooper
either you are a fucking retarded loser or never happened.
Robert Evans
Does it bother you? >Yes. Leave her. >No. Stick with her.
Anthony Fisher
offer to help her if you love her. Make an ultimatum, and stick to it if she doesn't change.
Luke Adams
if the answer is: yes, no, no. you should get out asap
Isaiah Bennett
Fuck her in the Ass cum in her butt then leave
Matthew Edwards
You definitely need to have a talk with her about it when she is sober and tell her that shit needs to change because she can't live like that forever Its a huge waste of money and she's gonna die
Asher Adams
thirded
Joseph Sanders
Op, its hard but if u really care about her just say, I love you and ill stay by you but we need to get you help.
Alexander Scott
Hi guys my girlfriend cheats on me, puts holes in our condoms, is an alcohol, convicted murderer of 15 babies and she will only have sex with me in the missionary position.
Should I leave her?
t. OP
Mason Brooks
This Then this
Christopher Campbell
Spike her wine. Fuck her. Eat her. Shit her out. Eat again. Don't be a pussy and GTFO.
Jack Gomez
Obviously you stay and should impregnate her then tie her down and force her to bear your children
Jace Thompson
Triple dubs!!! DAMN user CHECKED!
Easton Smith
Faggot detected.
Jack Harris
Why would you even want to be near someone who smokes cigs.. Not to mention you kiss that filthy mouth full of cancer holy fuck kill yourself OP
Jacob Murphy
Almost as rare as shiny mudkip
Grayson King
18 months into it is a lot better than 10 years. Time fly's faster the older you get and before you know it you're stuck with a bitch you hated all along but you "wanted to help and be a good guy." Then your sick of it to a point of if she even cries you feel nothing.
Hunter Campbell
get her into rehab. seriously.
Benjamin Roberts
Is her name jessica? Blonde curly hair? If so, yeah shes been a drunk for a while. I used to go over at night while she was trashed and wed have sex. We thought we fell in love. She was just drunk. Glad to see she finally moved out of her dads. You fucked up though man.
Charles Rogers
this thread makes me want wine and cigarettes. Anybody else out there share my feel?
Josiah Carter
She sounds like fun
Jayden Smith
WAIT!
BEAT HER BRAINS IN WITH A BRICK THEN TRASH THE PLACE AND MOVE COUNTRY!
SHOVE THE BRICK UP HER ASS TO HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!!
Jace Edwards
...
Jacob Morris
From one of the few normal people with a wife a kid and no sexual depravity, get the fuck out. You won't even remember it all in a couple months. You could become unmotivated like her, maybe even drink more.
My best friend had this sane thing happen to him over 6 years. He became a drinker, got fired while making 60k year at a bachelors age, and lost most of his friends cause of his EX gf that sounds identical to yours.
Listen to the chans this one time in your life pls.
Luke Perez
OP here, I'm not just posting some shit situation, I'm asking for advice. She has separation anxiety from her past, and obviously needs help/support, but whenever I try to bring it up she explodes.
>If you had to tackle this, how would you do it?
Luke Hill
>if you had to tackle this.
Most men wouldn't.
Nathaniel Davis
OP here, fuck knows hiw my girlfriend would react if ahe aaw this thread :/
Caleb Howard
fucking leave faggot
Brody Rodriguez
She is clearly showing no signs of wanting to adress her issues.
You can choose to stay with her on this sinking ship and drown with her or you take the lifeboat and continue without her.
Camden Brown
i would just fucking leave. just like how if i was secretly a heavy smoker and drinker but hid it from someone until after we moved in, i'd expect them to get the fuck out too
Owen Cruz
my sides
Ian Jackson
if she doesn't want help all you'll be doing is dragging yourself to her hell for no reason while you could be happy somewhere else because she's gonna be miserable either way
Jason Martinez
How the hell do you date somebody for 18 months and not know they drink and smoke like that?
Do people really just fail to actually know the person they are dating?
