Hi Sup Forums. Putting a tl;dr at the bottom. I expect absolutely nothing to come from this...

Hi Sup Forums. Putting a tl;dr at the bottom. I expect absolutely nothing to come from this, but I am in a desperate and shitty situation, so here I am.

I currently have $1.10 in my bank account. I need to earn $1000 minimum within the next two weeks preferably, or by the end of September at worst. I am unemployed, have no college degree, and have a bit of a spotty work history thanks to me being a piece of shit. I've got some plans for starting my own business, yadda yadda who doesn't these days, but that will obviously take time and money that I do not currently have.

Getting to the point, I want to get my financial shit together but have no idea where to start, especially needing money so quickly. I have a good computer, smartphone, car, and I am not an idiot (mostly) but have no certified or marketable skills in any practical sense. I also have 100% free time, given that I have no job, and a drive to do whatever it would take to earn the money, legal or illegal (though if I did something illegal, I would need to be reasonably certain I could get away with it).

What do you guys recommend I could do? Or is my situation hopeless and I'm already fucked? I don't know what else to add so here is a picture of a hamburger.

>tl;dr need $1000 within ~3 weeks by any means necessary

How can I contact you OP. I got the perfect job for you.

Do you know any drug dealers? If you could prove you are trustworthy, some dealers will give you a quantity of weed to go out and sell. You yhen give them the money, but they give you a cut. As a former weed dealer, i employed this tactic on a few occaisions

First off, thats a hot dog. Secondly what kind of car do you have & year and mileage

Why don't you give sperm already ?

I'll humor you and ask, what's the job?

The only "dealer" I know is a friend who buys from a friend and sells to other friends. Not a bad idea, I'll just have to see if any of my contacts know a real dealer.

Sharp eyes, user. It's a 2010 Honda Civic with about 80000 miles on it. I can't sell it though if that's where you're headed with this.

takes weeks to get screened and registered. Plus, you need decent genetics and often a college degree etc. Most people don't qualify. If you can get it setup and accepted its not a bad gig at all, though

location?

Yeah, there's no way that's a realistic option for me.

In Tennessee, near Johnson City.

work shitty job (McD or something) and afterwards sell car and/or PC

Well tell your friend you can make him some money. Have him give ya an eigth and turn that shit FAST. You better know some real potheads. Give hime the money you made, and he will reward you. This takes all the risk associated with dealing drugs away from the dealer and puts it on you, therefore it should be attractive offer.

I am not willing to discuss in public, even if its on an anonymous message board. It pays well and that is all you need to know. You said your desperate for fast money, then I got you.

If you don't even know any dealers you don't have anywhere near enough connects to distribute pretty much any drug; especially thousands of dollars worth. You'll end up losing a shit load of money at best and getting imprisoned or killed at worst.

an eighth can net you like $30 profit at fucking best. Good luck moving ounces with shitty connections and prices

Yeah. But he got no job and a month. Back in the day before i went straight i could have easily done that

OP, lend me $1.10 will ya

Get two jobs waiting tables and you'll have $1,000 in tips by the end of 2 weeks.

Working 16 hour days will suck ass, but if i was desperate with no other way to generate income, i'd start hitting up bars and restaurants to see if i could start right away

Delivering pizzas can make a ton of cash in high volume areas

Basically any job in a 'tipping' industry is plausible Jobs where you have to fill out applications and clear drug tests, and wait for paychecks are not for you right now obviously.

TLDR: get a job that tips cash, multiple jobs if necessary, and work like a mother fucker for 2 weeks then bail if you have to

>I have a good computer, smartphone, car, and I am not an idiot
then sell all of that, smart guy

sure, but you had connections. Selling to strangers is bullshit. OP seems like he's probably in highschool or young and inexperienced. Trying to deal and not knowing what you're doing isn't work the risks

This.
OP sounds like a rich white kid.

Suck 1000 dicks for a dollar you incompetent faggot.

