Stories from when you were little

Stories from when you were little

>be me 13
> I've never had a bath
>house only has showers
>I really want to see what it feels like
>around 6 pm
>finished dinner
>go to bathroom lock door
>get in shower
>Block drain with shampoo bottles
>turn on shower hot water
>it starts to fill up slowly
>fast foward an hour
>water is above my ankles
>parents knock on door
>"user are you okay?"
>I respond saying I'm fine
>"can you get out of the shower please"
>no
>"user it's been long enough"
>ignore them
>fast forward 30 minutes
I can see outside glass door and see water coming out
>its flooding the bathroom
Fast fowars another 2 hours
>water is to my knees
>I can sit down and take proper bath
>water has soaked bathroom floor
>leaks outside bathroom
>"user WHAT THE FUCK"
>start laughing
>after thirty minutes of this dad disassembles lock and gets in
>I open shower door
>water rushes into bathroom
>makes my dad slip and soaks him
>run out naked into backyard
>dad runs out and chases me
>tackles me
>brought inside
Grounded for two weeks

Kek

bumper kart 19

Good story op

bump

>be 10
>fancy restaraunt
>"how do you want your burger"
>in half
>lulz were had

>be like 10
>never wiped my ass ever after shitting
>undies would constantly get coated with shit and turn crusty
>didn't like doing laundry either so would just toss my crusty shit undies behind couches or wherever
>mom is too busy to clean cause of work, so hires a maid
>maid quits a week in because of always having to pick up and clean my shitty undies

Shart in the häus

holy fucking kek

>Be me 14
>parents out on date night leave me alone
>really want some potatoe chips
>can't go out and buy them because >my parents would kill me if I left the house
>grab potatoes, frying pan, and vegetable oil
>cut up potatoes
>fry them
>after 15 minutes I take them out
>they came out soggy and I felt miserable
> i leave them for a while
>I'm curious about what would happen with hot oil cold water
>put pan in sink and turn on faucet
>tiny trickle of cold water
>it starts bubbling and starts to whistle
>then like it explosion hot oil drops fly everywhere
>arm and face burned
>shirt covered in oil
>hot oil ruins new paint on kitchen
>a couple minutes later parents get back
>start yelling at me and ban me from cooking

>be 12, fat beta fagget
>food is my cannabis
>outside my catholic chad-filled school there's this nigger that sells chikun sandwiches
>ohboiohboi.yums
>buys two because I was a fat fuck that covers his issues with fat
>remember my family starts fucking around when they see me swimming in my delicious but horrid gastronomic filth
>ideatime.rar
>autistic former self's brain comes with the appareantly good solution of putting the fucking sandwiches in my crotch so my grandma wouldn't find them
>nowIknowhowthejewsfelt.flac
>alpha kid that bullied me catches my faggot self doing such parade of human failure
>"user, that's not how you use food..."
>shiet_noway.gif
>stares him dead in the eye for solid two minutes which felt like an etereal eternal limbo of spagetthi falling
>mini-douche finally leaves while smirking and laughing
>mfw get to the car and eat mah chikun sanwich with no ragrets

>be me
>about thirteen at the time
>cousin tells me about rule 34
>doesn't explain what it is
>google it at home
>open first result
>Daphne from Scooby-doo giving the succ
>childhoodruined.png
>still interested though
>mom opens the door
"user have you seen my face lotion?"
>looks at my computer screen
I haven't watched that show since then

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...

>be 15
>out playing airsoft
>snipe this one kid
>didn't call his hit
>shoot him twice more
>eventually get sick of his shit and shoot him in the ear
>fucking bullseye
>right down his ear canal
>jackass immediately falls down, crying
>dontgiveafuck.jpg
>switch targets, nail a couple more guys
>medics come out
>pick him up, move him off the field
>game ends, walk off field
>kid has a ruptured eardrum
>says a sniper got him
>I'm the only sniper on the team
>sling shotgun off back and hide rifle
>MFW this was four years ago and I still have no regrets

Would they seriously be able to get you anyway even if they did know you shot him? Seems like playing a game with small balls traveling at high speeds with air resistance, poor aim, etc that having your ears uncovered and something going in there is kind of on you. Actually asking, I've never played airsoft so I don't know what flies.

> Be me
>11 yo
> Never seen porn before
> Be in a expensive resort with family for long weekend
> Met a Jewish friend 2y older than me
> Tells me "quieres jalar pita?" (have an erection)
> "Yes of course" (never heard that phrase in my life)
> It's like 7pm
> Went in to an office and start up the PC
> 2003 - W XP (good old days)
> Google --> Sex
> Sees a vulva and a vagina for the 1st time in my life
> HOA!! it wasnt only a dash and a dot!
> Find it somehow little bit ugly (35+ pornstars)
> FeelsLikeCristobalColon.png
> Fast fordward 10 min
> Forgot that there was a BIG WINDOW next to the PC
> Apears random security guy
> He saw us watching porn
> Turn off the shit out of the PC (the botton (then) turned off the PC instantly)
> Run
> Jewish friend: "He can't catch us, my family is powerfull, I have money, etc etc"
> Never heard again form my friend.
> Never heard about that again.

Here's another one
>sitting in class one day
>open backpack
>there's a model of a Tiger tank in there
>niggawut.png
>it must have fallen in at home
>cute girl sees me with tank
>walks over
"Oh my god that is such a cool model! Where'd you get it?"
>we talk about it for a little while
>she's the cutest fucking geek I've ever seen
>eventually ask her on date
>we've been going steady for three years now
It's possible, but I don't think they care anymore

>11 years old
>awkward child
>have this game i play where i hold my poop and pee in for as long as i can
>don't know why i did it... again, weird kid
>week after moving to new town with dad and sister
>playing in neighbors front yard with sister and neighbor
>have had poop and pee in for a very long time, starting to feel like i wont be able to hold it much longer with all the running around we were doing
>run home and the front door is locked
>go around back and it's locked too
>check driveway and forgot dad was going to the store
>run back to neighbors house yelling that i need to use his bathroom
>before we can make it to his front door i start to pee myself
>sister notices it dripping down my legs and yells "ewwwwwww!"
>neighbor stops and looks at me
>beet red, start to tear up and can't hold poop in any more
>don't want to ruin my leggings with poop so i pull them down and aimed for the grass
>neighbor starts yelling "ewwwwww!" along with my sister
>crying and pooping

after that i hid in my backyard until my dad could find me and talk to me about it. on the plus side the neighbor kid didn't tell anyone at school and we ended up getting pretty close after that.

>be me walking to bus to go home from school
>need to take piss
>go to gym to relieve me of my stresses
>walk in bathroom door
>halfway through door kid in changing rooms yells "dont go in there"
>dont ask him why cuz im busting
>walk in and smell the fucking most gnarly shit
>try my best to block it out
>go to urinal to piss
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>zip up fly and wash hands
>dry hands
>go to door to get to my bus
>door handle is gone
>mfw door handle is gone
>mfw imma miss my bus
>start banging on the door
>trying not to inhale gnarly shit
>start shouting 'open fucking sesame cunt'
>right now i think imma die to this gnarly shit
>hear nearby door open
>say "dude open door pls"
>he opens door
>mfw an annoying cunt that i dont like opens door
>tells me the story of what happened
>tells me some kid was in there for all of assembly
>his friends were pranking him by pulling on door
>nek minnit handle comes off
>shamefag.jpg
>tell this kid to fuck off, i have a bus to catch
>i exit bathroom
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>cant believe what just happened
Gnarly shit.