Dylan Russell
sounds like my dream girl
get fucked up with her and enjoy, nothing better then drunk cuddle after some sexy time
Eli Foster
murder/suicide
Christian Garcia
I'm with this user. If she's hot I'd be all in on this one. I'd love the fuck out of her until the alcohol destroyed her looks..then I'd trade her in for a new drunken slut with less mileage on her
Owen Peterson
Start her smoking meth. Then you'd both have real problems. Just walk away
Hunter Parker
OP here, I love her for all the reasons that aren't listed above.
Jonathan Wright
Dude, people get pretty fucking crafty. I lived with my family for over a year hiding my drinking. I started at 1/2 a bottle of vodka a night and moved it up to a whole bottle.
Family just thought I had shit tolerance cause I'd drink 3 or 4 beers in front of them.
Levi Jenkins
Bumping because I find OP's situation interesting and would like to here his and other user's opinions.
Christian Harris
Leave
Matthew Brown
...
Jonathan Ramirez
No offense but you need to leave and abandon that crazy chick before you get bad habbits from her or she goes full out heroin junkie and drags you down in that pit.
Brody Moore
Don't suffer. Leave her.
Ethan Rogers
yeah if she's already getting blotto and pissing herself, she might still be hiding her pill & powder habit from you
Adam Richardson
I bet you see why her ex left now
Blake Sanders
Pissed on floor and doesn't want to talk about her problems... sounds like she isnt fully open to you and has feelings she doesn't like sharing with you.... she's too emotionally damaged and fucked by the sounds of it...
David Phillips
OP here, she's promising change, but I don't see it. She'a blaming the house move for all the stress, but i'm the one thats handled the entire situation; finding the place, sorting removals for myself and her place, scouting shops for furniture, building IKEA wardrobes and bookcases, etc.
Jeremiah Long
she sounds cool to me. then again i also smoke and drink quite frequently.
cut out your judgmental shit op. its an uglier habit than alcohol
>pisses self >not at all embarassed story of my life
Brody Lewis
well it depends on many things, but you're in a pretty shitty situation OP, most people just leave in these cases but you can also man up, confront her and send her at least to a psychiatrist. that's basically your two choices.
also for the cigs its a normal thing, when you're drunk you want to smoke everytime
Landon Diaz
nice trips and agreed. If the situation was reversed she would either cheat, dump you and leave or just eav
Samuel Phillips
Does she atleast have a job?
Brody Cooper
two choices
A) kick her out (the correct choice, this is going to get worse and she will lose her job and you will pay for everything, if yu don't she will flip out)
B) start raping her while she's past out drunk.
Caleb Morris
Girls use anything to get stressed over even if it's something simple...
Camden Gomez
OP here, yeah she has an office job and her drinking doesn't affect it.
Joseph Ross
It will soon, mark my words, its the same with every alcoholic, there is no such tjg as a functioning alcoholic just those that haven't hit bottom yet.
Dominic Hernandez
glad to see someone chimed in from this perspective. she has a job and it doesnt affect her performace. then get the fuck over it. accept people as they are
Elijah Bennett
i meant this obviously
Eli Young
You are either a white knighting beta or an alcoholic, I have been with girls with severe problems. The thing is people only change if they want to change, not others hence why people rarely change, unless forced by the situation, so being a coddling beta won't make her change.
Walk the fuck away is the most manly thng yu can do.
Camden Barnes
> She'a blaming the house move for all the stress, but i'm the one thats handled the entire situation; she sounds like my alcoholic mom. She pulls the same shit. SHe has been that way for years my dad lives a miserable existence. Seriously ask her to get if help she says no leave. The rest of your life will be fucked over and you dont deserve that. Its not your mistake so why should you pay for it?
Easton Rogers
i use to be an alcoholic. i still drink heavy on weekends though. and im not talking about coddling her and petting her hair and saying everythings gonnna be alright. im talking about just fucking understand. they could care less about your judgmental bullshit. so just chill the fuck out
Jose Murphy
quadred
Kayden Brown
See, see this guy is a prime example... "I used to be an alcoholic, now I just drink heavily on weekends hero derp thats fine"
"herp derp take my advice because its what I would want in the situation as an alcoholic and I'm not biased at all, run your life for someone else's who doesn't give a crap about you enough to not drink derrrp"
Nolan Hughes
the user's in this thread who are telling you to leave arent doing the typicall Sup Forums bad advice trolling like they do normally. They are being genuine. And when you hear the same thing for the majority of the thread you should likely listen.