I just bought a Flir C2 infrared camera. Came from amazon today. Cost $695. Bought it on a whim. Didn't even look at the price until now,but i knew it was kinda expensive.

You'll never be in this position. Because you're a fuckup.

You should kill yourself. You're in for a life of this. An uphill struggle to maintain your head above water.

Suicide now.

OP, I need a job done quick. This is a job with a large cash out. Please respond asap with contact info.

You'll get kill in a road crash dude.

Dealing is an option for me, but probably not the best. I have the contacts, but no experience.

I've worked tipping jobs in this area before; never again. People around here don't tip shit. If I go for a real job, no matter what kind, I need a guaranteed paycheck.

I can't sell anything I listed, because I'm not retarded. I'm not selling my potential to earn money in the long term for a few bucks in the short term.

Not in high school, nor am I rich. 21, middle class, and trying to pull myself out of the hole I dug myself into during a severe episode of depression.

Thats a hotdog not a burger no wonder you have no job

exactly. so before he becomes one of those shitheads who smell like piss under an overpass, he should kill himself.

God I hate the fucking homeless. Fucking beggars. Scum of the goddamned earth.

All that money yet you've nothing better to do than anonymously tell people to kill themselves. Money can't buy fulfillment, I suppose.

Fucking told me.

kys faggot

You have a car, can't you Uber or something ?

I'm actually signing up for Uber as we speak

I have tons of stuff to do including that. That's just how I get a bit of fulfillment from life.

I'm a multitasker.

Do a search on indeed and glassdoor for laborer for Afghanistan. There were some on their for 10 grand a month.

Thats a fucking hotdog kys

multitask deez nuts faglord

check see if u can start doing deliveries for uber/ caviar/ postmates / door dash

you have to work 12 hour shifts with 1 hour to rest in between

its doable in a car

Construction Laborer - Overseas - Afghanistan
RELYANT GLOBAL - Maryville, TN 37801
$10,000 a month
Full-time, Contract
Apply with your Indeed Resume
RELYANT Global is an organization dedicated to providing high-quality services in any environment. We work closely with our clients to understand their specific needs and develop solutions catered to their requirements. The services we provide on an international scale require community support and involvement at each new location, as well as skilled personnel trained in their specialized fields.Relyant Global is looking for skilled construction personnel to work on a one-year contract on Bagram Air Force Base. Candidates with prior experience in electrical, plumbing, carpentry, HVAC systems, and supervision are asked to provide resumes with detailed experience and

Go on chaturbate and jerk off for money

I was about to send you a thousand dollars for the fuck of it

>here's a picture of a hamburger
>hot dog

FUCK YOU. no money for you.

Why are so many people mad about my hotdog joke, it's almost like humor is dead and so is god

Holy shit, what a fucking asshole we've got here.

What about your parents user? You're only 21, you're far from being already fucked. Come on.

My parents are being very supportive of me, but I already owe them over 4k and that number just keeps growing. I want to break free from their support, learn to be independent and pay back my debt. I may have been a piece of shit up until now, but I don't want to be one forever.

Still, you're living in an unsocial shithole as king of unsocial shits. When you jackass hit the ground I'm still enjoying my life as poor fucker with free healthcare and shit in Europe.

Bumping

The bump is appreciated but I think everyone is dead. Just as well, I really didn't expect much to come from this, anyway.

There isn't much you could do in 3 weeks. If you said 3 years I'd recommend you study programming online and try to get a job somewhere doing IT and then move into a junior role.

If you said 3 months I'd say become an EMT via a public fund.

Since you said 3 weeks I'd say drive around town looking for metal and bring it to scrap yards; praying that you end up with 300 dollars per week.

I've done the last option with my Dad a lot, and the most I've ever seen come out of it was 400$. That's only because he had a lot of copper he'd been saving in his truck, as well as a lot of metal, and two industrial sized air conditioning units.

At this point user, you should really try to get a job anywhere to at least have something going before you need to move or suck dick to stay where you are.