Ryder Cooper
This thread is blatant bait and you are all retards.
Bentley Anderson
this
Isaiah Brown
i dont recall saying any of that but youre right, thats what id like in that situation.
just like you have expectations in your relationships. none of these arguments are unbiased. its all subjective
Connor Lewis
OP here, I've posted this thread 3 times in 3 days, and very few of the anons are trolls.
Sup Forumsrotherhood
Carson Lee
You are saying "understand" which is code for let her drink and deal with the consequences, no matter the detriment to your life, we both know you would only change if you were forced or by your own accord and no matter what any loved ones said it wouldn't make a difference.
I'm sorry you are an alcoholic but you fucked up your life, don't expect others to fix it.
>inb4 sob story how is some one elses fault.
Eli Jenkins
OP here, there's more I could add to this, but it's already getting TL;DR
Parker Myers
Do people really just fail to actually know the person they are dating?
Thread is bait, but I can confirm that hiding stuff is pretty easy. Especially if you DON'T live together.
My girlfriend thinks I'm the nicest guy in the world but really I'm a hateful, thieving compulsive liar and pervert, among other things.
We all wear masks, user
Brayden Nelson
now you post it
Cameron Parker
Run, don't walk, run away from this situation.
William Thomas
no i wouldnt change. i would change if my drinking affected someone else, and then id only change what i was doing wrong. without stopping my drinking.
you assume to much. you think ive fucked up my life. i havnt, i hold a decent job. and i dont want anyone to fix anything. why do you think i or ops girl would?
Ian Ortiz
My gf is an alcoholic. She'd get shitfaced every night and fight, pissed herself while laying on me once. She had to go sober because some people are just fucking crazy. Still together, within a year of her getting sober she got a job paying twice as much as her old one and we bought a house. I do miss sloppy drunk sex. At least weed is legal here.
William Diaz
I didn't say you want to fix anything thats my point, she doesnt want to be different, so she wont be, maybe you are lonely and never see anyone on the weekends whwn you drink so you fuck up no ones life (unless you do see people, In which case, newsflash Buddy, think you are or not, yu fucking up those peoples lives) on the weekend, but OP is talking about his girlfriend, who is actively fucking up his life.
If she doesn't have a problem with the way she is, then fine, but OP doesn't have to live a shit life for her. Its not about understanding I have lived with self destructives including substage abusers and have had portions of my life fucked up, I bet if you talked to them they haven't even realised.
Its not worth your life trying to fix the unfixable and its not worth the inevitable disappointment and lying of trying.
Camden Cook
Bail out. I'm with an alocoholic right now. She's been clean for about a year, but we still party from time to time. By clean I mean no serious binging.
Here's some highlights from over the past 3 years:
-Drinking vodka and pissing bed -Missing holidays due to hangovers / binging -Pissing on the hotel room in Catalina after very nearly fighting the occupants of the next room over. She had been yelling any carrying on, and they got pissed. She smiled and pissed on the floor, and said "fuck this place anyway". TBH it was a dump.. -Making me "rape" her countless times to shut her the fuck up -Making me fuck her in the ass when I didn't want to. It shut her up long enough to pass out -Constantly interrupting my sleep -Acting the fool in public when drunk -Pissing off the neighbors -Justifying drinking a bottle of wine , then getting faded and trying to drive to the store for another. Took her keys multiple times. -Fell in a bush and pissed herself. -Got mad and slept in her car on a public street. Pissed herself in car. -Fallen multiple times. Knocked a tooth out on the toilet and cut the fuck out of her face. Her family probably though I beat her. -Straight up tried to kick my ass one night Pulled out a bunch of my hair.
And so much more. Too much to type.
I stay with her because I love her, she is unique, and owns up to her bullshit, and honestly tries not to drink. But when she does, all bets are off. Can't tell you how many lights I have slept lightly worried to death that she will fall down the stairs.
I don't know how anybody else could put up with her though...